Dum Spiro, Spero
by spottedhorse
Summary: While I breathe, I hope. Brass and the CSIs are involved in a case of murder and kidnapping. The investigation takes him back 40 years to another time and another place. Will it take him forward too? Other characters heavily involved.
1. The Past

Vietnam 1971

She stood on the path at the edge of her village, watching them leave. Her eyes were focused on one in particular, the third one in the line, the one that stole a glance over his shoulder at her, whose eyes were as full as hers; the one who took her heart with him.

She watched as they crossed the verdant fields, braving the open space, secure that the enemy was not close. The little group headed towards the path at the other side of the field, the forest and hillside just ahead. Like a worm, they inched across the last of the field and into the green of the forest, her favorite turning his head towards her once more as he trudged behind the leader. Soon they disappeared into the trees and she knew that the path would take a slight turn, climb the small hill, and then head east. It would take him back to his home, thousands of miles from her. He'd promised he would come back for her but she knew that he'd promised the impossible. The gods were not that gracious to her. Already they had taken her older brother and sister. And now her mother was sick. But her greatest fear was what would come next, now that he and his friends had left.

She turned away from the scene, away from him and looked out over the lush green fields alongside their village. Father was out there, working. He had hopes for a large harvest this time. They would have much rice to warm their bellies this winter, thanks to the help of the Americans.

The Americans had helped with many things around the village while they were there. A new well had been dug and the school rebuilt. One, they called him Tex, had written home and many books had come. From the books, they began to learn English. And they had learned others things as well. Her brother had studied the pictures in one book and learned how to fix the old truck that sat on the edge of the village. It would be used to take their harvest down the mountain to be traded at the market. Then others things that the village needed would be brought back. It was a good book.

Her Marine had shown her a book filled with pictures. Many were of the city that was his home. He'd told her about his home, his family, his dreams… and she had dreamed with him. But now he was gone and so were her dreams.

With a sigh, she turned and walked along the path into the village. Entering her home, she smiled as her little brother scurried away from the kettle. "You are hungry?" she asked. He nodded that he was and she poured a spoonful of the rice soup into a bowl for him to eat. Then she moved to where her mother laid on the mat, sleeping. Carefully she touched her mother's head; the fever still raged. Taking the rag from the bowl of water beside her, she began to wipe her mother's brow, patting the hot skin with the cooler rag. There was little hope for recovery, but perhaps this might give some comfort.

And as she tended her mother, she thought of him. They had met early in morning in the trees behind her family's hut. He had spent the night with his men in the forest and found her as soon as the group returned to the village at dawn. They'd known this day was coming for weeks but her heart still ached. And under the cover of the trees he'd kissed her and held her and whispered his love to her. And he had cried with her. She remembered his face as he'd backed away from her, his grief plain to see in his eyes. Tears rolled down her face as she tried to focus on her mother and push these memories away.

A little while later, she heard rustling near the door. Looking up, she saw her older brother enter. He approached the two women and nodded toward the mother. "Is she any better?"

"No, the same…"

He crouched next to her. "They are gone…the Americans?"

"Yes,'" she nodded as sadness filled her.

"It is not good," he said. "Up in the hills, the enemy waits. They will be here soon."

"I know," she said.

"You must hide in the forest when they come. There are stories…from other villages," he implored.

"But what of our mother? Who will care for her?"

He glanced down at his mother, regret in his eyes. "She is beyond help, barely alive. But if they find you here…" he sucked in a deep breath. "Father will die too…from the shame."

"Alright then, I will hide in the forest. But what about you?"

"I will hide too," he assured her. "The militia will fight them for a few days but we cannot hold out long. Then we will scatter and hide…until they leave."

"Be careful, Brother. Father and the little one will need you…after."

"And you," he said heavily.

"I will be careful as well. But I lost my heart today… and my desire to live."

"You knew he would leave, they always do," her brother admonished.

"But before, I cared about them as friends. This time, I loved him as a woman loves a man. He carries my heart with him and will always."

Sighing, her brother touched her arm to give her comfort. "And he loves you as well. He asked Father for you. I'm not supposed to tell you. But he wanted to take you back with him, back to America. Father had given his blessing but the American Captain said no, there would be no wedding. It is against their policy. He was very angry when he came to explain to Father."

Tears began to roll down her face. "I know. He told me. And he said he would come back for me as soon as he could. But it will not happen. They won't come back…" She wiped her tears and took a deep breath to calm herself. "But one day, I will go to America and I will find him…one day."

Weeks passed. Their mother died and they buried her together. That night in the dark, she heard her father weeping. She rolled on her side and wept too, for her mother and for her man.

The enemy did come and they ransacked the village in anger since the Americans had stayed there. The older brother, Tuan, was in the fields but her father was in the hut along with the younger brother, Nguyen. The Communist soldiers rummaged through the family's few meager belongings and discovered one of her dresses. The father tried to tell them it had belonged to his dead wife but one of the soldiers beat him and the younger brother, fearing for his father's life had blurted out that his sister had left the village that morning. The men left in search of the daughter and found her in the forest. They dragged her back to the hut where they raped her repeatedly as the father and the brother were forced to watch. And then laughing, they left; but not before killing her father. She helped her brothers bury him next to their mother. Then she and her brothers returned to their hut.

Months passed and her belly grew large with a baby. The villagers knew what the soldiers had done; several of the girls of the village had been raped that day. All were shamed by it and shunned the girls in their grief. Saddened by the treatment, she spent most of her time in the hut, cooking and caring for her brothers.

And then the baby was born and there was no doubt; the baby had blue eyes like his father. He wasn't the product of the soldiers' rape but of her time spent with the American. It was a shame even worse than the rapes and the villagers became threatening. Even her older brother, Tuan, treated her differently. "You let him use you," he spat at her one evening. "And now he is gone and we are left with this shame."

She and the baby remained inside while her brothers worked in the fields. She only emerged when her brothers were nearby to protect her. It was that way for two years, until the enemy came back as victors and took their land. She and her family were moved to another village to work there. But she held onto her hope; one day she would go to America and find him; one day…

The new village was larger than their old village. At first, the faces were friendly and she thought it might be safer for her baby. Within a few days, however, the reason for them being there became apparent. It was a work camp. The work was hard and seemingly non-stop. And if they hesitated or made a mistake they were whipped and starved, along with everyone else there. Yet the other workers remained friendly for awhile.

But as soon as one of the women saw the color of her son's eyes, word spread and the air grew heavy with disapproval and anger. So again, she began spending most of her free time in their hut. The baby, who was now almost three, was difficult at times, energetic and feeling confined. So it became Nguyen's responsibility to take him for walks, never going far from their home.

The girl, now a woman, didn't mind so much for herself but it angered her that her people treated her child so horribly. Other children would throw stones at him as Nguyen walked him through the village. Women spat at him and swung their brooms and over time, the boy grew quiet. Then one day he balked at going out.

That night, she and Tuan talked. It was time to leave. They had heard stories of people leaving on boats and being picked up by the Americans…

A few nights later they slipped away and made their way to Saigon, now renamed Ho Chi Minh City. There Tuan found work and Nguyen went to school. She found work as well, cleaning for others. Her son was tolerated in the city, but barely. And she was looked upon as being no better than a prostitute. But still, she had hope.

It took three years to save money and then find the opportunity to leave. Finally, they found a man who would take them on his boat. They were to meet him in two nights. When they arrived, she was surprised by how many people would go on the boat with them. Once they were all on board, there was no room to move and no privacy.

She was nervous when she saw how low the boat rode in the water as they made their way out into the deep water before turning south and heading for the ocean. On the fourth day, another boat came upon them. Cramped from sitting in one place so much, hot, hungry, and thirsty, she hoped that perhaps this new boat would bring help. But men with guns ordered the boat captain to stop and the men pulled some of them off and threw them in the water. She watched in horror as they laughed at the people drowning. Then they pulled their smaller boat to land.

The men with guns raped the women and girls and beat the men. All of their belongings were stolen and they were left to die. Tuan looked after his family, bringing wood to burn for warmth and finding berries and other food to eat. Together the two of them crafted a pot from scraps left by the pirates and she boiled water for them to drink. A few days later, another boat happened by and the survivors were rescued. They were taken to another place where doctors and nurses cared for them and then they were sent to a camp.

It frightened her when they were told about the camp. Would it be like the work camp they had been sent to before, where they worked all day and were whipped and starved? The people at the camp looked tired and hungry. And there was no work. But they did not bother her or her son. Everyone there was focused on one thing, survival. Days passed into months, and then the months became years. And slowly, she lost hope.

Then a new man came to run the camp. The people were put to work with various tasks to make their camp better. The food became more plentiful and better quality. And teachers came to teach Nguyen and her son. As the boy learned, he would share his knowledge with his mother and slowly she began to learn English, not only to speak it but to read and write it as well.

Other men came wearing dark clothes and sometimes they brought women with them who wore long robes and covered their heads. But they were nice as they talked to the people and asked questions. She liked talking to them because they were kind and it helped her learn her new language. One of the men took a special interest in her son and her family.

Then one day, word came. They were going to America. And hope was reborn.

* * *

><strong><em>"Hope is the thing with feathers, that perches in the soul, and sings the tune without words, and never stops at all."<em>**

_ Emily Dickinson_


	2. The Present

Many thanks to those who reviewed. Those who read my stuff often know that writing cases isn't my strong suit. But a comment from Moonstarer made me think I need to try harder because she is right, it is a crime show. And then a clip Beaujolais sent me of an interview PG did several years ago made me decide to use a crime as the setting to tell a story I'd been planning for awhile. In it he said he liked the scenes that deal with the crimes the best and he makes the same point, it is after all a crime show. He prefers to leave the characters' stories as part of the backdrop. But I can't just relegate JB to the back, so I'm attempting to intertwine his backstory with the investigation. So here we are. Please let me know if you see holes or other problems in the investigation. I don't mind help at all, lol. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy.

* * *

><p>Las Vegas: Present Day<p>

Jim Brass stood in the hallway outside the apartment. He'd been preparing to leave his office after a long shift and head home for a quick dinner, stiff single malt, and an early night to bed. But the ringing phone on his desk changed all of that. So instead, he was moving into the eleventh hour of his shift and waiting for CSI to show up.

He watched as the elevator doors opened and Nick Stokes stepped out into the hall. "Jim," the Texan said in greeting. Jim nodded and pointed to the door. "In there," Jim said. "DB, Asian male, late fifties…maybe early sixties. Don't have a positive ID yet. Apartment is leased to Tim Trang." Jim frowned as he read the name, a cold feeling of dread encompassing him. "The DB is probably him but …"

Nick nodded at the police captain and then moved into the apartment. Jim followed him in. "Landlord said a neighbor called him complaining about the noise. Landlord opened the door and as soon as he spotted the body, he bolted. He never even looked at the vic's face." Nick nodded. "Good, less contamination."

Jim spent the next hour talking to neighbors and getting nowhere. Sighing, he entered the apartment again to see if Nick was having any better luck. "David took the body?" He asked as he glanced at the spot on the floor where the vic was before. Blood indicated where his head had been, since it appeared he'd died from one bullet through the brain.

Nick turned from his study of a nearby table. "Yeah, a few minutes ago. TOD about three hours ago. Looks like an execution. But there was a struggle…From the looks of things, I think someone else was in the apartment."

"Someone else? So two perps or another victim, a witness? So, where are they," Jim asked as his eyes scanned the room.

"Dunno," Nick said absently as he turned back to the table. "I've lifted a few prints so maybe that'll tell us something."

"Hope so. The neighbors didn't know much about Trang but they all said he lived alone."

"Closet says he does…" Nick answered.

Glancing around again, Jim decided he'd done all he could do for now. "Okay, well…I'm heading back to call next of kin. The landlord gave me a number for his nephew. Jenkins will stay here with you. Let me know what you find…"

Nick nodded. "Sure," he said as he lifted another print.

Once back at PD, Jim wearily sat down at his desk to make the call. He'd handled countless numbers of these over the years and they never got easier, he thought as he dialed. With a sigh, he acknowledged inwardly that in fact, they seemed to be getting tougher. After a conversation with the nephew, Jimmy Trang who agreed to meet him later to ID the vic, he went to the detectives' bullpen to talk with Detective Sam Vega. He wanted Sam to back him up on this one so he went over the details so far and then Jim had him start looking into the vic's life. Before heading back to his office he stopped for a cup of coffee. A call from Ecklie about his testimony in a case detoured him again before heading back to his office. Finally, Jim made his way down the hall and turned the corner. His pace slowed as he approached the door, seeing a couple seated in chairs across from his desk. Frowning, he wondered who they were and why they were in his office. Turning, he headed for the reception area. "Hey Williams," he called out to the officer behind the desk.

Williams looked up at his Captain and nodded. "Yes sir?"

"There's a couple in my office…"

"Yeah, um…their name is Trang. They asked for you."

"Trang?"

"Yeah, since he asked for you and all…I thought, you know…maybe you know them?"

Jim sighed heavily. "No, but I think they're part of my case….I just wasn't expecting…it doesn't matter," he said unenthusiastically as he turned to walk back. Entering his office, he approached the couple and introduced himself. "I'm Detective Jim Brass," he said as he faced them.

The man stood. "I'm Jimmy Trang. This is my wife, Alicia," he continued as he indicated the woman sitting next to him. "I know we spoke earlier but now…our daughter is missing." Jim detected an accent in the man's speech but not a heavy one. Glancing at the wife, Jim noted that she had light hair and blue eyes that were not as dark or as intense as her husband's.

"Yes, well…Mr. Trang, wait….you say your daughter is missing? I called about your uncle. Was your daughter at his apartment?"

"Yes, my daughter was with him and now he is dead and our daughter is missing. Her name is Mai. She is twelve years old." He became more and more agitated as he spoke.

Jim studied the man before him. He was Asian, or rather Ameri-Asian, his facial features showing traces of both heritages. He had dark hair and dark blue eyes. Those eyes were looking at him intensely. His wife was looking at him with equal deliberation. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize….why didn't you tell me about your daughter when we spoke?"

"I thought she had perhaps gone to my mother's home with our son." The man hesitated as he tried to calm down. "Our daughter was visiting my uncle, Tim Trang. She was staying overnight…Alicia and I were out late and…"

Jim nodded. "Okay, I get it. So, you think whoever killed him took your daughter?"

Nodding quickly, Jimmy Trang answered. "Yes, I do. There were some people who were angry with Uncle…over business matters."

Jim brushed the back of his head with his hand, sighing. "Business matters? What business was your uncle in?"

"Import- export. He and my other uncle, Guy, began the business over ten years ago, using contacts that Uncle Tim still had in Vietnam."

"What do they import? Brass had a sick feeling about where this was leading.

"Textiles mostly… for the garment industry. But also, they import some food items for the Asian markets here. Also, some inexpensive shoes and clothes. Why does this matter?"

"Hey, you're the one that said people were after him over the business…," Brass growled. Then feeling remorseful that he was so argumentative, he waved his hand as if wiping away his last comment. "Look, anything you can tell me…it would help, okay?"

Jimmy exchanged glances with his wife and then looked back at Brass. "My uncles started the business after the US opened diplomatic relations with Vietnam in the 90s. I am the CFO. We have twenty other employees, including Guy's wife and Alicia. Also, my mother worked there until recently. Other employees are mostly Vietnamese but two are not. Alex Ramirez is Sales Director and Anita Benedict is over the Distribution Center. Everyone is friendly and I cannot imagine that anyone at the company would hurt us like that.

Jim studied the man closely. There was something about him…something that seemed familiar, but he couldn't remember ever having met him before. "Have we…um…I mean, ... have you ever met me before?" Jim asked him finally.

Jimmy looked at him, perplexed. "No, but I have seen you on TV… doing press conferences and media alerts. Your face is familiar to me."

Alicia stepped closer. "Captain Brass, please…find our daughter," she pleaded.

Turning his attention to her, Brass nodded. "We'll do everything that we can. If you have a picture, a recent one, we can use it in an Amber Alert. CSI is at the scene now and maybe they'll come back with some clues. But for now, the quicker we can get the alert out, the better."

Jimmy pulled his wallet from his pocket and opened it. He pulled a photo from inside. "This is her most recent school picture…taken a few months ago. Will it help?"

Jim took it from him and told him it would. "If you'll just wait here. I'll go put this in the system. In just a few minutes the whole city will be on the lookout for her." The couple nodded and sat back down as Jim headed to the squad room to get the alert out.

As he was walking back to his office, his cell rang. Pulling it out of his pocket, Jim answered. "Brass. What do you have for me?"

"Jim, it's Nick. I'm back at the lab and we're running the prints…there's some child prints here…."

"Yeah. Mai Trang. Twelve years old and the Amber Alert is already out…"

"How'd you…never mind You're channeling Grissom, aren't you? Anyway, I besides hers, I have an unidentified set that is running through the system now. They were on the furniture and a lamp that was in the middle of the struggle. After that I have a few others that are smudges or didn't have as many samples. Give me a couple of more hours and I'll have more for you."

"Thanks Nicky," Brass said as he crossed the threshold to his office. Then turning his attention to the girl's parents, he filled them in. "CSI is running prints now and Investigator Stokes has also collected some other evidence. He hopes to have more information in a couple of hours. Meantime, the alert is out. Why don't you go home. I'll call you if anything happens and in the meantime, Mai might get an opportunity to call you. It'll be good if you are home to answer it."

"Yes, yes…of course," Jimmy said anxiously. "You will tell us the minute…"

"…as soon as I hear anything, I promise. Meantime, sit tight at home in case the kidnappers or Mai try to call. Also, I'm sending a couple of guys with you to set up equipment to trace the calls. Okay?"

Jimmy nodded. "Yes. Please, keep us informed…" he said as he and Alicia prepared to leave. Then in the doorway, Jimmy Trang stopped and turned to face Jim. "You will give this your full attention?"

Jim frowned, confused. "I just said…" and then he paused, reminding himself how tired and irritable he was and how frightened the parents were. "Mr. Trang, I have a daughter. I know how scared you are. But I promise we're on it."

Trang studied him intently. "It's just… I am Vietnamese. Some would not see this as important as…perhaps… a white child," he said acerbically.

Jim's eyes narrowed and he felt his jaw clinch slightly. "I think I know where that's coming from, Mr. Trang." He shifted his weight on legs that felt like lead, trying to assume a friendlier posture. "And father to father, I promise you…we're going to do everything we can to get your daughter back safely."

Jimmy Trang looked at him keenly. Then slowly, he nodded his head, accepting Jim's statement. "I will wait to hear from you." Jim watched them walk down the hall and sighed. This was going to be another heartbreaking case, he feared.

Jim tried to be patient but the idea of a twelve year old girl out there at the mercy of a killer ate at him, so after an hour of irritating just about everyone at PD, he headed over to CSI to see how Nick was doing. "Anything yet?" he asked Nick as he walked into the layout room, where Nick was working.

"So far, all the prints all have the last name of Trang. Mandy's working on some partials, trying to see if she can bring them out better and get an ID. Hodges is working on some clumps of dirt I found across the room; near the struggle with the little girl…at least, I think that's where they nabbed her. Greg is watching over the blood samples that we collected, looking for DNA. And I've got some bloody footprints that were left in the carpet."

Jim looked down at the footprints and frowned. "Sneakers?" he asked.

"Seems like it…size 9. The owner overpronates slightly, especially the right foot. See how the print is more defined on the big toe than the little ones?" Nick pointed at the print of the right foot.

Jim nodded. "Yeah, I know about pronation…But is this one of Trang's prints?"

"Didn't find any shoes to match in the apartment and it is too big to be the girl's, so maybe our perp's?"

"Okay. Well, you seem to be rolling with it. I'm in my third shift, so I'm going home to get a little sleep. Vega is backing me up on this but call me if anything pops anyway. Otherwise, I'll see you in a few…"

"Okay Jim," Nick said as he turned his attention back to his work.

Jim headed back to PD, checked in at the desk for messages and deciding that they could wait, cleared his desk and then headed out. His next shift began in less than eight hours, but Jim knew he'd be back before then.

* * *

><p>"<em>All wish to possess knowledge, but few, comparatively speaking, are willing to pay the price<em>_." Juvenal_


	3. Dreams and Reality

By the time Jim drove into his driveway, he was fighting to stay awake. He decided to ditch plans to grab a bite to eat as he unlocked his door and trudged into his house. Tossing his jacket over a nearby chair, he pulled his loosened tie off as he made his way to his bedroom. By the time he had slipped out of his clothes, he was already falling asleep.

_Gunfire sounded from deep in the forest on the other side of the fields. His small group of Marines huddled just outside the village, prepared to defend the village in the case of attack. The eight Marines waited, knowing they were the last line of defense for the tiny community. An Army unit had engaged the enemy earlier that afternoon while on patrol and the battle had waged for several hours. The last hour, the gunfire had been sporadic, indicating that one side or the other was withdrawing._

"_Hey Brown, got a smoke?" he asked. Brown was hunkered down behind a rock a few feet away. Brown reached in his shirt pocket and tossed the pack across to him and he pulled one out and lit it. Then tossing it back, he nodded his thanks._

_Conrad cursed from behind him. "Be careful with that smoke, jackass. They could see it."_

"_I doubt it," they heard from Kerr, who was a few feet in front of them, behind a large tree. "They're still too far away." Kerr was their Sergeant and had the most experience. "We'll have to be alert tonight though. Ruiz, Savoie, and Conrad… secure and try to get some shut-eye. We'll sleep in shifts," the Sergeant commanded. The three instantly withdrew from the edge of the clearing and hunkered down behind some trees, getting as comfortable as possible before trying to rest._

_He surveyed the rest of the little group and wondered who would be the next to go. Savoie had been the latest replacement, coming in when Andersen was killed a month or so ago. It was hard to keep track of time here. One day just seemed to roll into the next. Their tiny CAP unit had been assigned to this village about a year ago. They were here to help protect it, train the young militia, and help make improvements in the area. So far, they'd lost three men in the effort. He'd forgotten the real name of the village; they simply called it __Chết Tiệt, or hell._

_VC mortar rounds had destroyed several buildings, really no more than huts, the previous year. The CAP unit had helped rebuild and repair the little school and a few homes, as well as making repairs to the village well. Not bad, he thought, as his mind wandered over his five months here. It could be worse, after all. He'd started his tour near Da Nang and later moved to Khe Sanh. Then here. They'd seen less combat here, but were also farther away from back-up. Basically, they were out here with their asses hanging out waiting to get shot. Statistics weren't good for Cap units; causalities were high. _

_The hairs on the back of his head began to bristle, alerting him to danger. Turning to peer over the fallen tree that was his cover. "About one o'clock," he told his comrades as he watched the movement in the trees across the field. _

_Five heads rose just enough to look across and locate the source of the concern. Then a collective sigh of relief sounded as they recognized the Army unit slowly making its way across the open ground. Sleep would be easier tonight, he thought. Maybe I'll even sneak into the village…see if I can get anywhere with An, he thought. The girl, a year or so younger than him had been very shy with him but had warmed up lately as he'd spent time with her father, helping with some repairs to their hut. His Vietnamese was limited and she spoke very little English, but he'd been attracted immediately. She was pretty, he thought and her smile made him feel good. Yeah, he mused, I'll go see An tonight…_

The shrill buzz of his alarm woke him. It took him a minute to shake off the dream and bring his mind back to the present day. Jim grunted and pondered the dream momentarily. "Haven't dreamed about 'Nam for years," he said softly, wondering what had prompted the dream. Then he remembered the Trangs and he knew why; Jimmy reminded him of the people of Chết Tiệt.

After a shave and shower, Jim drove back to PD. His mind wandered back to 1970 as he drove. An was his first real love, as much as anyone can really be in love at that age, he mused. He tried to recall her face but the passage of years had blurred the image. All he could remember clearly was her eyes when she looked at him; no one had looked at him that way since. Thinking about her created a mild ache within him as he wondered what his life would have been like if an ocean hadn't come between them.

"Probably would have screwed it up like I've done every other relationship," he thought as he pulled into the parking garage. By the time he made it into the building and to his desk, Jim's mind was fully in the present. After taking care of some Administrative duties for the shift, he called Nick at CSI.

"Hey Jim, I was just gonna call you. Identified the prints from the Trangs, including a Guy Trang."

"Yeah, he is the vic's brother. They're in business together. The nephew says he's on his way back to Vegas from a trip to Vietnam," Jim replied.

"Right. I have two other prints that I'm working on. So far the system hasn't had a hit though," Nick said. "Most of the blood samples were from Trang. There's one sample that I haven't started on yet. And I did get another sample from a drop I found near the door. We're working on it too. DNA is male but that's all I can tell you right now."

"Okay, thanks Nicky. I um…I promised I'd keep the Trangs in the loop and I don't have much to tell them so far. But at least I can tell them you have something to work with." Jim closed his phone with a sigh.

He glanced at a picture that sat on his desk of Ellie from happier times. He could understand Trang's frustration in his office. Jim knew he'd be out combing the city looking for his daughter and in fact, had done so several years ago. The hairs on his neck began to itch again as he thought about the possible trouble this little girl could be in.

A knock at his door brought him out of his thoughts. Looking up, he waved Sam Vega in. "What do you have, Sam?"

"The guys canvassed the area but nobody saw anything. I did some background work on Trang. He came here from the Philippines sometime in the early 80's, living first in L.A. before moving to Vegas in '93 or '94. Apparently he was one of the boat people and spent a couple of years in a refugee camp at Palawan before a Catholic organization sponsored him and some of the others at the camp and brought them to L.A. Worked in construction while he worked on citizenship and also went to night school. Got a job at an export company in L.A. and worked there until he moved here and started his own company. Owns Trang Imports with his brother. Never married as far as I can find. Not so much as a traffic ticket. Clean as a whistle," the detective concluded.

Jim grunted. "Fits what the nephew told me. Have you looked into the business? The nephew says there were people after him because of the business but he didn't really know what was going on."

"I'll see what I can find," Vegas said. "Also, I sent Brian Trinh to speak to some people he knows in the Vietnamese community…see if they can help any."

"Okay, good…" Jim brushed the back of his head with his hand as he considered where to take the investigation next. "Okay, you look into the business…and I'll go talk with the Trangs again…see if he has anything he can add."

Jim's mind wandered back to Vietnam as he drove to the Trang's house. _Night had fallen over their village, as they had come to think of it…or at least, he had. The enemy was in the area so Kerr had decided they would sleep out in the forest that night, instead of huddling in the village in one of the public huts, like the tiny school. Sometimes families would open their huts to members of the group at night but it wouldn't do for the enemy to find the Americans inside the village, if they came that way. Consequently, they were huddled near trees, finding some shelter in the twisted tangled roots and undergrowth_.

_Conrad and Ruiz had first watch and the others were trying to sleep. But for him, sleep wouldn't come. He was worried about An. What would the gooks do to her if they raided the village? Her parents had hidden her before; hopefully they would do it again. But the thought didn't bring him much comfort. It was a long night for Jimmy Brass, who didn't sleep at all. Relief washed through him the next morning when they went back to the village and he spotted An outside her hut._

Jim tried again to remember An's face as he drove but he just couldn't bring it into focus. He could remember the way she made him feel.

_Xin chào. Tôi tên là Jimmy Brass. Tên của bạn là gì? He smiled at her, finally getting the chance to talk to her. Although her father had befriended him, the family had worked to keep him away from their daughter. She smiled back and answered simply, "An." His stomach tightened as he swallowed. She was about the most beautiful girl he'd ever met and he tried to tell her…"dep…"_

_She blushed and looked to the ground. He had embarrassed her and somehow it made him want to know her even more. There weren't many things in this place that he liked, but when she was around, he was almost happy. She wasn't like any of the girls he'd known in high school. But he knew he had to be careful. Their unit was here to help these people, build their trust…not make them hate Americans. But god, she was so pretty…especially when she was being shy and blushing. It tickled something inside of him to see her like that._

Jim chuckled as he remembered the day her mother had chased him away from the hut, from An, with a rake_. "Lấy đi, lấy đi," she yelled as she waved the rake at him. Jim had run away laughing. He chanced a glance back over his shoulder at An, who was laughing as well. She bowed slightly and looked off to the trees behind her hut, silently letting him know that she would meet him that night in their special place. _

Jim felt familiar warmth spread through him as he thought about that night; it had been their first time. He had known she was a virgin and he really shouldn't be doing what he was doing with her, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. She was the only good thing in this miserable place, he'd thought. Besides, the older and wiser Jim Brass thought, I was just a horny kid at the time who hadn't seen a pretty face in ages… He shrugged with the thought, remembering how smitten he had been with the girl. Once again, he quietly wondered how his life might have been different if…

He parked on the street in front of the Trang house. Alicia Trang answered the door, a look of terror enveloping her face as soon as she saw him. "Ha…have you f…found her?"

Jim's chest ached, she looked so frightened. "No, no we haven't," he said gently. "I wanted to talk some more with you and your husband, if that's okay… the more information we have, the more we have to work with…"

She opened the door and let him enter. "I'll get Jimmy," she told him as she indicated the living room to the left. "Please, take a seat and…I'll be right back." She disappeared down the hallway. Jim sat on a chair near the sofa. Years of these kind of interviews taught him that the couple would want to sit together. He took a deep breath as he settled in to wait for the Trangs.

"_I worked so hard for that first kiss__  
><em>_And a heart don't forget something like that_

_Like an old photograph__  
><em>_Time can make a feeling fade__  
><em>_But the memory of a first love__  
><em>_Never fades away._" Tim McGraw

* * *

><p><em>Xin chào. Tôi tên là Jim Brass. Tên của bạn là gì? <em>Translates to:Hello. My name is Jim Brass. What is your name? …Or at least I hope it does, lol.

* * *

><p>I hope this is making sense. I know the story jumps back and forth in time and it could get confusing. Let me know what you think;)<p> 


	4. Conversations

I'm happy that you are still with this and reading along! And for those who have commented or made this a fav or alert, I really do appreciate you. I'm trying to be really good on this one and double check all my facts and the spelling and grammar, so it is taking longer between posts. Thank you for your patience. Happy reading:)

* * *

><p>Jim heard soft breathing from across the hall and spotted a young boy peering around the corner at him. He smiled at the boy and spoke softly, "hey buddy." The boy looked away and then dipped his eyes to the floor. Then shyly, he looked up at Jim again. "My name's Jim," the detective told the boy. "What's your name?"<p>

"I'm not supposed to talk to strangers," the boy said, finding his courage.

Jim chuckled. "Your parents taught you that, huh? It's okay…that's good. But I'm a policeman, looking for your sister. Your mom let me in…but hey, if you don't want to talk, that's okay."

The boy seemed to be sizing him up. "I'm Vinh," he told Jim as he stepped into the room. "Is Mai coming back?"

"Well, that's what I'm working on. I got my guys out looking for her now, but I need to ask your parents some more questions." Jim paused and looked at the kid. He was a good looking boy with blue eyes and light brown hair that sat over a high forehead, like his father's. The left brow arched slightly as he looked across the room. His expression was intense and intelligent and he was definitely studying Jim. Without knowing his Vietnamese heritage Jim wouldn't have guessed it, except something about the structure of his eyes... Jim thought he must look mostly like his mother's family. Brother and sister looked a lot alike, Jim mused, except that Mai had a rounder face and she didn't have the slight under bite that the boy exhibited and her eyes most definitely gave away her Asian ancestry. "Hey, maybe you can help me," Jim suggested.

Vinh edged a little closer and looked at him apprehensively. "I want you to find Mai."

"So, did you visit your Uncle Tim much…stay with him like Mai was?"

Vinh swallowed. "Sometimes. But this time I was staying with Bà. Uncle Tim was going to take Mai to a movie and I didn't want to go, so Bà said I could stay with her."

"Bà? Who is that?" Jim asked.

"My grandmother. Uncle Tim is…was her brother, but he helped raise my father."

"Oh? What happened to your grandfather?"

Vinh shifted uncomfortably, and scratched the back of his head. Then frowning, he replied. "I don't have one. Mama's father died before I was born and Papa never knew his father. He was an American soldier in Vietnam. I asked Bà about him once and she just started crying so I never asked again. Papa gets angry if I try to talk about him."

"Yeah, I guess that's understandable," Jim said sadly as he thought of the countless stories of Amer-Asian children left behind.

"Did you ever go to Vietnam?" the boy asked curiously.

"Yeah…a long time ago," Jim answered. Once again, his mind flashed back to his time spent there and suddenly regrets threatened to overwhelm him.

"Did you fight in the war?" The boy asked tentatively.

"Ah, yeah," Jim said as the boy's question brought him back to the present. "I lost some good friends there, but I met some really good people too."

"Vietnamese people?"

Jim smiled. "Yeah. I met some really nice Vietnamese people... especially in this one village…"

"Papa says he will take us to Vietnam to visit when we are older. He says he hasn't been back since they left when he was a little boy. He wants to go back and see what it is like now."

Jim smiled. "I was there in the nineties. You'll like it, I think. It is still a beautiful country."

Vinh's eyes lit with excitement. Just as he was about to speak, Jimmy and Alicia walked into the room. "Vinh," his father admonished, "Captain Brass is not here to listen to your silliness."

Vinh suddenly looked shy again and stepped back, his thumbs playing nervously across his finger tips. "Oh, it's okay," Jim offered. "Vinh and I were having a nice conversation. He was telling me that your family is planning to visit Vietnam in the future."

Jimmy looked at him warily. "Yes. I want to go back and see it as an adult. I was a child when we left."

"Well, I think you'll enjoy your trip. As I was telling Vinh, I was there in the 90's and it was very beautiful."

Jimmy frowned. "Why would you go there? I thought most Americans hated Vietnam… or maybe it is just the people."

Jim tilted his head slightly, trying to understand this man's anger. "No, I don't hate the country…or the people. I went back to find some of the people I met when I was there…before."

"You fought in the war?" Jimmy almost spit the words out.

"I did. It was miserable. The only good thing about it was the people I met along the way. There were some very nice Vietnamese people… got to know some of them. They were good people and made me feel welcome, even though our presence was drawing fire from the Viet Cong."

Jimmy looked at him speculatively. "Many American soldiers told lies and made promises that they never intended to keep…"

Jim rubbed the back of his head with his hand, trying to think of a way to diffuse the situation. "Look, I was just a kid myself during the war. I know a lot of promises were made…and broken. All I can tell you is that although I hated the war, hated some of the things I saw, I thought we were doing the right thing. And the unit I was in tried to make life a little easier for the village we were near. And I never hated the people… just the war."

Jimmy glared at him for a moment. Alicia's hand moved to Jimmy's and she squeezed it supportively. The action didn't go unnoticed by Jim. This was a touchy subject with the man. Obviously, he was one of the Amer-Asians that had been abandoned, one of the children of the dust as they were called.

The air seemed to go out of Jimmy and his expression slowly changed. "My apologies," he said unconvincingly. "My family was met with…hostility when we came to America. Many of the Vietnamese were. And our sponsors, while having good intentions, tried to force American culture on us, trying to get us to forget our own. When I meet someone new, I assume… but that is wrong of me. And we do need your help now," he said softly.

"It's okay. No harm…" Jim shifted his weight in the chair and then pulled out his pen and pad, hoping the action would change the atmosphere in the room. "Our investigation revealed that Tim came here from the Philippines…"

"Yes, we left Vietnam on a boat…a raft really. Thai pirates captured us and held us for two days before the Malaysian Navy rescued us. They took us to the Philippines. A Catholic group in Los Angeles sponsored us to come to the United States. My mother worked to support us and Tim and Guy worked also. They moved to Las Vegas when I came to school here. They had saved for many years to have the money to open their business. But what does any of this have to do with finding my daughter?"

"The more we know about your uncle, the better chance we have of finding your daughter. Understanding his life might help us find whoever took her."

Jimmy sighed. "I wish I could tell you more but Uncle was very private. He loved his family but he kept his thoughts to himself."

"Have you heard from Guy…when he'll get here?"

"He has a flight tomorrow. He should arrive late in the day. He was very upset by the news. Tim was older. They had an older brother but he died in the war. Tim took the responsibility of being the eldest and he and my mother raised Guy and me."

Jim pulled his card from his jacket pocket and handed it to Jimmy. "Hopefully, we'll have found Mai by then, but just in case …Please, have him call me when he arrives. And you said he is married. I need to speak with his wife also. And Vinh mentioned his grandmother…your mother? She might have something to add…"

Yes, of course," Jimmy replied as he took Jim's card. "I will tell them to call you."

"Just one more question," Brass said. The other man looked at him expectantly. "You don't have to answer but…your names… you and your uncles were born in Vietnam but you have American names…"

Jimmy Trang looked at him, disdain in his features. "It was Tim's idea. He thought that maybe it would be easier if we had American names, so we all picked what we wanted to be called. When we were in the Philippines, the director of the refugee camp liked Jimmy Buffet and played his music all the time. He was kind to us, so I choose Jimmy in honor of his favorite singer. My mother said it was a perfect solution."

"Oh, I see…" Jim said as he processed the information. "Um, well thanks…I'll let you know as soon as we have more information…" Jim said as he started to walk across the room towards the door. "And Vinh," he said as he turned to the boy, "it was nice talkin' with you."

Vinh smiled warily glancing at his father to be sure he wasn't in trouble. Jim winked and then walked out the door. Back in his car, Jim sighed heavily. Time was passing and they were no closer to finding the little girl. The pressure was building.

Back at CSI, Nick was processing the evidence he'd found at the scene. He'd finally identified one set of the mystery prints as belonging to the building manager. But there was one set of prints he hadn't been able to nail down and while they were running through the system, he was processing various fibers he'd found near the body. Meanwhile, the blood samples were being processed in the DNA lab.

The fibers came back as white cotton and after further examination, Nick found traces of chloroform on them. A towel maybe, he thought as he examined them again. Then opening the next evidence bag, he poured the contents on a tray on the table. "A button," he said out loud. Further examination revealed that it was a pretty commonly used button on men's pants. Nick shrugged and emptied another bag.

Frowning, he picked up these fibers with tweezers. They were blue, not quite navy but dark. Putting them under the microscope, he was able to determine that they were a cotton-polyester blend. Grunting, he placed the fibers back in their bag.

Straightening up to stretch his shoulders, he twisted his neck until he heard a satisfying pop. Then he moved to the next bag. This one got his attention immediately. It appeared to be a nail, a fingernail, Nick thought. He studied it under the microscope and decided it was too large to belong to the girl. Maybe it was another clue about their guy. After bagging it, he took it to DNA to see if it matched the unknown blood sample.

Walking into the DNA lab, he was surprised to see Greg sitting at the workstation. "Greg, what are you…"

"I thought I'd help you out … since my case is wrapped up."

Nick grinned. "Well thanks…I wanna find this girl before it's too late."

"Yeah," Greg said meaningfully. He opened his mouth to add more but the printer spit out a paper and drew their attention. Greg reached over and grabbed it. After a quick study he told Nick, "Looks like it's a male of Asian descent. But it doesn't match the Trangs." He handed the paper to Nick. "I'm still running the other one. But it'll be a few…"

"Yeah, okay," he said as he looked at he paper. "Oh hey, can you run this fingernail sample? Maybe it's a match to some of the blood…" he said as he handed it to Greg. The younger CSI took it and began preparing it for processing while Nick walked back to the layout room to finish his work.

Nick walked back in the room to find Jim standing there, looking over what he'd found so far. "Oh hey Jim," Nick said as he walked inside. "Just got back the results on one of the blood samples. It's an Asian male not related to the Trangs."

Jim's eyebrows rose as he took in the information. "You sure? No relation?"

"None. Greg's running a fingernail sample I found to see if it's a match."

"Okay. Anything else?"

Nick shrugged. "Nothing that's gonna find the girl. But I'll keep looking."

"Okay," Jim said as he flexed his fingers at his side. "I um…I'll be back at my office if anything pops…" Nick watched the detective as he walked out. The man was looking discouraged, the CSI thought.

Back in his office, Jim thought about tackling some of the files on his desk but decided against it. He called Vega but he hadn't found anything yet either. Jim was frustrated; the case was going nowhere. Just as he was deciding what to do next, his phone rang. It was Sally Trang, Guy's wife.

"Jimmy said you wanted to talk to me," she said. "I'm not sure what I can add to what Jimmy has already told you, but I can meet with you. I have to pick our children up but after that, I will be available." They made arrangements for Jim to meet her at their house in an hour.

Sitting behind his desk, he let his mind wander. As it seemed to be doing a lot lately, it wandered back 40 years to Vietnam.

"_Hey Jimmy," Willie Hayes called out to him. Wait up…"_

_Jim stopped and looked over his shoulder at the tall, slender black man, who was jogging to catch up. Hayes was a corporal, second in command after Kerr but he was also a friend. They'd saved each other's asses more than once. So Jim stopped to wait._

"_Whacha in such a hurry for?" Hayes asked in his soft Memphis drawl._

"_Dunno," Jim said angrily. Then with a deep sigh, he explained. "Just got the word from the CO. He won't approve me marrying An."_

_"He won't?" Hayes was obviously sorry for his friend. "But you an' An… you two belong wid each otha…"_

"_I know that," Jim snapped. "But that asshole… he said I'd feel differently when I got home…he said I wouldn't want a slant eye for a wife when I got back stateside."_

"_Aw man… he called her dat?"_

"_And worse," Jim said angrily. "And then he layed into me for getting involved with her in the first place. I just wanted to wrap my hands around the son-of-a-bitch's neck and strangle him."_

"_You didn't…do anything, did ya?"_

_Jim looked at him squarely. "No. But I swear, if he'd opened his mouth one more time with his filth…"_

_Willie wrapped his arm around Jim's shoulder and walked down the path with him. "It gonna be awright," he said. "You'll see. Afta this is over, you can come back and get her. Won't be no asshole captain tellin' you who you can be with and who you can't."_

"_Yeah, after its over…" Jim suddenly stopped and looked at his friend. "Yeah…I won't be a Marine forever. I can come back after I'm out…thanks Willie."_

"_You bet, Jimmy. You be back. I know you love dat girl, so I know you'll be back."_

* * *

><p>Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory as the wish to forget it.<p>

Michel de Montaigne


	5. Puzzle Pieces

Sorry it has been so long between posts. Hubby dear took me on a surprise vaca and I didn't get to finiish polishing this one before we left. But I'm back and the fingers are busy working on the Brassman (oh, don't I wish, lol). Anyway, hope you enjoy this installment.

* * *

><p>Jim wasn't sure what he expected Sally Trang to be like, but the woman at the door wasn't it. He was surprised by so few things anymore that it tickled him. She was another Ameri-Asian with light eyes and dark strawberry blonde hair. As he looked closer, Jim realized her eyes were green with a hint of hazel. He couldn't decide if the hair was natural or not. Her eyebrows, usually a give away, were light in color too. She appeared to be in her mid forties and was absolutely gorgeous.<p>

"I'm Jim Brass," he introduced himself as he stood on the doorstep.

She smiled and stepped back, welcoming him into her home. "As I said on the phone, I'm not sure how I can help but I do want to," she told him as they sat in her living room.

Just as Jim pulled out his pad and pen, a small girl ran into the room, stopped suddenly when she saw Jim, and then stepped back to stand shyly next to her mother. She had her mother's eyes and a darker shade of her hair, settling Jim's debate about Sally's hair being a natural color. Jim smiled at her and winked and was rewarded with a timid smile in return.

"This is our youngest, Annabelle. She is named for Guy's sister, who has been a second mother to me."

Jim smiled. "You have other children?" he asked Sally.

"Twin boys, Josh and Jake. They are 12 and Annabelle is 7," the mother said smiling proudly. "The boys look more like their father, but Annabelle looks like me," she explained.

Jim nodded. "She does," he agreed. _So the boys look Vietnamese while the little girl… not so much._

He began to ask questions about the Trang's business dealings and possible threats from anyone. Sally Trang had been right; she had little to add.

Greg dashed into the layout room, where Nick was still working. "Got results back on that DNA," Greg said excitedly. "The last sample is female. And get this; there's a high probability of a familial connection to Brass. I ran the sample against CODIS and also our own databases. Oh, and Mandy got a hit on the prints…belong to the same guy."

Nick looked up, feeling hopeful for the first time in hours bit also surprised. "Seriously? Could it be Brass' daughter?"

"No….uh, not enough common alleles for that close a relationship." Greg hedged. He knew from testing Ellie Brass years before that there was not a biological connection between the two but he didn't know if Nick knew about it. So he moved to his other bit of news, "And Mandy's guy is Sammy Chen. He's a clean-up guy for a Chinese Triad in L.A."

Nick's brow furrowed. "So what's he doing here?"

"Dunno," Greg answered. "But maybe Trang's company did some work for them…you know…importing?"

Nick clenched his jaw. "Yeah maybe. I'll call Brass," he said as he pulled his phone from his pocket.

"Sammy Chen? You sure that's his name?" Jim Brass asked Nick through the phone.

"That's what the DNA says," Nick replied. "He's from L.A., so there's no guarantee that he's even still here."

"No, but we'll put the word out anyway. And I'll call L.A. to see what I can find out about him. Thanks Nicky."

"Hey Jim," Nick said before the detective could hang up.

"Yeah?"

"Um, Greg came up with something on that other sample too. Um… he says it's a woman and….she could be related to …you. But not close, like your daughter."

Jim was surprised by that. "Me? …Uh, I don't see how. I mean, well….I do have a cousin in Boston. But she's…I dunno, like eighty. And my older sister…but she's back in Jersey."

"Okay, well….he did say it was probable; not a 100% match."

"Okay, whatever…" Jim said as he thought about Chen and his possible connection to the case. He didn't hesitate after he hung up from Nick's call. Looking at Sally Trang he asked, "you ever heard of anyone named Sammy Chen?"

Sally's eyebrows furrowed together as she thought. "I heard Guy on the phone with someone he called Sammy. It was two days before he left for Vietnam. He told this…Sammy that he couldn't help him…that Tim was the one he should talk to. Guy was very upset after the call."

"Anything else you remember?" Jim asked.

Sally took a deep breath. "Tim came over that night and they went to Guy's office and closed the door. They argued; they never argued so it surprised me. And then Tim left. Guy was very upset."

"Okay thanks," Jim said as he prepared to leave.

"Do you think this Sammy person was the one who….took Mai?"

"We don't know. His name came up in our investigation and right now, we are just following every lead we get," Jim told her.

"Do you think….I mean, is my family safe?" Sally was very nervous, Jim realized.

"Oh, I don't think they have any reason to come after you… unless there's something you're not telling me. But with your husband still away, you might want to stay with someone else…maybe Jimmy or his mother's place…"

She nodded anxiously. "Yes, I think….yes, we will do that. Thank you."

"Good," he smiles gently. "And I still need to speak with her."

Sally frowned. "Good luck with that."

Jim frowned. "What? She anti social or something?"

"No, she's quite friendly actually. But she isn't much of one to work with the authorities. She says all they do is complicate our lives."

Jim nodded. "Okay, but I still need to speak with her…"

By the time Jim made it back to PD, he had Vega and Vartann looking for Chen already, checking the hotels and casinos. A call to the car rental companies revealed that the suspect had rented a car at the airport two days before the kidnapping. A few minutes later, a BOLO was out on Chen and the rental car.

Jim stepped into his office and found Detective Brian Trinh waiting for him. "I talked to some of the local community," Brian reported. "Everyone seemed surprised by the notion that the Trangs might be involved with anything illegal. But Guy would be the weak link if there is one. Word is that Tim and his sister, Anna, are as straight arrow as it gets. Guy has a bit of a wild side."

"Wild? As in…?"

"Well, word has it that he got heavily in debt to some of the casinos after they first moved to Vegas. Tim went to the owners and worked out some deals and had them ban Guy. Also, there have been rumors of Guy and drugs, but nothing definite."

"Okay, thanks Brian. If anyone hears anything else…"

"The word is out and I left my cards all over. I'll get a call."

Another call to L.A. got Jim the background on Chen that he was looking for. "He's a goon for one of the Triads operating there," he told Ecklie and the CSIs in a quickly called meeting. "The Triad is run by Daniel Wong, a second generation Chinese-American with strong ties back in China. He and his goons have their fingers in lots of pies, including counterfeiting, drugs and human trafficking. LAPD broke up one of his best supply lines a few months ago and he's been struggling to find new ways to import and export his goods."

Ecklie looked confused. "Wait, why does he need to export? Isn't he bringing drugs and people into this country?"

Jim grunted. "Seems some of the wealthier Chinese want American women as slaves…"

"So, he's kidnapping and sending our women over there?" Ecklie asked, obviously disgusted.

"And girls," Jim said roughly.

The last piece of the puzzle dropped for the group around the table. Tim Trang had probably been approached by Wong's organization, possibly because of Guy's alleged involvement with drugs, and refused to help. Payback for refusal was his murder and his niece being taken. A collective gasp sounded around the table as they realized that she could already be on her way to China.

The end of the meeting was somber as they went in different directions. Nick and Greg went back to the lab to continue working on the evidence, Ecklie headed back to his office, and Jim went into the detective's bullpen to see if there was any word from the BOLO. Sam Vega was at his desk, calling some of the seedier places in town to see if they'd seen Chen.

"Anything?" Jim asked him as he hung up.

Sam shook his head negatively. "It's like he's disappeared into a hole…"

Anxious and unable to be still, Jim moved through the halls of PD, trying to settle down. As he walked past the patrolmen's locker room, he heard music and paused to listen. The radio was blaring a soulful Percy Sledge and it took Jim back to his last night in Vietnam.

_Resting in a rack, he was trying not to think about An and how sad she'd been when he left. The vision of her standing on the road and watching as he walked away from her had torn at him the entire journey back. And now the radio was playing that damned song…_

"_When a man loves a woman, he can't keep his mind on nothing else  
>He'll trade the world for the good thing he's found<br>If she is bad, he can't see it, she can do no wrong  
>Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down<em>

_When a man loves a woman, spend his very last dime_  
><em>Tryin' to hold on to what he needs<em>  
><em>He'd give up all his comforts, sleep out in the rain<em>  
><em>If she said that's the way it ought to be<em>

_Well, this man loves a woman_  
><em>I gave you everything I had<em>  
><em>Tryin' to hold on to your precious love<em>  
><em>Baby, please don't treat me bad<em>

_When a man loves a woman, down deep in his soul_  
><em>She can bring him such misery<em>  
><em>If she played him for a fool, he's the last one to know<em>  
><em>Lovin' eyes can't ever see<em>

_When a man loves a woman, he can do her no wrong_  
><em>He can never own some other girl<em>  
><em>Yes, when a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels<em>  
><em>'Cause baby, baby, baby, you're my world<em>

_When a man loves a woman I know exactly how he feels…"_

_In his rack, Jim could feel the singer's pain. An was his world. But he had done his woman wrong; he'd left her and as much as he hoped to go back to get her, he knew it was a long shot. Odds were, he'd never see her again. Jim rolled over and faced the wall, not wanting the others to see the tears that were rolling down his face…_

Pressure formed behind Jim's eyes as he stood in the hallway listening to the ending of the song. Briefly glimpsing back over his adult life, he could only remember two other times when he'd cried as much as he had that night; the night he realized his marriage was really over and the day Nancy told him that Ellie wasn't really his. With a heavy heart, he turned and walked back towards his office.

He was sitting at his desk, wishing for a shot of the Scotch that was in his bottom desk drawer, when Catherine poked her head through his door. "Nicky says you've got a suspect," she said brightly.

Jim looked up, surprised by her interest. She hadn't been exactly friendly since their squabble last year over bringing the Dick & Jane killer back to Vegas. Even though he'd been wrong in suspecting Haskell in the new murders, his instinct about bringing the scum back to Vegas had been right in the end…and Ray had paid the price. He'd fought the urge to say 'told you so' at the hospital and he and Catherine had mended fences enough to work together, but the friendship they'd once shared has suffered. And since the investigation into Ray's role in Haskell's death, things had gotten even more awkward.

Still, she was at his door, looking at him expectantly, so he waved her in. "You here on another case," he asked as she settled into a chair across from his desk.

"Yeah, well…sorta," she smiled. "Brought some files over for Lou from a case that's going to trial in a couple of days…"

"The Emerson case? I thought that was still weeks away?"

"Yeah, well…it got moved up. Anyway, it's all old news. But what about your missing girl?"

"Still missing," Jim shrugged. "Nick and Greg are still processing some of the evidence they found at the scene but we know who we're looking for. It's just a matter of getting a lead on the guy now," Jim finished. His eyes slid back to his lower drawer and did not go unnoticed by Catherine.

"This case is really getting to you, isn't it?" Her tone revealed more concern for him than she'd shown in a year.

Jim looked up, into her face and saw her worry. "Yeah. Something about it…about the family is taking me back forty years…"

"To Vietnam…" she finished for him.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Why?" she asked simply. "Because they are Vietnamese? I remember a few years ago…that case with the laundry workers. Gil had one and I had the other but they turned out to be related. You kind of had an extra sense in that one…"

Jim shrugged again. "They were from Laos, but there was just something off about the body language… my instincts just told me that something was off. Maybe this one is just reminding me of my time in country…but, there's something about the father… I can't explain it…"

"He reminds you of someone you knew there?"

A sad smirk formed at the corner of Jim's mouth. "Reminds me of a lot of somebodys I knew there… and the vic; his name was Trang. There was a family in the village where I spent my last nine months; their name was Trang. But it's a common name…"

Catherine was intrigued. Jim rarely spoke of his previous life, preferring to leave it in the past. But occasionally he would open up and give her a glimpse, as he was doing now. "You lived in a village while you were there?"

"What? You thought I slept in the trees?' He chuckled.

"No…but, well, I guess I hadn't really thought much about it but I always thought the guys were either in those little camps or in the cities."

She watched as his expression took on a far away look that she rarely saw. "I was part of a Marine Combined Action Program, or units were platoons, small and mobile. We never had more than fifteen men in the unit but by that last year, we were down to eight. The idea was to train the local PF to fight and then work in the villages, helping with repairs and civic projects… our unit built a small school. One of my buddies, Willie Hayes, and I helped the Trangs with some projects around their place. It really wasn't much more than a hut, but old Mama Trang made us feel at home, except when she was chasing me away from her daughter." He was smiling and Catherine sensed that there were some happy memories tucked in between the horrors of war.

Jim paused and grinned as some memory passed in his mind's eye. Catherine watched and wondered what he was thinking about. "So, this family…the Trangs , you got close to them…especially the daughter."

His blue eyes looked up at her, startled. "Yeah…yeah I guess I did. The oldest son was with the PF and trained with us. He was killed in a skirmish about two months after I got there. I was with Kerr, my sergeant, when he delivered the news to the old man. The younger son wanted to join us then but the father wouldn't allow it. He snuck off and joined a PF unit at a neighboring village. There was a younger son, just a boy…maybe six or seven… and the daughter, An."

The look of hurt and regret that fell across his face as he mentioned her name caught Catherine's attention. There was a story there, she knew. But she waited for him to continue.

"Willie Hayes, one of my buddies, was killed a month before we left," he said sadly. "He was from Memphis and had a soft drawl…not like those imitation Southern accents you hear on TV. He'd sing blues for us and some of the songs coming out of Memphis in those days…sometimes I can still hear him singing; he had a good voice. He saved my ass more than once…"

"I'll bet you saved his a time or two as well," she offered.

Jim looked up at her. "Yeah, I suppose. I was just a kid… scared as hell and just trying to stay alive. We all saved each other a time or two. But there were some we couldn't save…too many," he ended softly.

So there was you and the sergeant, Kerr? And Willie…who else?"

Jim closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "At the end, besides me and Kerr, there was only Savoie, Brown, Cruz, and Conrad. Savoie was from Louisiana and was the life of the party, but he knew how to fight and was a good shot. Brown was from Texas. Sometimes Nick reminds me of him…had that same easy nature and spoke with a twang like Nick does sometimes. Cruz was Native American and Hispanic from Arizona. His hunting and tracking skills helped us more than once. Conrad was from California…real bad ass with a chip on his shoulder. He was the most racist Black man I've ever met.

Another guy, Hector Ruiz was from California too. He'd grown up in L.A. His father took him down and signed him up for the Marines as soon as he was old enough to get him out of there and away from the Hispanic gangs that were popping up. We lost him a week before we left." Jim paused, deep in reflection. "I visited his folks when I went through San Diego, on my way home. His father cried but he said at least his boy died a hero instead of trash in the streets."

Jim shook his head. "To me dead just seemed like dead. Now that I have a kid who probably will die like trash in the streets, I think I know what he meant…but still…." He shrugged and looked up at Catherine. The tears sitting in his eyes weren't unnoticed by her. "I'm sorry, Jim," she said. "I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories."

"They've been surfacing since this case began," he told her.

"What about the girl…An, you said was her name?"

A bittersweet smile crept across his face as he looked back. "I was in love with her…or at least as much as a horny, scared kid can be in love. Wanted to marry her but my CO wouldn't approve it." Old anger resurfaced as he remembered his CO's words. "So I had to leave her behind. Went back in the 90's, when we established relations with Vietnam again and it opened to U.S. travelers. I even went back to the village but she and her family were all gone. One of the villagers told me they'd been relocated by the Communists."

"Do you think you would have …I dunno…rekindled the romance, if she'd still been there?" Catherine was curious.

Jim shook his head. "She probably got married and has a family. Hell, she's probably got grandkids and maybe even great grandkids by now. But it would have been nice to see her again."

"Yeah," Catherine said with a chuckle. "It's always good to see your old flames…see the bullet you dodged."

Jim looked at her contemplatively. "Maybe. But…I'm not sure I'm glad I dodged that bullet." Catherine looked at him speechless. Jim shrugged. "I don't know how things would have turned out, but I've never really forgotten her and… in all honestly, I married Nancy because I was lonely and knew I'd never have An."

Catherine felt her jaw drop, just slightly but still her shock registered with Jim. "What? You think I'm not capable of real love?" he asked jokingly.

"No, I do…I know you are… I mean, you've got a big heart, Jim…behind that tough guy act. But I guess I always thought you really loved your wife and that's why the break-up hit you so hard."

"I did love her…just not enough or in the right way. If I had, I would've been home more and maybe things would have been better between us. Somehow I think she knew it…that I was still in love with somebody else." The corner of his mouth twitched slightly as he continued. "Hell, I think I still am…at least with the girl from 40 years ago. No telling how I'd feel about the woman today."

Catherine chuckled. "She'd probably find you've changed a bit from the what…twenty year old, cocky, kid from Jersey..."

Jim grinned. "Cocky describes me pretty good back then…in a lot of ways," he said with a mischievous gleam in his eye.

Catherine stood to leave, laughing. "Still does…in a lot of ways," she said as she walked out.

* * *

><p><em>"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart,<br>__and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight."_

_Kahlil Gibran _

* * *

><p>As always, your comments are most appreciated.<p> 


	6. Discoveries Bring More Questions

Many thanks to SylvieT for her review on the last chapter. She took my comments about watching out for forensic mistakes and case details to heart and is keeping an eye out for them!

On the subject of reviews: I've noticed a trend. Chapter one had 5, chapter two had 4, three had 3, ...and I think you see where this is going. Does this mean I should have wrapped this up in five chpaters,lol? Doesn't matter, the story is too complex to do that unless I wrote mega chapters. Anyway, here's hoping the trend turns itself around with this one.

* * *

><p>An hour later, they got a hit from the BOLO. The car had been spotted in an area off I-15, near Industrial. There were some abandoned warehouses there and it would make the perfect place to hide the girl. Within minutes, Jim was there with SWAT and some other officers.<p>

The uniforms spread out to search the area while Jim directed the search from a parking lot in the middle of the district. SWAT was on stand-by. Nick wanted to be there as well, since he'd been in on the investigation from the start. He searched with Mitch's team.

Noticing the sun's reflection off of metal between two of the smaller buildings, Nick spotted the car. Apparently the two buildings housed small offices and indoor storage rooms. After searching them, Mitch called for backup to search the much larger building behind them. Nick noticed that Brass was there before any of the others. This case had gotten personal for him in some way.

Jim watched as SWAT surrounded the building. He gave the Commander the "go" and they were in the building within seconds. Following half the team in, his weapon was drawn. They moved along the hallway, searching units to either side. Most were unlocked and easily dismissed.

The other half of the team entered from a door at the far back. They followed the same procedure as Jim's group. Suddenly there was gunfire from an office area in the middle of the building. Two members of the team sided up to the entrance and waited as the others gathered on either side. The commander gave the nod and the man on the left side tossed in a flash grenade and the two leaders charged through. Jim followed as the Swat team poured into the room. It was a large chamber with smaller rooms on either side. There was a bank of windows along the back wall and a door. That's where SWAT caught Sammy Chen and another man. The door was locked. Chen turned to fire at the team and was hit as they returned fire. The other man surrendered immediately. Jim heard the SWAT Commander calling for a bus as he and the other team members fanned out to search further. A call-out sounded from the far corner as two team members stood in the doorway to a room there.

His heart pounding in his chest and grim anticipation flowing through him, Jim passed the two and entered the room. There on the floor was a female body. The face was turned away and from Jim's viewpoint, he couldn't tell if it was a girl or a woman. The body looked emaciated and lay in a pool of blood. Jim groaned inwardly and sighed. Then approaching it slowly, he stepped around to see her face better. As much as this young woman's death frustrated him, he was relieved to see that it was not Mai on the floor. He wiped his hand downward over his face, exhaling as he did. And then anger boiled up and quickly, he headed out of the room towards Chen.

Normally SWAT shot to kill but in this case, they somehow left the suspect alive. He'd taken several rounds, however, and was bleeding heavily. Jim saw immediately that one had entered his chest, not too far from his heart. Two EMTs were working swiftly to try to stabilize him for transport. As Jim looked down at the perp, his feelings were mixed. Chen knew what had happened to the girl, knew where she might be now, so they needed him alive; but a part of Jim wanted to pull the EMTs off and let the SOB bleed to death. But then, maybe that would be too easy, too good of a way for him to die, Jim thought. Let him live…for awhile…

It was obvious Chen wouldn't be talking for awhile so Jim moved to the other suspect. He looked oriental, as well. "Your name," Jim barked. The man, barely more than a boy Jim thought, looked frightened. He looked down at the floor and refused to speak. "Look," Jim growled, "the clock is ticking… I want to know where the girl is and I want to know now."

Jim watched his eyes as they flickered towards the room with the dead woman. And then his eyes went to Chen before looking at the floor again. Mitch was holding him by an arm and had already cuffed him. It was easy for Jim to reach inside the suspect's pocket and pull out a wallet. Opening it, he looked for some ID. Chuckling maliciously, Jim held up a card. "Hey Mitch, looks like we got a real smart one here…says here on his _library_ card that his name is Eddie Chang." Then looking at the perp, Jim asked "you Eddie Chang?"

Mitch squeezed on the suspect's arm and he flinched. Then looking up at Jim with a sideways glance, his eyes flashing anger, he replied. "I'm Ronny. Eddie is my little brother."

Jim snorted. "So Eddie got all the brains in the family, eh? Makes sense… I mean, here you are in police custody and a dead body in the next room… not exactly smart…"

Ronny looked up at him again, clenching his jaw. "I got nothin' to say…except I want a lawyer."

Jim smirked. "Yeah, 'bout the smartest thing you've done so far…lawyering up. Okay…" Then looking at Mitch, he snapped, "get 'em outta here…"

Jim followed the ambulance to the hospital and spoke with the doctor about Chen. He was headed for surgery and the doctor promised to call Jim with an idea of when he could be questioned, if he made it through the surgery.

On his way back to PD, he decided to swing by the Trang house. "I said I'd keep you in the loop," he told Jimmy Trang as the younger man opened the door. "I'm gonna be honest here, we found the guy that took her…or at least we think he's the one, but he's in no shape to talk right now. And his accomplice has asked for a lawyer. He's more afraid of what his bosses back in LA will do to him if he talks than he is of anything we can do. But I'm going to keep with it. I'm not giving up and I don't want you to either."

Trang nodded thoughtfully. "You said these people are from L.A. Do you believe Mai has been taken to LA?"

"It's a possibility," Jim sighed. "And I've alerted LAPD. They're watching the group closely. But my instinct says she's hidden somewhere here. The fact that Chen was still here and …evidence in the building where we found them…. Nothing's concrete, but…"

Trang looked at him with worried eyes. "Thank you, Captain Brass. When we first came to you, I was afraid that you would not give my daughter you're full attention." Jim frowned and looked at him inquiringly. The younger man continued. "It has been my experience that …" Then shrugging, Jimmy Trang looked squarely at Jim, his manner changing. "I am bui doi, child of the dust. I am used to being…overlooked. Even in America. My children look more American …less Vietnamese than I do, but still they have encountered prejudice. The way you spoke to me at our first meeting… I believed I made you uncomfortable; that you saw me as bui doi"

Jim took a deep breath. "No, it's just… you reminded me of when I was in Vietnam…some of the people I met."

"And those are bad memories," Trang said unhappily.

"Not at all…I mean, the war, of course…that was bad. But I met many good people…"Jim watched as Trang eyed him skeptically. "Sometimes I wonder how they are…where they are. I went back but couldn't find any of them."

Jimmy nodded. "I do not remember much about my homeland. I was very small when we left. What I do remember is not pleasant. My mother was moved to a work camp when I was an infant. Later she and her brothers escaped and went to Siagon. It was a dangerous life and when we escaped, left on the boat, it was even more so. But my mother and my uncles have told me stories…that there were some good times, even if they were hard."

Jim looked at the man before him and thought about war and the far reaching consequences. "Yeah..." Jim decided he needed to leave, get back to the investigation. "I need to get back…" They stepped toward the door but Jim stopped. "Just one question though…" he said softly. Jimmy Trang stopped and looked at him, despair in his eyes. "Your father…do you know who he was? Because there are ways to find him, if you know."

Jimmy's eyes hardened. "I do not. My mother used to talk about him when I was small but only to tell me I had his eyes… and that she loved him. Tim told me once that he had promised to go back for her but of course, he never did. She never gave up hope though."

Jim thought about the story. "She never married…. A Vietnamese man, I mean?"

"None would have her after she had shamed herself and her family with the American. Her brothers protected her from the anger of our neighbors but they could only do so much. I remember as a small boy, the other children would throw stones at me and call me names. My mother and I spent most of our time indoors. It was not as bad at the refugee camp but the hatred was still there…and the shame."

Jim's stomach turned as he listened to Trang. "I um….I'm sorry that that happened to you and to your mother. I had heard stories over the years, but I didn't realize…"

Jimmy had an introspective look on his face. "As a child," he said wistfully, "I dreamed that my father would come and take us back to America with him, as he had promised my mother he would do. I believed that he would, as did she. But as I grew older, I understood that it would not happen, that his promises were empty… that he would be ashamed of a Vietnamese son."

The words weighed heavily on Jim. "How can you be so sure? Maybe he tried…maybe he did intend to go back. But even if he didn't, who's to say he'd be ashamed of you."

"There is that saying….the road to hell is paved with good intentions." Jimmy's eyes bored into Jim as he spoke. "I hope my father is in hell," he said vehemently.

The younger man's attitude chilled Jim. "I um…well, I'm sorry," he said.

"It does not matter," Jimmy said coldly.

It was obvious to Jim that Jimmy Trang had years of anger and despair locked inside. "Okay, well… I'm going to talk with the suspect, see if I can get anything else out of him, now that he's had a chance to talk to his attorney. Detective Vega will continue to check in with our techs here and if you think of anything else…and one of us still needs to speak with your mother."

Trang nodded. "Thank you, Captain Brass. I believe that you are trying," he sighed.

Driving back to PD, Jim remembered the "professional" women he'd seen in Saigon when he was there during the war. Sadly he wondered how many had chosen that life and how many had been driven to it by the circumstances. How many had been village girls who'd hooked up with GIs and had paid for it heavily. And then his thoughts turned to An. Had she been forced into that kind of life because of him? As far as they knew, no one in the village knew how heavily involved they had become. He hadn't thought about it at the time, his mind obviously on other things. But he sighed regretfully as he realized what his relationship with An might have cost her. And again, he wished he had been able to find her when he went back. But then, maybe it was better not knowing.

_"Until this moment, I never understood how hard it was to lose something you never had."_

_Anonymous_

* * *

><p>I keep forgetting... There's a new poll on my profile page about what should happen next season. It's all just for fun but sometimes the results are surprising. If you have a few minutes and would like to participate, I'd love to see what you guys think.<p> 


	7. Complications

Need to take a moment to acknowledge Beaujolais. A few months ago when I was pulling the threads to the story together in my head, I asked her what she thought about it. She sent back a well thought out response based on the sotries of people she knows, memories from that period, and some cursory research. She touched on some things I'd thought about but she brought a different angle to it all. And I have kept her thoughts and suggestions in mind as I've molded the story. So while the words are mine, I must give credit to the ultimate Brassfan, Beaujolais, for some insightful input. Thank you, B!

* * *

><p>Back at PD, Jim went to office and closed the door. Chang's lawyer had been called but hadn't shown up yet. Jim was exhausted and as far as he could see, they were no closer to finding the girl. Nick was still at the warehouses going over the scene and Jim knew he'd call if he found anything. Chang was in lock-up, waiting for his lawyer and refusing to say anything to anyone. The doctor had said Chen's surgery could take hours and it would be hours after that before he'd be able to talk, if he even lived that long. And the younger Trang brother wouldn't be back in Vegas until the next day. The ticking of the clock echoed loudly in Jim's ears. He loosened his tie, dimmed the lights, and stretched out on his couch to rest his eyes for a few minutes. Maybe after a power nap he'd be able to think more clearly, he reasoned.<p>

A soft knocking rattled Jim out of his sleep. Sam Vega stood on the other side of his door looking sheepish. "Sorry Jim. But Chang's lawyer is with him now. Thought maybe he'd be ready to interview in a few…"

"Yeah, thanks Sam. I'll um…freshen up a little and check on it. Anything from Nick yet?'

The DB has been identified as Carrie Murphy from L.A. Don't know what her connection to Chen is but I'm following that. Nick said he may have found evidence that the girl, Mai, had been at the warehouse and he and Sanders are going over Chen's car. They found some trace evidence already that is being processed."

"Okay, thanks. I'll find you after I talk to Chang. Oh, and hey…can you try to contact Jimmy Trang's mother? Maybe she knows something. It's a long shot but at this point…"

"Yeah, sure," Sam answered as he walked out.

A few minutes later, Jim sat across the table from the suspect. "Okay, so you got the lawyer," Jim Brass growled at Ronnie Chang while waving his hand across the table at Jared Knowles. "And you and Mr. Knowles have had a chance to talk. So now, talk to me. Mai Trang…where is she?"

Chang slumped in his chair, his head hanging. Knowles sat mute, his hands folded on the table. "Oh come on, she's just a little girl. Your bosses have to know the heat that comes with kidnapping a little girl." Jim paused, frustrated with Chang's lack of response. "Okay, I get it. You don't wanna talk about the operation…your bosses' connections to the Trangs. That's okay; don't talk about that. Let's just talk about the little girl. All I want to know is where the girl is."

Chang glanced nervously at Knowles, who looked at Jim. "What's in it for my client?"

Jim's eyebrow twitched. "Well, I dunno…I'll have to talk to the D.A. But things will go much better for your client if we get the girl back…preferably alive."

Chang's head popped up. "She's alive."

Turning his attention back to the suspect, Jim focused a hard stare at the man. "She is? You're sure?"

"Yes. We did not know she would be there… at Trang's. It was Sammy's idea to take the kid. He thought…" Chang gulped and then continued. "… he thought we could get a ransom but then he was told …. He decided not to do that."

"Okay, good. So where is she?"

Chang looked towards Knowles again. "My client needs assurances…"

"So what are we looking at here?" Jim asked. "Cause I can tell you, the D.A. isn't going to go for any deal that doesn't include jail time."

The attorney thought for a moment. "Manslaughter on Trang and reckless endangerment for the girl," he stated. "Oh, and time to be served in a secure facility….let's just say my client will need some protection."

Jim studied the man intently. _What? Is this guy crazy? No way the D.A. will agree…_"I can't promise that. I can probably get the secure facility and maybe a lesser charge on Trang's murder, but kidnapping on the girl most likely…maybe conspiracy to kidnap. And that's if we find her alive."

"Why don't you take it to your D.A? " Knowles offered. "It's not like Mr. Chang is going anywhere."

"Yeah, but the clock's ticking on the girl…" Jim emphasized.

Knowles smirked and Chang leaned back in his chair, still mute. Jim stared at the pair, unsure which one disgusted him more. "I'll give the D.A a call…" Then stepping into the hall, Jim pulled out his cell and dialed the number.

After a brief conversation in which Jim reminded the D.A. that the little girl was in danger, the man finally compromised. Closing his phone, Jim headed back into the interview room. "D.A. says that if we find the girl alive, he'll only press conspiracy charges on the kidnapping. As for the murder, all he'll promise is that he won't seek the death penalty. He wants more facts before he decides on that one. And he'll agree to added security for Chang in prison."

Knowles looked at his client and shrugged. "It's better than what you'll get in front of a jury," he said. "And if the girl dies…you'll get the needle."

Chang looked down for a moment and then up at Jim. "She is with Sammy's cousin."

"Okay, okay…that's good," Jim said quickly. "So this cousin….he have a name?"

"She…her name is Lily Chen."

"A woman? Okay. So where do I find this Lily Chen?"

"I…" Chang hesitated. "I'm not sure. Sammy told her to take the girl to Las Angeles, to Mr. Wong."

"Wong… Daniel Wong?" Jim asked. "How they travelling, Ronny? Car? Bus? What?"

"I…I think she took a car. She….she showed up at Trang's apartment just before…. Sammy gave the girl to her then but sh…she didn't leave Vegas until later." Chang was clearly nervous about talking.

"When did she leave? Come on Ronny, this is your chance to help yourself here…"

"I don't know exactly…about twenty, maybe thirty minutes before you came to the warehouse. Lily was going to the hotel to get her things and then head for L.A."

"What hotel, Ronny?"

"The um, the Ho-Jo near the Strip. We all had rooms there."

Sirens blared behind him as Jim drove in the direction of the hotel. Odds were that Lily Chen and the girl were gone, already on the road to L.A. but maybe they'd get lucky. Glancing in his rearview mirror, Jim saw Nick and Greg in the SUV behind him. Maybe they would come with something.

A quick conversation with the desk clerk revealed that Lily had stayed in Room 103 but she'd checked out about an hour ago. Jim took the license number from the hotel registry card, but he knew she might have used a fake number. Still, it was something.

As the uniforms cleared the room for Stokes and Sanders, Jim called in the plates. Then he checked on the rooms for the other two, Chen and Chang. While Lily's room had been cleared out, all personal belongings gone, the other two still had clothes and other signs of the occupants. Satisfied that Nick had things under control at that location, Jim headed back to PD.

"I've already called the FBI," Conrad Ecklie told him as he walked into his office. "The Vegas office is working with the LA office on it. They are taking charge of the case."

Jim looked at the Under-Sheriff and grunted. "It happened here; it's our case. I'll cooperate with the FBI but this is _my_ case," Jim emphasized.

"Look Jim, I know that you're really involved in this one but if the girl was taken to L.A. then it's out of our hands."

"You wanna tell that to the Trangs. 'Cause he doesn't really trust us already. And I can promise you, he's seriously not going to trust the FBI with this."

Ecklie studied Jim closely. "Well since you seem to have established a rapport with him, maybe you should tell him."

Jim put his hand up as a warning. "No way. I'm not delivering that news. The guy already suspects that we aren't giving this case our full attention." Jim glared at his superior, his facial muscles working as he clenched his jaw shut before saying more. Then as he calmed, he shrugged. "Do what you need to do, Conrad, but I'm going to interview Chang again to see where in L.A. they might be headed. And then I'm going to L.A."

"Brass," Ecklie huffed. Jim frowned angrily. "Jim," Ecklie said softer. "Look, I'll….okay, I'll approve you going to L.A. and I'll notify the FBI. Go home; get some sleep while I make the arrangements. But the FBI has the lead. Understood?"

"Yeah, sure," Jim said as he charged out of his office. Conrad Ecklie stood in the doorway wondering what it was about this case that had Brass so wound up. "And just when I thought he was beginning to mellow…" he said quietly to the empty hallway.

Back in the interrogation room, Jim sat across from Chang. "Where would she take the girl?" His tone was sharp and menacing.

"I…I don't know."

"Oh come on, Ronny. You really expect me to believe you don't have any idea?"

"I don't know Lily. I always met Sammy when he wanted me to …help." Jim's hard stare was cowering the younger man. "We…we met at Dragons' Lair. He would c…call me and …I'd meet him. I don't know anything about….who he worked for. He would just call me and then pay me in cash."

"Dragons' Lair…what's that?"

"It's a … like a club or a bar in Los Angeles.

After leaving the interview room, Brass headed back to his office. He slowed up as he approached, seeing two people making themselves comfortable there. Everything about them screamed FBI.

He entered cautiously. "I'm Jim Brass," he informed them. _Who the hell are you?_ He wanted to add but instead, he waited for them to introduce themselves. The man rose but the woman remained seated.

"Captain Brass, I'm Special Agent Eric Hightower; this is my associate Agent Mary Jankowski. We're from the FBI."

"Yeah, I got that. So how can I help you?" Jim already knew but he didn't want them assuming anything… like assuming they could just waltz in and take over his case.

"We're here about Mai Trang, her kidnapping. The murder is clearly your turf but kidnapping, especially over state lines, becomes ours."

"We don't know she's been taken out of the state," Jim said irritably.

"No, we don't but as I understand things, it is a strong possibility."

"Possibility? Yeah, sure. It's possible Jimmy Hoffa is alive and well; but where's the proof?"

"Look, Captain Brass…Jim, the Under Sheriff said you might not welcome our involvement in this investigation, but I'll tell you like I told him. This is our case now. Your lab can still process the evidence and you can be a part of the investigation, but we're taking the lead."

Jim grunted. "And all the credit no doubt, if we find the girl alive."

Hightower bent and picked up his portfolio from the chair. As he lifted the item, Agent Jankowski stood up. "I'm sorry Captain Brass," she said quietly. "This case seems important to you; we just want what you want, to find the girl."

Jim studied the woman before relaxing his stance. "Yeah, you're right; we all want the same thing in the end…"

"I understand you are going to Las Angeles?" she asked.

Nodding, Jim said that he was.

"We'll keep following the leads here then," Hightower told him. "And perhaps our field office there can be of some assistance."

Jim watched them leave and tried to quell the rumble in his gut. Things had just gotten a lot more complicated from his view. On the other hand, if the girl had been taken across state lines, having the FBI involved could make things easier.

As he drove home, Jim's mind began to wander again, back to Vietnam.

"_Jimmy, soon you'll be home and this will all be a bad dream," Kerr told him._

"_Sure," he answered._

"_No, seriously. When I went home last time, I forgot all about this place. Had two wonderful years stateside before they sent me back." Kerr took another drag on his cigarette and blew the smoke out slowly. "It's been different this time around. Before, we actually thought we were accomplishing something, but now… I dunno, they're just playing games."_

"_Doesn't feel like a game," he said somberly._

"_No, when you're a pawn, it never does. Look Jimmy, just concentrate on staying alive. I know you're hung up on that girl, but you ain't gonna do nobody no good if you get killed. Think about your family back home; concentrate on them. You gotta let the girl go…"_

"_But…"_

"_Yeah, I know; you love her. But you're young kid; you'll find somebody else to love. First you gotta get the hell out of here though."_

_He looked off into the distance, watching as a flock of birds landed in one of the fields. Days like this it seemed so peaceful, like there was no war at all…_

_The next day they lost Hector Ruiz. Out on patrol, they'd come across a small VC unit. The skirmish didn't last long, the enemy retreating into the forest. And when it was over, they turned around in time to see Ruiz go down. He never got up._

* * *

><p><em>Youth is the first victim of war; the first fruit of peace. It takes 20 years or more of peace to make a man; it takes only 20 seconds of war to destroy him.<em>_"_

_Baudouin_

* * *

><p>Okay, I know it is there. Ah, there it is, down there on the left...yeah, the little button. We've reversed the trend, now let's keep it going up;)<p> 


	8. Denial and Acceptance

Watching The Two Mrs. Grissoms. I love Marlee Maitlin...always.

Anyway, it has inspired me to polish up this chpater and get it posted. Well, that and the fact that expectations for reviews were exceeded on the last one, lol

Happy reading!

* * *

><p>"<em>I'm being sent home on leave. I'll be gone about three weeks…"<em>

_Tears sat in her eyes as she looked at him. "You not come back."_

"_Yes, I will. This is emergency leave…because of my grandmother. There was talk about me being reassigned to Pendleton but I said I wanted to come back." A chuckle rumbled from his chest. "Guess they don't get many volunteers 'cause the sergeant looked at me like I'm crazy. I promise, I'll be back."_

"_But you go home and see pretty white girls and when you come back…" her soft sob made his chest tighten. _

"_No, no…no way. I've seen them before, remember? And none of them…they don't…oh sweetheart, they just don't make me feel like you do. I love you, you know that, right?"_

"_You will come back… to me?" She asked as she looked at him hopefully._

_His hand went to her face, cradling it. And he looked into her eyes, his heart breaking at the sight of her tears. She hadn't answered him. "You know I love you, don't you?" he said more forcefully. _

_She nodded that she did, but it was unconvincing. "I just know I love you," she said tentatively. _

"_You'll see…when I come back, you'll see…"_

Jim grunted in his sleep and shifted his position on the couch.

"_You're going back?" his mother cried in disbelief. Looking at him over the dinner table, she was aghast. "You volunteered?"_

"_Yes Mom. I volunteered. What we're doing in that village…it's a good thing."_

"_But you've already been there a year and in some horrible places. We see it on the news…how horrible the fighting is."_

"_But Mom, the people in the village…"_

"_Got along just fine without you before and they will be fine without you now…" She wiped her hands on her apron nervously. "I just don't understand."_

_His father looked at him skeptically. "What's this about Jimmy? You went kicking and screaming into the Marines and now you can't wait to go back. Your grandmother's funeral was just yesterday and today you want to go back…"_

_Looking at his father, he struggled to find an answer that would satisfy them. "It's just… I am making a difference; oh, not in a big way but…those people have been bombed and had mortar rounds fired into the heart of the village. They grow crops and then the enemy comes through and steals the food. But they keep trying. They just want some peace and my unit provides enough protection so they get some."_

_His father shook his head, not accepting the explanation. He looked across at his older brother, who smiled at him. "Is she pretty?"_

_He frowned and shook his head, not wanting the conversation to go there. But his mother always picked up on those kinds of things and was beside him immediately. "You've met a girl? One of them? Oh Jimmy… You know they are diseased. Don't you even…"_

_Jumping up from his chair, he lost his temper. "Look, they are not. And it is really none of your business and… just because you don't know someone…because they are different, come from a different place... Oh to hell with it," he exclaimed as he threw his napkin on the table. "I should've just stayed. You don't know what it's like over there and what those people have to deal with and…" He turned and stormed out, realizing that he was only upsetting his mother more._

"_Son," his father said softly as he approached him on the back porch. _

_He looked up at his father's lined face, his dark blue eyes showing his concern…and maybe a little understanding. "I'm sorry, Dad. It's just…"_

"_It's okay…but you will need to apologize to your mother." The older man sat down on the wicker chair next to his. "Is there a girl, Jimmy?"_

_Slowly he nodded. _

"_Yeah, kinda thought so." He let out a deep sigh. "When I was in the Pacific… well, there was this one island where we were stationed for awhile. And I met a girl… Home seemed so far away and I wasn't even sure I would ever get back. And she was pretty and …" A faraway expression crept into his eyes as he smiled. "…well, I was pretty smitten. By the way, your Mom doesn't know and I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything. She wouldn't understand."_

_He looked at his father and nodded, affirming that he wouldn't say anything. "You ever think about her, Dad? How things might have been…"_

_The older man sighed. "Think about her? Yeah, from time to time. When I was younger it was, well …in a horny kind of way. Now that I'm older, it's a bitter sweet memory. But I knew how it would turn out if I brought her back, not that the Navy would have let me bring her back anyway. She wouldn't have been accepted …not by the town, not by my family…not at all. I've known guys who brought back Pacific women after the war; it didn't go well. And you kids… it would have been hell for you too."_

"_But times are different. Surely…"_

"_Times may be different, son. But scratch below the surface and people never really change all that much. You go back and do what you need to do…what you think is right. And if you do bring the girl home, I'll support you. But don't count on your mom, or anyone else in the family for that matter."_

_He nodded that he understood. "It's just… she's so beautiful. And I love her so much," he said desperately._

_His father looked at him wisely. "You gotta ask yourself if that love will hold up against the reality of coming back home."_

"_Then…we'll find someplace else to live," he said definitively. _

"_Like I said, do what you gotta do…just be sure it is for the right reasons." His father said as he stood to walk away._

_He looked up gratefully. "Thanks Dad…for at least understanding."_

"_It's my job, son."_

Jim woke, still exhausted. Shaking off the dream, he trudged through the house to the bathroom, and then decided to head for bed. He hadn't intended to fall asleep on the couch; he'd just collapsed there when he got home.

As he settled back down and began to relax, he thought about the Trangs. True to Sally Trang's warning, Mama Trang wasn't talking to anyone. Sam had even driven over to her place to try to talk face to face. She'd slammed the door in his face, yelling something in Vietnamese that he couldn't understand. After hearing part of what she'd said, Brian Trinh said it was a good thing Vega didn't understand. Frustrated with Sam's report, Jim had headed home to get some sleep before heading west.

Grumpily, he grumbled in the dark about the FBI. He knew that Ecklie had to make the call but Jim didn't want them pushing him out of the case. This one was personal for him. He wasn't sure why, but it was. Rolling over he mumbled as he drifted off, "screw the FBI…and screw Ecklie."

"_You came back," she said laughing with happiness._

"_Told you I would," he grinned foolishly. "And I've been thinking…"_

"_What you been thinking, Jimmy Brass?"_

"_I want us to get married, An."_

_She looked at him with those beautiful eyes, so trusting. "Really? You sure? You take me with you to America?"_

"_I'm very sure," he told her confidently. "I thought about you the whole time I was gone. I want us to be together."_

"_But...what about your family?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_Your family will…like me?" _

_Looking into her eyes, something inside began to melt. He loved her, even more than he thought before. "I talked to my Dad. He said he understood…that he'd stand by my decision."_

"_And your mother?"_

_Full of youthful confidence, he smiled. "She'll come to love you as much as I do," he said naively. "I'll speak to your father…and then I have to get my Captain's approval. But after that…"_

"_I love you, Jimmy Brass."_

Jim woke, tears streaming down his face. "I love you too," he whispered into the darkness.

After a quick shower, he dressed and was packing a go bag for his trip to L.A. His phone rang and he recognized Sam Vega's name on the caller ID.

"Jim, Trang took off," Sam Vega told him through the piece.

"Trang? You mean Jimmy Trang?"

"Yeah. His wife said he got a call and he left right after. She's not sure but she thinks it was from his uncle….Guy."

"Any idea where he's headed?" Jim asked with a sinking feeling.

"No. But his wife said Guy was supposed to land in L.A. a few hours ago. He had a connecting flight to Vegas but he wasn't on it."

"Maybe he caught a later flight?" Jim was struggling to wrap his mind around it.

"I called the airlines and there's no Guy Trang or any other Trang on any flights from L.A. to Vegas. The guy landed in L.A. but did not board his plane an hour later."

"Yeah, okay….I got it." Jim thought for a moment. "Five'll get ya ten Jimmy's on his way to L.A. Something's up with Uncle Guy; this whole thing feels hinky to me."

"So, you want me to get ready for a trip to L.A?"

"I'm going. You stay here and babysit the rest of the family. We don't need anymore of them disappearing. Get all of them to safety in a place where you can keep them under your thumb."

"Okay, gotcha. See you in a few…"

Jim turned and grabbed his bag before heading out the door. Ecklie was waiting for him when he got to PD. "Vega says you think Jimmy Trang went to L.A."

"Yeah. Guy got off a plane there and didn't get on his connecting flight. Now, Jimmy's gone…. It's gotta be."

"I agree," the Under-Sheriff said as he nodded. "I'm sending Nick with you. And I've already talked to the Chief there. You'll have a detective working with you." Jim opened his mouth to request his friend, Annie Kramer but was stopped by Ecklie's raised hand. "And it won't be your friend Captain Kramer. The Sheriff doesn't want a repeat of your last adventure with her in Los Angeles."

Jim looked at him stunned. "But this is different…"

"Doesn't matter, Jim. You'll have a detective but it will be up to the L.A. to decide who."

Recognizing defeat, Jim sighed. "Yeah, okay." _I'll call her anyway when I get there…_

"And don't forget to contact the L.A. FBI office when you get there…" Ecklie called out to Jim's back as he left.

Having Nick along made the drive easier. Ecklie had tried to fly them over but the flights were booked until the next day so they were actually going to get there quicker by driving. As he drove, Jim's mind wandered back to the last time he'd made the drive, when he'd gone to see about Ellie after her friend had disappeared. That had been a disaster. Hopefully this trip would have better results.

Glancing over at Nick, Jim chuckled. The CSI was dozing in the dark car, his head nodding in different directions with each curve or bump in the road. Nick had been working the case as hard and hadn't gotten much sleep either; Jim was glad that he was in on the trip."

They drove into the city with the sun rising behind them. Nick helped Jim follow the GPS directions to the police precinct that they'd been instructed to report to. They parked and walked into the Central Police Station. Jim showed his badge to the receptionist and asked to speak to the station chief. A few minutes later Captain Russell Todd walked out and introduced himself.

"I've assigned Adam Liu to your case. He's already been out to the airport but there wasn't much to find. He did get the security tapes and our lab found your man, Trang leaving the building. He got in a cab and headed out. Liu is tracking down the cab."

"So, anything you can tell us about Daniel Wong's operation?" Jim asked.

"Well, he's behind a lot of the mischief around here but the FBI really has more than we do about him. I can tell you that you won't get any help out of Chinatown or the other Asian communities. They're all afraid of him."

"Well, our two suspects back in Vegas are tied to him. They wouldn't have killed Tim Trang and snatched his niece without Wong telling 'em to. Lily Chen had the girl last and we think she headed back here."

"You could be right. But Liu knows this guy better than I do. If anyone can help you find the girl, it's him."

"And the other two Trangs?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, them too. Meantime, make yourselves comfortable until Liu gets back."

"Actually, we need to get checked in at the hotel and grab a bite. How long you think Liu will be?"

"An hour…maybe two," the Captain told them.

"Okay then…we'll be back," Jim assured him before the two left his office.

* * *

><p><em>Dreaming men are haunted men.<em>_  
><em>_Stephen Vincent Benet_


	9. Stirring Things Up

Many thanks for the reviews on the last chappie! Hope you enjoy the trip, lol.

* * *

><p>The Vegas pair checked in at the Econo Lodge near the police station. "Boy, Ecklie sure treats us right, " Nick commented sarcastically as Brass handed him the key card to his room."<p>

Jim shrugged. "Budget's tight," he said in a gravely voice. "Just be glad we don't have to share a room."

Nick grinned. "Yeah, I bet you snore," he chuckled.

Jim frowned at him, his faux hurt look on his face. "What? And you don't?"

The two three their bags in the rooms and then met in the hallway to head out again. "I saw a diner on the way over here," Nick offered.

"Sounds good," Jim responded. "But you drive. I've got a call to make."

"You letting me drive the Brassmobile?" Nick asked good humouredly.

Jim smirked. "Don't let it go to your head," he said as he tossed the keys to the CSI.

"Kramer," Annie answered Jim's call once they were in the car.

"Hey Annie, it's Jim."

"Jim? Jimmy…as in Brass," she replied happily. "How ya doing?"

"Okay…you?"

"I'm good. Busy, but good. It's good to hear your voice though. I've um…well, there's a flag on Ellie; I'm supposed to get a call if… did something happen I don't know about?"

"Uh, not that I know of…at least in that department. I um, well…I'm back in L.A. Working a murder-kidnapping case."

"Oh. I didn't know. Why didn't you…I mean, I can help if you need me to."

"Thanks," he said smiling. "My Sherriff didn't want a repeat of the last time so your Captain Todd over at Central set me up with Adam Liu. You know him?"

"Adam, yeah…kinda. He works Chinatown. Word is he's good but I've never worked with him. Has a reputation as a straight arrow, so you two should be okay."

"Good. This one seems to lead back to Chinatown, so it's good to hear this guy can handle it."

"Oh yeah; he doesn't have a problem taking on the muscle there. Or so I've heard. So, am I gonna see ya while you're in town?"

"Well, yeah; I hope so. Depends on how long it takes the brass to shut me down this time."

Her laughter was muffled. "Yeah, you do have a way…"

"Okay, well…I'll call you, okay?"

"Yeah. I'd like that," she said warmly.

Nick pulled into the parking lot at the diner and the two men headed in.

"You got friends here?" Nick asked once their food had arrived.

"Huh? Oh…yeah. Annie Kramer from back in Jersey. We worked together for awhile and she helped me when I was here a few years back. You remember…Warrick helped me too."

"Oh yeah…with your daughter."

"Right." Jim said as he cut into his chicken.

"So, you going to call her too?" Nick asked cautiously.

Jim stopped chewing and glanced up at his friend. Nick's expression didn't seem like he was trying to pry, more like his Texas friendly. "No," Jim said bluntly.

"Oh, okay. I …well, I wasn't tryin' to…you know," Nick replied, obviously flustered.

"Yeah I know," Jim answered gruffly. "There wouldn't be any point. I'm here for the case, that's all," he told the CSI. Nick nodded and concentrated on his plate, wondering when the last time Jim had actually seen his daughter was. Of course, can't blame him, Nick thought; she's nothing but trouble…

Liu was waiting for them when they got back to the Central Station. "Traced the cab," he told them once they were settled around a table in one of the rooms. Trang was dropped at the Dragon's Lair. It's a…"

"Kind of a club, with a bar and all," Jim chimed in.

"Yeah," Liu confirmed, looking at Jim a little annoyed. 'Anyway, I asked around there and of course nobody remembers seeing him."

Jim nodded, understanding what the detective was up against. "So now what?" Just then Nick's phone rang. He stood up and walked to the corner of the room to talk quietly on the phone.

Liu shrugged. "I did get a line on Chen and his cousin. She's Wong's ex. I 'm not sure what is going on here but my sources say she and Wong can't stand each other; no way she's working for him."

Jim frowned. "So what's going on here? Chang seemed to think Chen was working for Wong. Did Lily barge in on the party uninvited or were she and Charlie working on their own all along?"

"Don't know," Liu said. "But we're working on that. One of our guys is over talking to Lily's sister now. Maybe she knows where Lily is. And Captain Todd had a conversation with the local FBI office. Until we know for sure that the girl is here, they are leaving it in our laps."

Nick returned to the table, closing his phone. "That was Greg. There were some hairs in the warehouse; he ran them and there is a familial match to Jimmy Trang. It's a female, so it's probably the girl. Also, they found a phone number in Carrie Murphy's jeans. It's a L.A. number." He handed the slip to Liu who looked at it thoughtfully.

"I'll run this number," he said as he got up to walk out. Then turning he asked, "But who is this Carrie Murphy?"

Jim answered, "We found her dead in the warehouse with Chen and Chang. The girl had been there but Lily had taken her by then."

Liu nodded and then left the room. Jim turned to Nick and tilted his head. "Okay, so what are you not saying?"

"Murphy and Chen are related," Nick said somberly.

Jim furrowed his eyebrows. "So Murphy is related to the Chens and they might be working for Wong but given the history, probably not; especially since Lily is involved."

"Or maybe Charlie was and Lily saw an opportunity to mess with Wong."

Jim's eyebrow rose. "If that's the case, she's playing with fire and the girl is in an even worse place, caught in the middle of all this."

"And where are Guy and Jimmy Trang?"

Jim looked at Nick speculatively. "I could use a drink, how about you?"

Nick look askance at the Captain. "Sure…I think," he replied, bewildered.

A few minutes later, Nick knew exactly where Jim's mind was. They were sitting in the detective's car outside the Dragon's Lair. "I'm not so sure this is a good idea," Nick told Jim uneasily.

"It'll be okay. We're just a couple of guys in town on business and taking in Chinatown, got it?"

"Okay…" Nick said as he climbed out of the car. "But I got a bad feeling about this."

They walked into the club and were greeted by a large Asian man with an expression that said 'bite me'. Nick looked up into the man's face and what he saw made him even more nervous. But Jim, his eyes square on the man's chest, walked right up to him. "You got a table?" he asked in a heavy Jersey accent and attitude that both worried and amused Nick.

The big man looked down at Jim, a sinister smile on his face. "Depends on who wants one."

Jim turned to Nick. "See Nicky, I told ya, it's the same all over tha place. East coast, west coast…it's all the same." Then pulling out a twenty, Jim waved at the man's face. "Mr. Jackson and friends are thirsty and just want a drink. Then we gotta get back to tha meetings…"

The large man shrugged and yanked the bill out of Jim's hand. "Bar okay?"

Jim nodded and walked toward the long bar along the side wall. Nick followed him, smirking at Brass' bravado. Once they were seated at the bar, Nick leaned over and asked, "What were you going to do if bribery didn't work?"

"Bribery always works with these goons," Jim replied softly. "But if it didn't, we'd leave."

"Okay…good, cause I didn't see you taking that one down,"

Jim chuckled. "What, you didn't have my back?"

"You kiddin'; I'd be pulling you backwards out the door."

Jim grinned. "So what do you see," he asked, his eyes scanning the room.

"Nothing special. There's a cocktail waitress over in the corner, taking a load off. And your big Chinaman over by the door. The bartender is heading our way."

"And the glass at the back?" Jim observed. "That's not a mirror; we're being watched. I can feel it."

They ordered drinks and Jim threw another bill on the counter to pay for it. "How you going to explain that to Ecklie?" Nick chuckled as he watched the bartender snatch it up.

"Hey…expenses. Besides, we get a per diem. It's covered."

Nick noticed that Jim's eyes, although seemed to be looking at him, were scanning the room, flashing back and forth between him and different area of the room. Jim was in full detective mode, his observation skills at work. "You trying to memorize the joint?"

Brass nodded as his eyes once again passed across the room. "Might be useful later."

"Do you always go to new places looking for trouble?" Nick asked jokingly.

"Don't have to. Trouble has a way of finding me," Jim said as his eyes finally settled back on Nick. "Finish your drink. I've seen what I needed to see."

"But we're on duty," Nick started to argue.

"Right now they are suspicious. If you don't finish that drink," he said as he knocked his back, "they'll know something is wrong and we'll have to fight our way out of here."

Nodding, Nick picked up his drink and downed it. "Okay." The two men stood and Jim looked at Nick. "Ready to go get your ass chewed?" he said loudly.

Catching on, Nick grimaced. "But I didn't do anything wrong. It was all that bitch's fault," he whined.

"Doesn't matter," Jim said as he started for the door. "She's got your ass in the sling and you're about to loose part of it."

"I know, but it's just not fair."

"Like I keep telling ya Nicky, life ain't fair." And with that he ushered the younger man outside. They climbed in Jim's car and drove away.

"Okay, what was that all about?" Nick asked.

"Just checking out the opponent's arena," Jim said calmly. "Got know what kind of ice we're skating on here."

"And?"

"And I'd say we are in deep shit. Hopefully, Liu has something to help us though."

Back at the police station, they looked for Liu and found him at his desk. "Where'd you guys go?" Liu asked annoyed.

"Just seeing the sights," Jim replied. "You find anything?"

"Yeah. The phone number is one of the lines at the Dragon's Lair. It's not the main business line, so I'm guessing it's Wong's office. Also, your Carrie Murphy is one of Wong's ex girlfriends. Rumor has it he was banging her while he was married to Lily Chen."

Jim's brows shot up at that one. "Whoa. That's a surprise."

"Yeah. And supposedly she's Charlie Chen's cousin on his mother's side."

Nick shifted his weight, thinking. "So… Charlie was in between two female cousins who weren't related to each other but both were getting' it on with Daniel Wong…"

"Yeah." Liu added. "As much as Lily hates Wong, she hates Murphy more."

Jim sighed heavily, swiping the back of his neck. "So where do the Trang's fit into all of this?"

"Murphy is Guy Trang's sister-in-law," Liu added smugly.

Jim's eyes widened. "Sally Trang and Carrie Murphy are sisters?"

"They are," the detective replied.

Jim turned to Nick but the CSI was already pulling out his phone. "I'm on it," he told Jim.

"Yeah Greg, it's me. Look, I need you to get a DNA sample from Sally Trang and run a comparison to Carrie Murphy." Nick listened a moment and then smiled into the phone. "Ah come on, you wouldn't want me to ruin the surprise, would you?"

He listened and then replied again. "Okay, just call me when it's done. Thanks Greggo."

Jim turned his attention back to Detective Liu. "So who's got the kid?"

"I don't know," Adam Liu answered.

Jim frowned. "Okay,…okay…So, Carrie was in bed with Wong….and Wong was pressuring the Trang brothers to do business with him. From what we know of the two, Tim was most likely to say no; Guy was an easy mark. Carrie's got an in and he's into drugs anyway. So all they had to do was to convince Tim…"

"Or get him out of the way," Nick threw in.

Brass nodded. "And when he wouldn't cave, they killed him. The girl, Mai, happened to be there. Chang says it was Chen's idea to take her. So where does Lily come into the picture?"

"Maybe she heard about it and saw a chance to get Wong…screw with his operation," Nick offered.

"Right….and we've already thought that. So she shows up, calls Charlie, 'hey cous…' and finds out where they are. But how does Carrie end up at the warehouse?"

Nick considered the options. "Maybe Wong wanted her to find out what was going on. Chen was her cousin too…"

"Yeah, okay….so Wong sends her….and suddenly Charlie Chen is in the middle."

Yeah, or maybe Sally calls her sister and wants to know what is going on?" Nick supplied "So then what?" Nick asked. "Carrie shows up at the same times as Lily and Lily pops her?"

"Yeah, that's possible," Jim said contemplatively. "And then what….Lily takes off with the kid and leaves Charlie holding the bag?"

"Makes sense to me," Adam replied as he turned to answer the phone on his desk that was ringing.

Jim and Nick continued to roll the possibilities in their heads while they watched Liu on the phone. After a short conversation, he hung up and turned back to the two from Las Vegas. "You by any chance go by the Dragon's Lair today?"

Jim shrugged. "What if we did?"

"Cause I've had a guy watching the place. You must have shaken something up because he just saw them hauling a man out that matches Guy Trang's description."

"Alive?" Jim asked.

"Yeah, my guy says he was walking but barely. Looks like he's had a beating or two. Andy followed them to a house a few blocks away. Feel like going for a ride?"

"Yeah," Jim said as he fell into step with Adam Liu, Nick following closely behind.

* * *

><p><em>Chance is always powerful. Let your hook be always cast; in the pool where you least expect it, there will be a fish.<em>

_Ovid_


	10. One Step Forward Gets Ya Nowhere

So glad to see that you are still along for the ride! Many thanks again to all who use the little button below to review or add to favs or for alerts. It is probably pretty obvious by now that I love the character of Jim Brass and while these little fantasies would be rumbling in my brain no matter what, it's you guys using the button that keep me at the keyboard. Happy reading.

* * *

><p>Several patrol units met them in front of the bungalow style house a few blocks away. Once everyone was in place, Adam Liu went to the door and knocked, called out "LAPD" and then he and Jim headed through the door.<p>

Inside, the huge man from the Dragon's Lair met them. Luckily, Nick thought as he stood just inside the door, Liu had brought an equally large patrolman with him. As the big Asian took a swing at Liu, the large cop hit him squarely in the gut doubling the man over. Liu had cuffs on him before the man knew what had happened.

Other uniforms entered from the back and made their way through the house. As Liu's patrolman took the big one out, Adam and Jim started down the hall.

"In here," they heard one of the others call out. Nick followed Jim to the second door on the right. They found a man who'd obviously been beaten, lying on a bed. He was unconscious. Nick could hear one of the patrolmen calling for an ambulance. Liu knelt and felt for a pulse. "He's alive," he said as he turned to Jim.

Jim stood over the bed, looking down at the battered man. "Fits the description for Guy Trang," Jim said softly. Disgust resonated in his voice.

Slowly they made their way through the rest of the house. Nick cringed as he saw patrolmen everywhere and none wearing gloves. He heard Adam calling for CSU and saw Jim glance his way. "Mind if Nick gets a head start?" Jim asked.

Liu glanced over at Nick and nodded. "Yeah, sure…." It was all Nick needed to hear. Hurriedly, he retrieved his kit from Jim's car and got to work, photographing everything he saw.

Reaching into Nick's kit, Jim pulled out a pair of gloves and after slipping them on, he began rummaging through the room, looking for clues. Liu looked at Jim speculatively. Nick caught the L.A. detective's expression out of the corner of his eyes and grinned. "Hey Jim, I don't think Liu believes you know what you're doing."

Jim looked up from a drawer he'd just pulled open and grimaced. "Hey, I might be a little rusty, but I think I can remember how to put on gloves." The not so subtle hint registered with Liu, who began to clear the house of all but the necessary personnel and the ones that were left were told to don gloves. Then walking over to Brass, Liu peered into the drawer. "You and Stokes seem to work together pretty good…" he inquired.

Jim looked over Liu's shoulder at Nick and smirked. "Ought to; I helped train him."

"Yeah," Nick chimed in, "but he was a terrible boss. I like it better this way."

Lifting something out of the drawer, Jim cut off Liu's next question. "Hey, I got a key," Jim said. "It looks like a residential lock." Stepping past the other detective, Jim walked through the house to the front door. Trying the key in the door, Jim grunted. "Not this lock…"

Nick looked down at the key that Jim was holding. "Another house maybe?"

Brass looked across at Liu. "You know how many houses this guy owns?"

"Two that we know of. But this one isn't his in his name. He's probably got houses all over the place that aren't in his name."

Just then, they heard on of the uniforms call from the backyard. Liu, followed by Jim, headed through the house and out the back. The uniform, an officer Hawkins, pointed inside the garage. "There's a locked door in there. I think it goes upstairs." They all looked up to see that the garage did indeed have a second floor, although it appeared to be a short one.

They walked in and Liu tried the door. "Yeah…locked," he moaned. Jim tilted his head sideways and then looked down at the key he had slipped into his pocket. "Try this," he said as he handed it to Liu.

Adam slipped it into the lock and turned it. "Good call," he told Brass as the door opened. Drawing their guns, the three men made their way up a narrow flight of stairs.

The men had to stoop as they stopped at the top, their eyes adjusting to the dim light. Hawkins pulled out a flashlight and began to scan the space. It was dusty and had a musky feel to it with light filtering in through a dirty window at the far in. Low shelves lined one wall with various tools and bottles of chemicals collecting dust. The other walls had three sets of shackles hanging loosely that were obviously newer than the shelves. Jim grimaced as he noticed what seemed to be blood spatters along the wall.

At the end there appeared to be a pile of old blankets. All three men were surprised by a painful moan and sudden movement from the pile. The two detectives eased closed while Hawkins held back, covering their backs. Jim reached the blankets first and carefully pulled the corner down until a face appeared. "Damn," he exclaimed as he recognized the face of Jimmy Trang. "Why the hell are they here…why did they come here?"

Liu turned and nodded to Hawkins, who called for an ambulance. Then he turned back to the younger Trang. "Looks like he's been roughed over pretty good too."

Jim growled. "Yeah." Then letting out a sigh, he scanned the rest of the garage attic. "Okay, so we've found Guy and Jimmy. But where's the girl? If they had the two men here… seems like they would've had them all in the same place."

"Maybe you were right. Maybe Lily took the girl on her own. Maybe Guy and Jimmy thought Wong had her and came after him."

Clinching his jaw and gritting his teeth, Jim was thinking grim thoughts. "Yeah, so we're no closer to her than we were to start."

"Well, we know where she's not… we can try to rattle Wong. Maybe he has some idea…"

"Yeah," Jim said as he looked back down to Jimmy. "He's going to have a hard enough time getting over this. Sure would like to be able to tell him we found his daughter when he wakes up."

Liu looked at Jim oddly. "You sure seem to have a connection to this case…like they're friends or something."

Jim looked up at Adam Liu. "No, not friends. But I do have a daughter. Besides, I promised him we'd do everything we could…"

"And he complicated things by going it on his own," Liu pointed out.

"Yeah… but I've been there. Daughters make you do crazy things," Jim said as he looked down at Jimmy Trang again. Then glancing back at Liu. "You got a daughter?"

Adam looked at him sheepishly. "No, but my wife is pregnant. We have two boys already, so we're hoping…"

Jim nodded. "Just get ready; daughters …well, they make a special place in your heart," he said forlornly.

Adam went back downstairs, leaving Jim with Trang. Brass was relieved when he heard the sirens and knew help would be there for the younger father. He watched as the still unconscious man was loaded onto a back board and carried down the steps. Soon he'd be at the ER with his uncle. Now Jim could turn his attention back to finding Mai.

Walking back into the house, he found Nick thumbing through a small book. "Find anything?" he asked the CSI.

Nick looked up from the book and grinned. "I think this is an address book. And Lily Chen's name is in it."

For the first time in days, Jim looked almost happy. "Oh…that's too easy," he commented.

"Yeah, but it's worth a shot."

"What is?" asked Liu from the doorway.

Nick quickly explained. Liu looked at Brass. "Why don't I send Hawkins with you and Stokes? Meantime, I'm going to follow up with Wong."

Jim nodded. "Yeah, divide and conquer."

Liu quickly explained to Hawkins and also called dispatch to send another unit to the address. He watched as Jim and Nick pulled out with Hawkins following in his patrol car, just behind the two from Vegas. Confident that that lead was covered, he turned his attention to Daniel Wong and the Dragon's Lair.

He entered the front entrance with two patrolmen behind him. Five had been dispatched around the building, cutting off Wong's ability to bolt. Within minutes they had the gang leader secure. Wong was protesting loudly and was rewarded with a knee in his gut for the effort. Liu gave him his Miranda and asked him if he had any questions.

Wong looked at him vengefully. "Yeah, what you busting me for? I didn't do nothin'"

"Funny," Liu said. "Your big canary that usually watches the front door but you had watching things over at your house on Hill… he's telling us different."

About the time Liu and several of his officers were cuffing and arresting Wong at the Lair, Jim pulled to a stop in front of the house they were looking for. Nick studied the exterior carefully. "Looks occupied," he commented.

Hawkins pulled up behind them and motioned to the other two patrolmen who'd parked a little down the block. The three men surrounded Jim and Nick as Jim explained what he needed from them. Two headed around back while Hawkins covered the side entrance to the house. Jim knocked and then announced, "Police."

When he got no response, he yelled "go" and they all entered through the three entrances. Nick was behind Jim but still saw the scramble as Lily tried to run. He and Jim chased her right into Hawkins, who turned and cuffed her. With Lily secure, they began to search the house.

"Nothing." Jim was disappointed after searching all the rooms and finding no sign of Mai. Turning toward Lily Chen, who stood cuffed in the living room in the custody of a female officer, he snarled, "Where is she?"

Lily smirked. "Who you looking for?"

Making no attempt to disguise his feelings at the moment, Jim's face showed his anger and antipathy. "You know who we're looking for…Mai Trang. We know you took her; that you were at Tim Trang's apartment in Vegas and along with your cousin Charlie, you took her. Charlie's in rough shape, by the way….not that you seem all that interested."

"Charlie? What happened to him?" Jim had obviously hit a nerve.

"He's in the hospital…took a bullet at that warehouse where you left him; you know the place, where you killed Carrie Murphy…" Jim watched her reaction, gauging her response.

"He got shot? You shot him?" She yelled.

Shooting her his best look of innocence, Jim replied. "Oh, not me…the guys he was aiming his gun at. So where's the girl?"

Nick watched as her anger took hold. "But what about Charlie? How bad?"

"Where's the girl?" Jim repeated.

Glowering at the detective, Lily visibly shut down. "Tell me about Charlie…"

"Tell me about the girl," Jim said determinedly.

Nick fought back a grin as he watched Lily's resolve melt. "You'll tell me about Charlie?"

Standing his ground, Jim nodded. "After you tell me where to find the girl."

Her eyes narrowed as she glared at Jim. Still watching the scene, Nick knew the exact moment when she broke. Finally, in a soft voice she opened up. "I gave her to Daniel; he's got her."

"Where? Where does he have her?"

I dunno… One of his guys took her from me in Vegas. But he's planning to ship her out soon." Her eyes narrowed briefly and then she looked up. "He has a building there… it's off the highway, H Street… 342, I think…" She took a deep breath and then looked at Jim. "Old building."

The atmosphere in the room changed as Jim relaxed. His tone was suddenly sympathetic as he gave her the news. "Charlie's in the hospital, in critical condition. Doctors don't think he'll make it."

Visibly shocked, Lily let herself be led away. Jim pulled his phone out of his pocket and called Vega. "We have an address…"

Back at LAPD, Jim sat across the table from Daniel Wong. "Lily told us where to find the girl," he told the gang leader. "But what I don't get is Guy and Jimmy…why'd you beat them up so bad?"

Daniel smiled across the table at Jim. "Lily can't give what she ain't got. And Guy…he came to the Lair….came to my place looking for trouble. I just …gave him what he wanted."

"And Jimmy?"

"He came looking for Guy. Wouldn't go away; what was I supposed to do?"

"Yeah, well… they'll be conscious soon. I'll get the story from them. In any case, you're going down," Jim said gruffly.

Wong just smirked again. "For what? Assault? I'll be out in no time…"

Jim's phone rang and he stepped out of the room to take the call. Looking at the ID, he quickly answered. "You have her?" he asked Sam Vega.

"No. No body was there. But Sanders did find some evidence that someone had been there. He's processing now. And he has prints…"

"So, we still don't know where she is?"

"No. But whoever was there…they hadn't been gone long."

"Yeah, okay."

Nick was walking down the hall and stopped when he saw Jim end the call. "No luck?" He asked the detective.

Jim sighed, frustrated. "No."

"So now what?"

Wiping the back of his neck in exasperation, Jim shrugged. "Liu's working on Wong. Let's get some sleep."

Nick nodded. "Yeah, fresh eyes…"

Back at the motel, Jim paced his room. To say he was restless would be an understatement. He couldn't be still as Lily Chen's voice echoed in his mind, "He's planning to ship her out soon…"

Finally conceding that he wasn't going to sleep, he reached for his phone.

"Annie?"

"Jimmy… you called."

"Yeah…I said I would."

"But you're on a case. And I remember what you're like…"

Jim furrowed his brow. "How's that?"

"Like a bulldog with a bone," she chuckled into the phone.

He began to relax. She wasn't accusing, just acknowledging his determination. "Yeah, I guess. But right now…Can we meet for a cup of coffee or something? I need to see a friendly face."

She laughed again. "Sure Jimmy. Where are you now? I'll come over."

"Um…the Econo Lodge…um, let me get the address…"

* * *

><p><em>It always looks darkest just before it gets totally black<em>

_Charlie Brown_


	11. Balm for the Weary

A little something for Super Brassfan, Beaujolais.

* * *

><p>She showed up about forty five minutes later. His nerves were on edge as he opened the door to her. After all, it had been several years. And when he'd left last time, well… there had been some unfinished business.<p>

"Hey," he said softly as she brushed past him.

"Hey yourself," she answered as she held up a couple of take out bags. Figured you might be hungry."

He grinned ruefully. "Yeah, a little," he replied. But as he looked at her he knew it wasn't food he desired. Annie always had a way of making him feel better, feel comfortable in his own skin. She'd done that back in Jersey, and in a different way again a few years back when he'd been here for Ellie, and he hoped she would do that for him now.

She smirked as she reached into another bag. "Thought this might be needed too," she said as she pulled out a bottle of his favorite Scotch.

Without a word, he moved to the sink to retrieve the two water glasses. He set them on the table and watched appreciatively as she poured their drinks. Watching her hands, his mind took him back to Jersey, back to their affair… to the last time those long fingers had moved over his body and the way they felt. At a time when his wife was emasculating him regularly, Annie made him whole. And she'd put him back together when he'd confessed his guilt over Ellie. And now?

This case wasn't as personal as Ellie's had been, but there was something about it that gnawed at him; something beyond the usual disquiet of a child kidnapping. He knew that as much as he didn't want to, she'd get him to talk about it. So why fight it? Why not just spill his guts? Inwardly he shrugged, because it wasn't his way…their way.

She sat on the bed and crossed her legs. Folding her arms at the forearms, she held her drink over her knee. And then she looked at him, looked into him. "So what's bothering you Jimmy? What is it about this case that has you tied up in knots?"

Jim looked at Annie sitting on the bed and knew it was time to open up. So sitting next to her he gave her the details of the case and when he was done, he looked at her and waited.

"So you're waiting for Liu to break Wong? Won't happen. But what I don't get… why are you so caught up in this case, Jimmy?"

"Dunno," he admitted. "I guess… well, the family, the Trangs, they kind of remind me of…"

"Vietnam," she finished for him.

"Yeah."

"You were still fighting those ghosts when I knew you back in Jersey; guess it isn't surprising that they're with you now. But you've had cases before…with Vietnamese people, I mean. What's so special about this one?"

"Yeah. I have."

"Did they get to you like this one?"

"No," he answered, shaking his head. "This one's different. Can't explain it; just is."

A sad smile crept on her face. "If anything bad ever happens to me, I want you to take the case," she said forlornly. Jim shot her a questioning look but said nothing. He didn't want to think about anything happening to Annie; didn't want to give voice to it.

"Oh Jimmy, don't look so worried," she said in a lighter tone. "It's just…you're so single minded when it's someone you care about." He looked away, her suggestion evoking fear in him, overwhelming him.

He felt her finger under his chin, gently coaxing his face back to her. "Really Jimmy, I'm not planning on letting anything bad happen."

He sighed. "I know. It's just… I mean… even though we don't see each other and really haven't kept in touch … just knowing you're here…"

"I know," she smiled warmly. She had the same feelings about him.

His eyes focused on her hands as they re-crossed at the wrists, the right one holding the drink. Again, he remembered the feel of those long fingers on his skin. And then his eyes travelled down, taking in the length of her legs, covered by slacks now but it wasn't difficult to remember their shape or the feel of them as they wrapped around him in the throes of sex.

As if she knew where his thoughts were going, she shifted her weight. Leaning back slightly, her left hand moving back to support her weight, she grinned at him knowingly. Her jacket feel open, revealing her off white blouse that almost but not quite concealed the lines of her bra. Heat flushed through Jim as he remembered what lay beneath. _But that was years ago,_ he reminded himself.

"Jimmy?" she said quietly, bringing his attention back to her face.

"Sorry," he said self-effacingly.

"I didn't think…I mean, the last time, you avoided… I just thought…"

Her discomfort unsettled him. He wasn't being fair to her; hadn't been ever. Their affair had ended abruptly when Nancy had given him an ultimatum and Annie had been hurt badly. Hell, there shouldn't have been an affair to begin with, he mused. And then when he came to L.A. for Ellie; she'd tried to reconnect but… he'd been too caught up in guilt and grief. And now? What was she hoping for now? Did she really…after all these years, was there still something left?"

He didn't want to hurt her, not again. His call had been selfish and he was just beginning to realize how much so. "Annie…"

Shifting again on the bed, she put her hand up. "It's okay, Jimmy. I know the score."

Different emotions battled within him as he considered her. "You do? Because I'm confused," he admitted.

"You're a guy and you're upset…frustrated and feeling a little battered right now. You want what all guys want when they feel that way; a little roll in the hay, an excuse to cling … to hold someone and be held. I get it."

He frowned, feeling like a louse. "I don't want to use you like that Annie."

So quietly that he almost didn't hear, she replied. "But what if I want to be used like that?"

He stroked her jaw with his knuckles, tenderly tracing the lines to her chin. And then moving his hand down, he took the glass from her hands and reached over to place it on the night stand, along with his. His hand moved back to her face, his fingers coaxing her face to him.

The room seemed to disappear around them as he looked into her dark eyes. He found acceptance and empathy beyond anything he'd felt from another in years. "Annie," he whispered.

She cupped his face with her hand and tender smile settled over her features. "Let me be here for you tonight, Jimmy. Let me hold you…let me be the one…"

His heart pounded in his chest as his breathing became almost non existent. Letting everything else fall away, he lost himself in her eyes and sensed that his was losing his inner struggle with conscience. And as she kissed him, he let go and surrendered himself to her.

There was a shyness at first, both aware that their bodies were not what they had been before. But as instinct and need took hold the nervousness fell away. And soon they were rediscovering the familiar. And once the fever had passed and they lay snuggled on the bed, Jim's fingers slowly played along her arm as he wrapped his arm around her, holding her close. Satiated and finally calm, Jim realized she had done it again, that which she had always done for him; she had made him feel normal…whole again. And not for the first time, he wondered why he had never pursued something long term, more permanent with her. But as he drifted to sleep, he knew. Long term with Annie would have ended like long term with Nancy had because there would always be someone else… Or at least the memory of someone else.

He woke the next morning to the sound of her getting dressed. Groggily he sat up, trying to pull himself together. "Hey," he said softly.

She turned and smiled at him, a warm beautiful smile that cheered him. He crossed the room and enveloped her in a hug. "Thanks," he whispered.

She leaned back, putting her hands on either side of his face. "My pleasure Jimmy," she chuckled. And then she backed out of his embrace and started for the door. Turning when she reached it, she sighed. "Before you go beating yourself up because you think you used me in some way… just remember that I know the score. I know you care about me Jimmy. But … I'm not the one."

Jim frowned at her. "The one?"

"The one that you can love like you were meant to love a woman. Nancy wasn't it either. I keep hoping that one day I'll hear you found her. It'll break my heart, but I'll be happy for you." And then she scooted out of the door and was gone.

Jim stood, staring at the door, transfixed. And he thought of An.

An hour and a half later, he and Nick met Adam Liu at PD. "We grilled Wong for hours until his lawyer showed up," Liu told them. "But we got nothing. Now he's lawyered up and …well, that's it, I'm afraid."

Nick looked at Jim and waited. After Jim didn't say anything for a moment, Nick finally spoke. "So now what?"

Jim looked at him desolately. "We go home…"

The drive back to Vegas was long. They'd stopped by the hospital to check on the Trangs. Both were being cared for and awake.

Jimmy explained his disappearance to Jim. "Guy called me. Wong had told him to bring him money… $250,000. Then he would give us Mai. So I got the money out of the safe at our business and drove here. But …Daniel Wong took the money and just laughed at us. Then took me to that house and when I tried to get away, his man beat me." Tears were running down Jimmy's face. "Then he told me that we wouldn't get Mai back ever; that she is…that she is being sent to China…as a …." He slumped and then Jim heard him whisper, "slave for a rich businessman there."

Jim watched the man intently. "Look, we're doing everything we can to find her. I promise you, I'm not giving up."

Jimmy looked up at him sadly. "I want to believe that she will be found but in my heart, I don't."

Jim knew the man's heart was breaking. "Look, Guy's wife is on her way here. The doctor says both of you will be released later today and then you can go back home. I'm heading back to Vegas now. We're not out of leads yet. Don't quit believing just yet, okay?"

Jimmy looked at him and nodded. "I will try." He hesitated and then asked quietly. "Does Alicia know?"

"That you tried to get Mai back on your own? No. Detective Vega just told them that we had found you and Guy. Your family was relieved. They have enough to deal with without you going off to try to be a hero, you know."

Jimmy nodded. "I know…I just…" And then he slumped again.

Patting the younger man on the shoulder, Jim spoke softly. "I know; you just had to do something."

Jimmy looked at him gratefully. "Yes, that is it. Thank you for understanding."

Jim smiled sadly. "Hey, like I told you; I'm a father, I've been there. But from now on, you take care of your wife and let me do my job, okay?"

As they headed east, Jim called Annie. "We're headed back to Vegas," he told her.

"Yeah, okay," she replied. "I'm glad we got to have that drink."

"Yeah, me too. And…thanks."

"Anytime Jimmy. You know how I feel about it…"

"Yeah. And…well, you know…"

"Take care of yourself," she admonished.

"You too…"

Nick looked knowingly at Jim out of the corner of his eye. "She somebody special?"

"Once…a long time ago," Jim answered nostalgically. _And last night….and anytime I need her to be._

* * *

><p>There's this place in me where your fingerprints still rest, your kisses still linger, and your whispers softly echo. It's the place where a part of you will forever be a part of me.<p>

Gretchen Kemp

* * *

><p>So how am I doing. You like?Is it time to find Mai? And then what? Press the little button and more will be revealed, lol. Seriously, I do like to hear what you think.<p> 


	12. If It Weren't For Bad Luck

Jim and Nick were walking through the LVPD parking lot, heading in to report back when Greg Sanders hurried towards them. "We got a break," he said excitedly. "At that building Lily Chen told you about. Prints matched the ones we thought are the girl's from the first scene. People working in the next building saw two men walking an Asian girl to a blue SUV with partial plates. We ran the numbers and got a hit. Brian Trinh got a tip from the community and located the car at a motel over in Koreatown. Vega's headed there now."

They hustled back to Jim's car and headed to the motel. Jim called Sam Vega and got an update. The clerk confirmed that two men and a girl were in room 203. He was waiting for backup before going in.

Jim pulled into the motel lot moments later and immediately he was out of the car, heading towards the room. Looking around the lot briefly, he didn't see the car. He heard Vega and the uniforms break into the room just as he got to the second floor. Running, he went to the door.

Jim reached the doorway and looked at the men, expecting to hear the worst. After taking a deep breath, He edged around the door frame and peered into the room. Curled on a mattress in the corner, almost in a fetal position was the girl, obviously frightened. One arm handcuffed to a bed post, she was lying in her own filth. She held her hands over her face and it was evident she was crying. Jim stepped into the room, holstering his gun. "Hey," he said softly. "My name's Jim Brass. I'm a detective…and we're here to take you to your family. You wanna go home?"

The girl peeked out from behind her hands and looked at him nervously. Her eyes were huge as she stared at Jim, tears rolling down her face. "You're Mai, right?" he said as he edged closer to her. "I've met your mother and father…Jimmy and Alicia…right?"

She nodded slowly, still not really comprehending that she was safe.

Jim eased down next to her, steadying himself on one knee. "They've been really worried about you. I told them I'd find you and bring you back to them," he said gently. "And your brother, Vinh too…"

Her expression tugged at Jim; she looked so frightened. And briefly, even though she was younger something about her reminded him of An and it felt like 40 years ago. But he needed to stay in the present, he told himself.

As he talked to the girl, his eyes scanned the area. Something was off. The hairs on the back of his neck bristled as he realized what it was.

"Jim," Nick said softly from behind him. "There are wires…"

"Yeah, I see 'em," the detective answered. "Running under the mattress…"

"Maybe weight triggered?" Nick asked, his head tilting as he tried to follow the wires.

"Yeah, but why not just keep it all under the bed? Why wires going along the wall?" Jim asked.

"Dunno…"

"Have Vega call the bomb squad…and clear the building… just in case."

"Yeah, alright. You okay?"

Jim nodded and then looked at Mai and smiled. "We're good. I'm gonna stay here with my new friend here…"

"Yeah, somehow I knew that," Nick said before backing out of the room.

Jim studied the wires more closely and saw that they ran along the wall, behind the nightstand and under the other bed in the room. He shook his head; it didn't make sense. Carefully, he lifted the corner of Mai's mattress and saw enough to know this wasn't going to be easy.

The girl was getting restless. "Honey, you need to stay real still, okay?" He didn't want to alarm her, certain that she couldn't handle much more. But he really needed her to be quiet.

She whimpered and looked at her cuffed wrist. Jim's eyes followed her to the cuffs and he winced. Her wrist was badly bruised and blood had dried and crusted from where the cuffs had torn her skin. "Look, I'll take the cuffs off, but you can't move. You understand me, honey?"

She nodded that she did, eliciting a smile from Jim. "Okay, so real still, right," he coached as he reached across with his cuff key. He felt the cuffs give and she pulled her arm to her but was being very still otherwise. His heart was pounding as he watched her face. Her eyes were enormous, fear filling them.

"It hurts," she whimpered.

"I know, honey. But you can't move just yet. I got some guys coming that are going to get us out of here. But for now, we have to sit tight, okay."

She nodded again. "You made the mean men go away."

"Well, I think they heard we were looking for you. Maybe it sacred them."

She nodded and then frowned. "The really mean one, Joey, he got a phone call. He got all funny when he was talking on the phone. Then he told the other one, John, that they had to go…to leave me and just get out. Then they left."

"Yeah?" Jim prodded softly. "Anything else you remember me about those two?"

Mai closed her eyes and her expression changed to one of deep concentration. "Joey was short, really short and had brown hair. John was taller, like maybe your size, and …skinny, he was real skinny."

"So how'd you end up with them? Did they take you away from your uncle's place?"

"No, the lady did…Lily, I think was her name. Then we went to this place…like one of the warehouses at my father's business. There was another lady there. And two men, but they were at Uncle Tim's too. It was loud. Everybody was yelling and then the one that took me shot the other lady. The older guy, Charlie I think, he freaked out and started yelling at Lily. Anyway, she left and then came back later with Joey and John. They took me away and then Lily told Joey to keep me hidden while she got the money. I don't know what it was exactly…" She looked across the room at the window and Jim could see that she was thinking. "Were they trying to…you know, get a ransom or something?"

Jim nodded. "I think so. But another guy got to the money first, so Lily must've called Joey and that's when they left." Jim was trying not to tell her too much. He could see that she was curious but also on overload. He didn't need her getting upset. Leaving her father's involvement out was the best option for now, he thought. At the same time, he was trying to figure out who had tipped Joey; Lily and Wong were both in custody. Pushing that to the back of his mind for now, he looked at the girl and smiled.

"They took me to another place but we didn't stay long. And then we came here," she told him.

"Yeah, we went to the other place first." He watched her as she looked away again.

Then with a deep breath, she looked back at him. "I want to go home now, please."

"Yeah, I know Honey. But we have to wait…" Then turning his head, he yelled, "Nicky, what's holding up the guys?"

Nick edged around the corner carefully. "They are en route but there was a wreck; they're having to go around…just a few more minutes," he told Jim.

Jim flashed a wane smile at the girl. She was looking anxious; he could see the nerves building in her. She wasn't going to stay still much longer. "It's going to be fine," he told her confidently. He just wished he really felt it.

A minute or two later a loud noise sounded in the parking lot. Jim flinched but the girl jumped. He heard a click and instantly knew what had happened. Grabbing her, he held her on his side, opposite the wall that was wired and he lunged for the door, hoping to get her away from the blast. He heard Nick yell something and that was the last thing he knew.

Nick saw the motion from his spot at the door. Yelling, "I got her," he grabbed Mai's arms and yanked her out just as the room exploded. Vega was there instantly, collecting the girl and handing her off to an officer just down the balcony. Then he pulled Nick away, all the while yelling for Medics. Debris had hit Nick and he had cuts and scrapes everywhere, but as far as Sam could tell, he wasn't badly hurt. Apprehensively, he looked around the doorway, afraid of what he would find.

Jim was on the floor, unconscious. His body was partially covered in debris and Sam could see some nasty looking tears in his clothes where blood seeped through. What Sam could see of his face looked rough with blood running over his features. Vega noticed blood trickling from his ear.

Cautiously, Sam approached his boss. Reaching down, he felt for a pulse and was relieved to find a decent one. EMTs charged through the door and Sam moved away to let them work. As he stepped out of the room, he saw the van for the bomb unit pull in. "Great timing," he muttered as he hurried down the steps.

Vega found Nick sitting on the back of an ambulance. "How's Jim?" Nick asked the detective.

"Alive," Sam answered somberly. "EMTs are with him. How about you?"

"I'll be okay." Nick looked up at the room and then glanced over at the other ambulance. "He saved the girl, you know."

"Yeah, I know," Sam said quietly. "Any idea what triggered it?"

"Something startled her and she jumped. I think it was a car backfiring in the parking lot."

Sam looked around and nodded. "Yeah, there was a garbage truck at the dumpster…"

"Damn," was all Nick could say.

Nick watched as the EMT crew that worked on Mai closed the doors and pulled away. Sam stood nearby, talking to Ecklie on the phone. "Yeah, she's on her way to Desert Palm. You going to call the parents?"

Nick watched the detective's face as he talked. It should have been Jim calling the parents…or Sam. But as usual, Ecklie was taking the spotlight. It didn't matter to either detective, Nick knew. Vega understood the pecking order and Jim despised being the center of attention, unless a good joke was involved. Dipping his head, Nick grinned, proud that he worked alongside these people.

Jim was unaware of everything going on around him. The EMTs worked furiously preparing him for transport to the hospital but he was oblivious. In his mind he was in a different time and place.

"_What will it be like in America," An asked him as they sat in the forest behind the village. He held her close, his arm around her waist with his cheek propped on her head. "It'll be different than here," he told her. "For one thing, we'll be living in the city."_

"_New…wark, right?"_

"_Yeah," he grinned. "Newark. New Jersey. But you don't have to go far to find farms. And the ocean is close too."_

"_I want to see the ocean…"_

"_I'll take you. And we can go into New York too. They have really tall buildings there. You look up and they look like they're touching the sky."_

_She looked up at the sky, through the trees and sighed. "It will be so different. I don't know if they will like me."_

"_We'll have our own place, a house with a yard…and that'll be our home and you'll be just fine," he assured her._

_She looked into his eyes, her own smiling. "And children? We will have many children?"_

"_Many children," he agreed as he lost himself in her dark orbs._

After arriving at the hospital, Jim was dimly aware of people around him before slipping back into his memories.

Nick stood on the hallway at the ER, waiting. He saw Ecklie down the hall talking to Alicia Trang. And older Asian woman stood nearby, holding the hand of a boy. Nick guessed the boy was Mai's brother. The older woman must be Jimmy Trang's mother, he thought.

Glancing back towards the cubicle where the medical personnel were working on Jim, Nick sighed. He felt Vega edge up beside him. "Any word?" The detective asked.

"Not yet," Nick answered. "Ecklie's down the hall talking to the Trangs…well, the ones that are here. Last I heard, Sally was still in L.A. with Guy and Jimmy. They are due to be released from the hospital tomorrow."

"Yeah." Vega replied as he glanced down the hall at the small gathering. "Wonder how the girl is."

"She's going to be okay," Nick said. "She's got some bad bruises and long gash on her leg where some of the debris hit her. And the nurse said her hearing isn't totally back yet, but it seems to be clearing."

Vega looked back toward the cubicle. "You think he'll survive this one?"

Nick looked at the detective, alarmed. "Man, don't even think that…"

Sam shrugged. "Yeah, it's just… how many times can a guy get blown up and shot before it catches up…"

They heard footsteps coming up the hall and looked up to see Ecklie headed their way. "Any word on Jim?" he asked as he approached.

"No," Nick answered succinctly.

Conrad let out a deep sigh. His concern seemed genuine to Nick. "He saved that girl's life, you know."

Ecklie looked up at him sharply. "Yeah, I know…I just hope it doesn't cost him his."

Vega looked at his superior and shrugged. "He'd tell you it was worth it, if it did."

"Yeah," Ecklie replied as his shoulders slumped.

Light footsteps sounded behind the Under-Sheriff. "Pardon me," a soft, accented voice said.

Ecklie turned to acknowledge the small woman that stood behind him. "Mrs. Trang…"

In a motion that Nick could only describe as something between a quick bow and a nod, she acknowledged to Ecklie. "The man who saved my granddaughter…. Is one of these him?"

Ecklie shifted his weight. "Uh, well…they were there. Nick Stokes here pulled her out and Detective Vega was second in command at the scene. But it was Jim Brass that shielded her from the blast."

Something flashed in the woman's expression, Nick observed. She seemed shocked. But she recovered quickly. "Well, I wish to thank all of these men…for finding her and making her safe."

Ecklie turned toward the two men standing near the wall, his expression encouraging them to step up.

Nick stepped toward the woman. "Well, thank you ma'm; but it's our job… we're glad she is safe now." Sam edged up next to him and nodded his agreement. She looked from one man to the other, a question forming in her eyes.

"We'll be sure to tell Jim," Sam offered. "When we see him…"

A frown formed between her eyes as understanding lit in her eyes. "You are here because he is…"

"With the doctor," Ecklie cut in. "We're waiting for word now."

A contemplative expression settled over her features and then curiosity. Looking at Ecklie she asked, "tell me about this Jim Brass?"

Conrad folded his arms, his eyebrows furrowing in thought, as he tilted his head. Nick straightened up, wondering why she wanted to know about the detective. "What is it you want to know, ma'm?" Nick asked.

She swallowed deeply and took a deep breath, nervousness overtaking her body. "I just…would like to know more about the man who saved our Mai."

Nick thought for a moment. Jim wouldn't be happy with them giving away the details of his life; he was a private man…and a humble one, despite his brashness. "He um…he's a good man, Mrs. Trang… a real good man."

Something flickered in her eyes and she nodded, accepting the brief answer to her question. "Yes of course," she said softly. Then thanking them, she turned and walked back to her family.

Catherine flew around the corner, passing everyone and headed straight to Nick. She was visibly upset. "I got here as soon as I could…how is he?"

"We don't know yet," Nick answered. "Still waiting to hear."

She turned and faced the cubicle, tense and apprehensive. "Can we see him…will they let anyone in…"

"Not yet. They're…working on him."

"How bad?"

"He shielded the girl with his body; took most of the force of the blast."

Catherine squeezed her fists shut and brought them to her mouth, a small sob escaping as she did. "Is he… I mean, have they said…what are his chances?"

As Nick pulled her into a friendly, comforting hug, Sam Vega watched the woman down the hall. She had keenly observed Catherine since her arrival and looked shaken. He assumed she felt bad for the friends of the man who saved Mai's life.

* * *

><p>So whacha think? I have to admit I'm fighting with this one a little right now. The words just don't want to come out right. So I might be a little slower posting while I work through it. This one, for instance, was written a couple of weeks ago but when I reread it to proof it, it all seemed lame. So I had to rework it. And then, still not satisfied, I had to do it again. I hope the outcome is okay. I know it is better than what I started with, lol.<p>

On a couple of different notes: If you haven't partcipated in my poll about season 12, please do. It is always fun to see what folks are thinking. So far, we all agree that Brass needs a woman, lol.

And last: my next story will be #100. Can't believe it but that's what it says on my profile. Anyway, I'm hoping you guys will help me with that one. Details are on my profile. If you're interested, please check it out.

TTFN


	13. Alone in the Dark

Nick's vigil in the hallway continued. Catherine was sitting in a chair near the nurse's desk and Vega had left to go back to the scene. The bomb squad had cleared the building and the investigation into the bomb was beginning. Catherine had already sent Sara and Greg over to the scene. Ecklie left a few minutes before, promising to be back after he'd taken care of some details back at PD.

Glancing down at his watch, Nick groaned. It had been almost two hours and they hadn't heard anything about the condition of the police captain. Turning his head, he saw a nurse talking to Catherine and wondered what that was about. Just as he decided to walk down and investigate, a male nurse walked out of Jim's cubicle.

He smiled briefly and then asked, "you family?"

Nodding negatively, Nick told him no. "But we work together and we're friends."

"You know I can't tell you much…" the man began.

"Yeah, I know. But is he…I mean, he's .."

"He's alive… but still unconscious. Although the doctor says he thinks your friend is starting to come out of it."

"Isn't that a long time for him to be out?" Nick asked.

"Depends on the injury. Dr. Taylor is assessing him still. And really, that's all I can say. I need to get some supplies…" The man started to walk away and then turned. "He got any family here at all?"

Ellie flashed through Nick's mind but after her actions the last time Jim was in the hospital, Nick didn't really feel the need to bring her into it. "No…he's on his own. I think he has a sister back east somewhere, but that's about it."

The man nodded. "Well, it's good that you're here then," he said as he turned again to walk away.

Catherine wandered back to Nick. "What was that all about?"

Sighing, Nick shrugged. "He just said that Jim's still out but showing signs of coming around. Asked if Jim has any family."

"Oh," Catherine replied sadly. "There's his daughter…"

"Yeah, as if she cares… I told him that Jim is on his own."

Catherine stared thoughtfully at the wall. "I wonder if he gave anyone else his Medical Power of Attorney after Grissom left."

Nick shrugged. "I dunno."

Catherine took another deep breath. "Nurse told me that they are moving Mai to her own room now. She's going to be fine. A day or two in the hospital…"

"Good, that's real good," Nick replied caringly. "Jim will be glad to hear it when he wakes up."

"Yeah," Catherine said as she watched the door to his cubicle.

A few minutes later the doctor stepped out. "You here for Mr. Brass?"

Both CSIs affirmed that they were. "So how is he?" Catherine asked him.

"Better than he should be, if I understand what happened correctly," Dr. Taylor answered. "He's beginning to awaken. We've done a CT and there are signs of brain injury. As far as we can determine, he's got a moderate TBI. There is some intracranial swelling and we'll have to monitor him closely over the next couple of days. If it gets worse, surgery is indicated to relieve the swelling. But for now, we're going to try to use non invasive methods to treat it.

Preliminary indications are some damage to the left temporal lobe with possible implications for the occipital lobes. Because of the location at the back of the skull, the occipital area is more difficult to diagnose but once he is awake, we'll be better able to access the situation.

For now, we're moving him to the neuro-ICU and keeping a close eye on him. There's nothing really you can do for him tonight. Only family will be allowed to see him in ICU."

"Thank you, Doctor," Nick replied. "But we'll stay close. He doesn't have any family here and…well, we just need to know he's being taken care of."

The doctor nodded. "Doesn't surprise me; you cops always keep a vigil. I'll keep you posted, but you understand I can only tell you so much."

Nick resumed his spot on the wall as they watched the doctor move away. Catherine looked around and then at Nick. "How about I get us some coffee?"

Awareness slowly crept over Jim Brass as he lay in his bed in ICU. Things were fuzzy in his mind but muffled sounds from the side of the bed made him think of a place he'd been before… a place of pain and fear. But his mind couldn't quite grasp it, where this place was.

He tried to look around but the lights were muted and all he could see was the dim glow of…something… at the other end of the room. Other than the sounds next to his bed, everything else was quite.

The next thing he noticed was that his head hurt. Lifting his hand in some instinctive feeling that rubbing it might help the pain, he tried to touch the source of the pain but his hand missed and fell back to the bed. Grunting, he gave up. It was too much effort anyway.

Next, he tried to call out, hoping someone would come to help, to explain. But the sounds that came out of his mouth were nonsensical, even in his muddled mind. And then he heard rustling next to the bed and hands began to touch him. Maybe his call had been understood, after all.

He recognized some of the things the hands were doing, although he couldn't quite name them. He had more of a sense of familiarity to the motions rather than actual words. And then a head splitting light pierced his eyes, sending pain into his head like a chisel being driven in. He yelped in pain and tried to back away but the bed held him firmly in place. And then the light went away and he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder.

A soft voice began to speak. "Mr. Brass, I'm Dr. Taylor. In case you haven't guessed it already, you are in the hospital."

_Hospital, yes…that was it … the word he'd tried to grasp before….the place of pain and fear. He had died there before; but that didn't make sense. If he had died, what was he doing here now? _His head shook as he tried to bring it together in his mind, which was a mistake because the pain was head piercing. _Grissom …Grissom didn't let it happen; he … what? Surgery…yeah, he told them to do the surgery. Grissom will be here soon, _he told himself_. He'll tell me what's going on._

The doctor was talking again and Jim tried to concentrate, but it was hard and the voice was muffled. "…suffered trauma to the head from the blast," he said softly. "I imagine your head hurts quite a bit." He paused as Jim struggled to say that his head did indeed hurt.

The doctor frowned. "Mr. Brass, can you hear what I am telling you?"

Jim did hear and tried to nod again; in fact, he thought he did. But as he watched, Dr. Taylor only saw movement in the injured man's hand. He watched as Jim's hand shook up and down, mimicking the action of nodding yes. Taylor glanced across at the nurse, whose look confirmed the same concern he was feeling.

"Mr. Brass…can you tell me your first name?"

_My name? What the hell? Why's he want to know my name? _After a slight pause in his thoughts, Jim realized the man should already know his name. _But okay, I'll play the game…_ Opening his mouth, he tried to speak his name, but nothing came out and he quickly closed his mouth again. _My name? Brass…that's my name. But he said…_Panic began to flood through Jim as he sorted through his thoughts trying to find his name. It was there; he could feel it, just beyond his reach. And then his mind grasped it; "J…Ji…m. JJim BBrrass," he said thankfully.

His stutter went unnoticed in his mind but alarms were going off in the doctor's mind. "Okay Jim; I need to perform a few tests…nothing too difficult. I just want to see how much that blast rattled your brain."

Listening to the doctor was a challenge and suddenly Jim felt even more tired and confused than he had upon waking. "Ttt…eests?"

"Yeah, just a few questions actually. Do you know what day it is?"

Jim tried to look through the darkness at the man._ Stupid question…_"Tttoddda," he replied simply.

"Right, but is it Monday or Tuesday… what day of the week?"

Jim furrowed his brow. "Dddon't How llong…?"

"How long what?"

"Ibeen oout?"

He heard the doctor chuckle but it wasn't funny to Jim. He was worried. This jackass was interrogating him in the dark and made it seem like something was really wrong.

"Only a few hours…almost three. So it is the same day still."

Jim couldn't remember what day it was. He tried hard to think of it but he couldn't. "Ddon't know. Wwhat's my wwwatchay?"

"Your watch is for keeping time," the doctor pointed out.

"Hhhas days too…" Jim smirked.

Dr. Taylor grinned. "I forgot that watches have that. Okay then, what color is my shirt."

The question frustrated Jim. "I ddon't knnnow dddumbass, tturnoon the ddamn llights and III'll ttelllyou," he barked.

Dr. Taylor blanched. After a short pause, he asked another question. "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Wwwhat? You gggotta be kkkiddin' mmmeee…"

"Can you see my fingers?"

"Hhhow the hhhelll can I..I ssee fingers in the ddark?"

Jim was obviously agitated now and a quick glance at the monitors told Taylor that his blood pressure was rising. "Jim, the blast caused some brain trauma and apparently it is affecting your vision. We need to do some tests…"

"My vvvvission? Mmmy eyes? You tttellingmme I'm bblind?" Panic was suffocating him. _Blind…I can't see…its dark and I can't see…_

"It is probably temporary. But we need to find what is causing it before I can be sure of anything. Try to stay calm, Jim. We need to run these tests and then I can tell you more about what we're dealing with."

Then Jim's mind locked in and his mind sifted one word; blast. "Bbllast? Eexxplosion? Like a bbbomb?"

"Right. I don't know all the details," Taylor told him. "But it is all over the news. A girl was kidnapped and you found her. But the room had a bomb. You used your body as a shield for the girl."

Jim tried to remember but it was all blurry. And then a name popped into his head. "Mmmai…"

"Yes, that's the girl's name; Mai Trang."

"IIsssshe….ddid she…"

"She'll be fine in a few days. Right now, she is in a room two floors above us and is surrounded by her family. A few cuts and bruises and a mild ringing in her ears. She's here more for observation than anything, since she was in the blast too."

Jim furrowed his brow. "An…"

"Excuse me?"

"An. Wwheresshe? Sshe was hhere…"

"I haven't met anyone by that name. There was a Mr. Stokes and …Catherine Willows. Actually one of them has been here all the time. Oh, and also someone named Ecklie. .."

Jim closed his eyes, not that it mattered, his world was filled with darkness. "I… I… cccoulda ssworn…"

"Perhaps you dreamed it. The brain does strange things when it's been injured."

Just as Jim began to accept what had happened…was happening; his muscles suddenly tensed and before he could warn the doctor, he was trying to roll to his side, emptying the contents of his stomach on the side of the bed, the floor, and the doctor's shoes.

He rolled to his back, his head pounding and swimming at the same time. The sounds of shuffling feet and scurrying bodies were heard over the beeps of the machinery but that didn't matter to Jim. He just wanted his head to stop hurting… and the bed to stop spinning.

A few minutes later a soft feminine voice sounded next to his bed. "Mr. Brass… the doctor has ordered some meds to help with the headache. I'm injecting them into the IV now, so the pain should begin to ease in a minute or two."

Jim grunted a thanks but even that hurt. And then a thought niggled at the back of his mind. "Mai…ssshee's rrrreally okay?"

"She's not my case. But from everything I've heard she's fine. A little bruised but nothing serious."

Grunting again, this time in satisfaction, Jim tried to settle down and let the drugs take effect. But the soft voice spoke again. "I understand you don't have family nearby. Is there someone you'd like us to call? I think we could allow one visitor…"

"An," he whispered as he let the drugs take effect and carry him into blissful oblivion.

_"What are you doing Jimmy?" Her voice was soft and frightened. "My father…"_

"_Won't know unless you tell him," he answered heatedly. "Jeez An, you're so beautiful," he said as he trailed kisses down her exposed body. His hands touching and exploring as he went. _

"_You think I'm …beautiful?"_

"_Sweet Jesus," he murmured. "Yes, I think you are beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl I've eve known."_

"_More beautiful than your white girls back home?"_

_Raising his head to look into her eyes, he nodded. "Oh yeah…Jeez An, I can't keep my hands off of you. I gotta have you…"_

"_You…you've done this before?" _

_He could hear the fear in her voice and it pulled at his heart but his groin was pulling harder. "Yeah…but... not like this. I didn't love those girls. God An, I love you so much it hurts…" _

"_You…you won't put a baby in me, will you? My parents would…"_

"_No, no babies…not yet anyway. Not' til after we're married. I've got a way," he said as he fumbled in his pocket for the small little paper holding his protection. Pulling it out, he unwrapped it and rolled it on, showing her that she was protected. _

"_If you're sure Jimmy Brass; I trust you."_

"_I'm sure," he replied confidently. And as he watched her face he realized that this wasn't like back home. Those girls, they knew the score. They'd done this before. But An, she was his, just his. He needed to be careful with that…with her. It was her first time. And when it was done and she cuddled up to him, he realized that in a way it was his first time too. After all, he loved her…yeah, that was it; he'd just screwed the others, this was the first time to make love._

"_Jimmy?" Her voice was soft and hesitant. _

_He grunted, trying to answer but his mouth wouldn't work. _

_And then he felt her hand on his arm, her gentle sweet touch. "Thank you."_

_He heard his moan and tried to reach for her but his arms wouldn't co operate. "An," he whispered. _

"_Yes, yes…it is An. You saved them Jimmy. You saved my son's life and his daughter. Thank you."_

_His mind clouded. Saved her son's life? "Son?" he managed to utter._

"_Yes, my son…and yours," she whispered against his cheek. He felt her fingers along his cheek, gently stroking and then a light warmth there…a kiss? But something was wrong…his mind reached for it, tried to grasp it, struggled. And then, like a lightening bolt it hit him…son?_

Fighting through the darkness, through the confusion, and the memories, he forced himself awake. And his mouth repeated what his mind was screaming. "Son?"

He heard shuffling and the swish of the closing door. And he wondered who had been in his room. And as the dream began to fade, he was left with one thought…son.

Sitting in the ICU waiting room, Catherine looked up when the small oriental woman rushed through the door. She hurried across the room, heading for the door that led to the main hall but then stopped and turned around. Slowly she walked towards Catherine.

Watching quietly, Catherine was surprised when the woman spoke to her. "Thnak you," she said humbly.

Frowning, Catherine replied, "you're welcome…but for what?"

"Your husband; he saved my family."

"What? My hu…who are you?"

"Forgive me." The woman replied. "I am Anna Trang. Mai is my granddaughter. "

"I'm Catherine," she started to reply. But before more could be said the ICU door opened and a nurse called out, "anybody here for Brass?"

"Excuse me," Catherine said to the Asian. ""I'm here," she replied to the nurse as she made her way across the room, forgetting all about the small Asian woman who worriedly watched her walk away.

"Please, he needs you," the nurse said as she hurried Catherine through the door.

* * *

><p><em>"These eyes, tho' clear To outward view of blemish or of spot, Bereft of light, their seeing have forgot, Nor to their idle orbs doth sight appear Of sun, or moon, or star, throughout the year, Or man, or woman. Yet I argue not Against Heaven's hand or will, not bate a jot Of heart or hope; but still bear up and steer Right onward." <em>

_John Milton_

* * *

><p>Many thanks to you for continuing to read along and especially to those who use the little button below. I always love tohear your responses; it keeps the batteries charges and more importantly helps me do better.<p>

I've had a couple of responses to the 100th story question. I'd love to hear from more of you on it;)


	14. Unbelievable

Once again, I do thank those who take the time review. Sometimes the writing flows and sometimes it beats me up These chapters are beating me up. I think you'll understand why as you continue to read. Anyway, your comments are always welcome and much appreciated.

As for the 100th story idea... I'm amazed at how similiar the suggestions have been. They are not identical but close enough that I'm wondering if there's been a little colusion here, lol. If you haven't put your two cents worth in, feel free to jump in the water.

In the meantime, enjoy the read...

* * *

><p>"It's our understanding that he has no family here," the nurse explained as she walked Catherine through the corridor to Jim's room. "And I think he's had a nightmare. He woke very agitated and calling out for someone but I don't know….He keeps calling for An and keeps asking about a son."<p>

Catherine remembered Jim telling her about An. But why was he asking about a son? What was going through his mind, she wondered. They arrived at the door to his small room and the nurse caught Catherine's arm. "I don't know what you've been told, but he can't see you. You'll have to tell him who you are."

"He's…blind?" Catherine asked, stunned.

"The doctor believes it is temporary. He's waiting for some test results to come back. But for now, yes; he's blind."

Closing her eyes and swallowing back the bile that rose in her throat, Catherine collected herself. Jim was probably already upset enough. She didn't need to add to it. Then looking at the nurse, she nodded. "I'll see if I can understand what's got him so upset."

"Thank you. This isn't good for him…"

Catherine stepped away from t he woman and into Jim's room. A quick glance at the monitors told her that his vitals were reasonable so she turned her attention to the man in the bed. "Jim," she said softly, her hand reaching to stroke his arm.

His hand twitched and he moved his head to look at her. But she could tell that he wasn't seeing her. His eyes, his normally very expressive eyes, were blank. "Cath'rine," he croaked.

"Yeah, it's me." Taking a deep breath to collect herself, she jumped in. "The nurse said you were having a bad dream."

"Deam?' He asked broodingly. "I…I dunno." Changing his demeanor, he knitted his brow. "I can'tee, yaknow?"

She had to listen carefully to understand what he said. It was obvious he had more problems than his sight, although that was probably the worst one. "She told me. I'm sorry, Jim."

"Was dddremmin'.But….ssseemed rrreoll. Ssshe…as hhar."

Working to understand, Catherine got what he was saying. "You thought she was…here?" And then she remembered Ms. Trang in the waiting room and her eyes widened.

"Sshheee uched mme…onrm," he answered as he tried to lift his arm.

Not wanting to upset him further, Catherine decided not to share her short exchange with Ms. Trang; not yet anyway' she had some investigating to do. "I'm sure this is all very confusing, Jim. You must have been dreaming and it felt real to you. I know, I've had dreams like that…"

His shoulders slumped. "Proby." After a deep sigh, he continued. "Jus sout shee uz hhere."

Daring to do something she knew he wouldn't normally accept easily, she stroked the side of his head that had no cuts or bruises. "You saved that little girl, Jim. She'd be dead now if you hadn't been there. We'll figure out the rest but for now, just concentrate on getting better…and remember what you did. Because of you, that family has their daughter back."

"Mmmm hmmmm, sshe okay?" He thought he remembered someone telling him that she was but he didn't trust that right now. Things were a mess inside his head.

"She's fine. A few bumps and bruises but nothing that won't heal in a few days."

"..ood."

Glancing up, Catherine saw the nurse standing in the doorway eyeing her watch. "Hey the nurse is giving me the sign that my time's up for now. You rest. Things will seem clearer after your brain has a chance to heal."

"Ssure? I'll eal?"

"You kidding me? You're one of the hardest heads I know. Your brain might be a bit bruised but nothing it can't handle."

"Humph…" he grunted. "…ater?"

"As soon as they'll let me back in. But the rest of your fan club wants a chance to say hi too. So I might have to wait my turn."

Nodding, Jim seemed to drift way as if he were going back to sleep.

"Yeah, you rest," she whispered. Then she patted his shoulder before turning to leave.

He listened to her leave and then turned his thoughts back to An. It was a dream, he told himself, a dream about Vietnam…a forty year old dream. "But it felt real," he mumbled aloud.

Catherine made her way up to Mai's room. She'd expected to find the family gathered there but only Alicia remained. "Anna took Vinh home," she explained to the red headed CSI. "They will wait for Jimmy and Guy there."

"He's coming home already? That's wonderful," Catherine exclaimed. "Jim…Captain Brass, wanted to know how Mai is doing," she said as she tried to explain her presence.

"She is good," the younger woman smiled. "Is Captain Brass going to be alright? We are so grateful for what he did."

"They're," she hesitated while she decided how much Jim would want her to tell the woman, "still running tests. Right now, he's having some vision problems. And talking is difficult. It's all very confusing for him. But, he was very worried about your little girl. I promised I'd check in," she lied.

"Perhaps before we leave tomorrow, Mai could say hello…thank him?"

Catherine smiled. "I'm sure he would appreciate that very much. But you'll have to check with his doctor. Right now his visitors are limited."

The other woman frowned. "We will ask." Then glancing at her sleeping daughter, she continued. "Mai told me he stayed even after they knew about the explosives….that he wouldn't leave even though no one else would come in the room.. It made her feel safer, she said. Why would he do that? He must have known the risk… People just don't do that…."

Smiling at the woman and then looking over at the child, Catherine sighed. "It's not the first time Jim's put himself between danger and the innocent."

"Perhaps. But it seems he was doing more than just his job."

After Catherine left him, Jim felt restless. Unable to see, he felt like a prisoner in his bed. And his body still didn't want to do what he told it, making even the simplest motion like scratching an itch difficult. Sighing in frustration, he wondered why he was still alive. Why hadn't the blast killed him? And as he thought about it more, he realized that he remembered very little of the minutes just before the explosion. But in his mind's eye, he could see the girl and he remembered that she'd looked at him the same way An had all those years ago; she'd looked at him with complete trust.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. They weren't the quiet footsteps that he'd learned to recognize as belonging to the nurse. There were heavier… a man.

"Good morning, Jim," his doctor greeted him. "Hopefully you're feeling somewhat better this morning?"

Jim frowned. _And you're still a dumbass this morning… _"ittle…"

Jim felt the man close and envisioned him checking the numbers on the beeping machine near his head. The beep was soft and normally probably not very noticeable. But to Jim, who was depending heavily on his sense of hearing to know what was happening around him, the beeping was obnoxious. "Ooo, urnntit uff?"

Dr. Taylor looked at his patient, puzzled. And then he realized what Jim was asking. "Beeping getting on you r nerves?"

"Yuah…"

After a few seconds and a click, Jim was relieved to hear the machine go quiet. "Danks."

Pulling a chair close to the bed, Dr. Taylor settled in it. "I had a neurologist read your scans, Jim. There is some minor bruising to the your temporal and parietal lobes that is causing the problems with your speech and may be a part of your vision loss. A speech therapist is going to come do an assessment about what kind of therapies are indicated. In time, your speech should be back to normal. Your occipital lobes suffered heavier bruising and there is still some swelling inside your skull. If there is no change in the swelling in the next day or two, we'll need to relieve it through surgery. As the swelling reduces, so will your headaches and hopefully your vision loss. The bruising, however, will take longer and will continue to affect your vision."

"Ow long?"

"I can't tell you that, Jim. It could be a few weeks…or months. And I can't guarantee that you will ever get all of your vision back. But I am hopeful. Even if there was some permanent damage, the brain has an amazing ability to rewire itself and retrain cells. As your sight does begin to come back, you may experience some difficulties. Sometimes, the stimuli provided by your eyes will be misunderstood by your brain and you'll see things that aren't there or you'll see an image but part of it will be missing. In some cases, your brain will provide an image of what it thinks should be there. For instance, you might have always had a lamp in a particular spot on a table but someone has moved it. Your eyes will see the table and your brain, knowing that the lamp was always there will tell you it is still there."

After a short pause to let Jim absorb everything he was saying, Dr. Taylor continued. "As your vision does come back you may experience other problems, such as color blindness. Because of the bruising on your parietal lobes, you may see something and not be able to identify what it is. I expect that to be short lived as well."

Jim wished he could see the man's face, watch his body language. Then he'd better be able to gage how serious this really was. Not that Jim questioned the seriousness, just the permanence of his situation. The doc said weeks or months but later said something about maybe never getting everything back. While trying to maintain and outward calm, inside Jim was in panic mode. _Never get it all back maybe? And I'll see things that aren't there? Short lived… what does that mean? How short?_

Reading his patient's turmoil, Dr. Taylor sighed. "Got any questions?"

Jim's head moved, as if to look at the man. "Um…ffusing. Ooo ed sssort turm?"

"Yes. The speech should start clearing up soon. I don't expect those problems to last long. The vision will take longer…a few months, maybe a year." He watched as Jim lowered his head, a frown on his face. "The headache is worse?"

"esss. Bbbaca ed…pwessoo."

Dr. Taylor glanced at his chart. "It's almost time for more meds. I'll have the nurse go ahead and give you the painkillers for your head." After jotting something in the chart, he looked again at his patient. "Jim, your law enforcement friends have been haunting the halls here, all anxious to see you. I understand one was here earlier."

Jim nodded in agreement.

"Well, the best thing for you is rest. I know they are all anxious and you probably would like to see them too, but even though we're moving you to a private room later, I'm going to limit the number and the length of visits. And when you don't have company and we're not busy making you miserable, I want you resting."

Jim nodded. "Uuunasand." Jim's brow furrowed as he struggled with one more question that wouldn't quite come together in his mind. He knew what the doctor had said about recovery and he knew he would need to be patient. But then what? Finally, gathering his thoughts and the courage to ask, he struggled with getting it out. "Whafta?" He looked at the doctor expectantly.

Taylor tilted his headed, mentally translating the one word question. "After? Oh, you mean after you get out of here?"

Jim huffed. "Es bu…" and the focusing all of his mental energy he forced the last word out. "Job?"

It was Taylor's turn to sigh. "Honestly, I don't know. But it's doubtful you'll be able to return to duty. Certainly it will be some time before we can even consider it. If you were twenty something I'd be very encouraging about working back into the job. But at your age…and with the other knocks your head has taken in the past, I'm skeptical. Possibly, if there is a position that doesn't require you to be in the field… but like I said, it will be months before a detailed discussion is appropriate."

His body deflated as Jim absorbed the news. _No job; now what? What's the point?_

Watching the effect his news had on the injured man, Dr. Taylor grimaced. "Look, let's concentrate on you getting better for now. We'll save the rest for later, when we have a better picture of what your recovery will entail. Okay?"

Sighing deeply, Jim nodded. "Otay." _Yeah, just put off the inevitable. I'm old and used up…and now blind too ... useless._

Once Taylor left the room, Jim settled back into the pillows and back into the darkness that now permeated him. Depression sank in as he considered the doctor's outlook and he fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

><p><em>The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to function. One should, for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to make them otherwise."<em>

_F. Scott Fitzgerald_


	15. Ghosts

Finally settled in his room and after a meeting with the speech therapist, Jim had fallen again into fitful sleep.

"_You are leaving?" She asked sadly._

"_I don't want to. But orders came through. Our unit is being shipped back home. Word is all the CAP units are being pulled out. I was hoping we'd be married by now…"_

_She looked at him miserably. "You said your captain would not allow it."_

"_Yeah, but I thought maybe I could get to the Chaplain. Maybe he could fix it. But now…" His heart was shrinking in his chest and it hurt. "But I'll come back. Somehow, I'll get back here and take you back with me."_

"_I know you will," she said dejectedly. _

Shifting in his sleep, Jim's mind changed focus.

"_Daddy, please don't go…don't leave me."_

"_I don't want to Ellie, but things just aren't good between me and your mother. It'll be better this way, you'll see. You and I can still spend time together and….Mom and I won't be yelling all the time. I know you don't like it when we yell."_

"_But Daddy, all you ever do is leave. Why won't you ever stay?"_

"Ellie," he cried in his sleep. "Come back to me Ellie…"

"_It's too late…"_

"_I know you will…"_

"…_too late…"_

"_I know…"_

"I tried," he sobbed. "Please God, I tried…"

"_It hurts. I want to go home…"_

"_I know, but we have to wait…."_

His subconscious jumped form one thing to another, causing more disquiet in his sleep.

"_If you're sure, Jimmy Brass. I trust you."_

"_Daddy, please don't go…"_

"_It's too late…"_

"_Thank you…"_

"_An? AN?"_

"_My son…and yours…"_

"_It's too late…"_

"_Many American soldiers told lies and made promises that they never intended to keep…"_

_"Greg came up with something … he says she could be related to you."_

"_My son… and yours…"_

"_Related to you…"_

"_It's too late..."_

"_Please don't go…"_

"_Jimmy Brass…"_

Jim woke with a start. "Ooo's theaa?" Only silence answered him. But he could feel something, someone in the room. Lifting his hand, he began to reach, hoping to find whoever it was. But there was nothing. With a sigh of resignation, he slumped back into his pillows again. Just as he was drifting back to sleep, he heard the soft shuffle of footsteps out the door.

Catherine stepped out of the elevator on Jim's floor and walked purposefully towards his room. As she rounded the corner to his hallway, she was met by a small woman, her dark head bent. "Ms. Trang?" Catherine called in surprise.

Anna Trang looked up at Catherine, shame written in her expression. "Yes?"

"I was going to look for you later. I'm…"

"I know who you are," the other woman said softly.

"Well then, I need to talk to you about Jim."

Anna's eyes widened in horror and foreboding. "I am sorry. I did not mean to disturb him. I just wanted to see him … to see he is okay."

"You were in Jim's room?" Catherine asked somewhat confused.

"Yes. He seems…better than …" She cut herself off realizing that she was about to reveal her earlier visit to him.

"The doctor says he is better. But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

The other woman looked at Catherine anxiously and also a little frightened. "What did you wish to speak about?"

"Your name…Anna; that's…your American name, isn't it? Was your name in Vietnam An?"

Frowning, she nodded. "I was An a long time ago."

Understanding settled in Catherine's mind. She had begun to suspect it but now this tiny woman was confirming it. "You knew Jim there, didn't you?"

Looking down, An nodded that she did. "It was a long time ago."

"Not for Jim, it wasn't… I mean, this case, your granddaughter's kidnapping; it brought it all back to him like it was yesterday."

"He…he told you about…me?" She looked into Catherine's face, surprised.

"Yes, he did. It's something that I think he never got over…" Sighing, she softened her tone. "He never got over _you_."

"That can't be true. He came back here and made a new life; one without me." Her tone wasn't bitter or angry, simply accepting.

"Well…yes, he did. He didn't have much choice. But he never forgot you."

"He has a family now. There is no reason…"

Catherine looked at her, astonished. "Family?"

"You have a daughter, don't you?"

"Yes," Catherine said impatiently. "But what does my daughter have to do with this?"

"He wanted children."

Then it suddenly became clear to Catherine. "Wait a minute…you think that my daughter…that Jim and I… that we…?"

"You are his wife. I do not understand how you …"

"Wait…no….no, no, no….you've got it all wrong. Jim has a daughter, but not with me. And we've _never_ been married."

"But the priest told me he was married. And in the ER, you were…"

"Upset because my very good friend was hurt. And what priest? When? Jim hasn't been married for years."

"When we came to this country the priest at the church that sponsored us…he made inquiries and told me he found out about Jimmy from a church in Newark…that he was married and had a baby girl."

Catherine's eyes widened. "Wow. That was a long time ago. Jim came here…well, it's been about twenty years now…" Looking at the very confused woman standing before her, Catherine's mind went into high gear. "When did this priest make the inquiry?"

"After we came to this country…1982."

"Well, Jim was still married then but it wasn't a good marriage. From what little he's said over the years, I'm not sure it was ever good. And recently, he's been talking about you…about how much he regretted leaving you."

An stood still, staring a the floor. "It took me a long time to stop hoping he would come back."

"He went back, you know…in the nineties. But no one knew what had happened to you."

"I did not know. I thought he …" she sighed. "I had given up hope."

Her mind moving forward, Catherine hesitated before asking her next question. "Is it possible…is your son Jim's?"

An looked at her pleadingly. "Jimmy does not know. I have tried to make him understand that his father had no choice and did not know about him but Jimmy hates his father. I cannot tell him who it is. I do not know how he will react."

"But you realized it…that the policeman that saved your granddaughter…oh my god, he was saving his own granddaughter…" Catherine said surprised.

"Yes, yes he did."

"You have to tell him. He needs to know…please, you need to tell him."

"I don't know…"

"An, he deserves the truth. He's been beating himself up for years…wondering what happened to you and what might have been if things had gone differently. You have to tell him who you are, who Jimmy is…"

"But what about his family? His daughter? Are there other children?"

"Just the daughter and as far as I know, she's the only family he has left. And they barely speak." An looked at Catherine oddly. "It's a long story," the red head quickly added.

"You really think I should tell him?"

"I do….in fact, come with me now."

"But, wait…I am not sure like you. I am afraid this will upset him…that he will not want to know."

"Look, I've known the man for a long time and I promise you, he will want to hear this. He will want to reconnect with you and know more about Jimmy and his family."

Looking nervously down the hall, An let out a deep breath. "If you are certain…"

Jim heard a soft knock on his door. And then he heard the shuffle of feet. "Well, look who's awake," Catherine said happily. "You feeling better?"

His eyes followed the sound of her voice. "Dink so…eadact bbbeta."

"Drugs are helping that thick head of yours, huh?" Catherine chuckled.

He nodded. "Ooo otay?"

"I'm fine. Brought someone who wants to see you."

Jim heard the excitement in her voice and wondered who it could be. "Oooo? Risum?"

She laughed. "No, better."

Jim frowned. "I tttoo unfoosed tta pwa ggame."

"Okay then. I'll tell you. It's Mai's grandmother, Jimmy Trang's mother."

Jim remained very still, his forehead furrowing. "Wwwhyyy ssshe …" he focused to make the words come out, "wwanta eee me?"

"I'll let her fill you in," Catherine said softly. "I'm going to get some coffee and you two can talk."

Jim listened as her footsteps sounded going out of the room. And then he startled when a hand touched his arm softly. "Jimmy?" the soft voice said.

He froze, his mind whirling. That voice sounded so familiar but…different. And she had called him Jimmy. No one had called him Jimmy in years, except Annie. _Damn, I need to see…who is she?_

"Your friend said I should talk to you," the voice whispered. "She said… well, she guessed who…"

"An?"

"Yes Jimmy, it is An."

His eyes grew huge as reality set in. "An, issit eally ooo?" He wanted to see, needed to see…needed to look into her eyes.

"Yes, Jimmy Brass. It is your An."

Tears began to gather in his eyes as he listened. "Tttt…uch oooo," he said as his hand began to grope for her. He calmed as he felt her hands on his and she lifted his hand to her face. "I'm much older now," she said quietly. "I'm not as pretty as you thought I was."

"Eeee tooo," he smiled, his fingers stroking her cheek. "Oooder, I mmmean. Ottt so oood ookin eder… neva retty."

"You are having trouble speaking. Is that from the explosion?"

"Ess, utit ggget etter…fffew wwweeks."

"And your eyes?"

"Mmmem too. Onger, but…otay."

"I'm sorry, Jimmy."

"I not. Mmmai aaasfe." He paused and then it registered. "MMMai ooor gggandodder?"

"Yes…yes she is. Jimmy, there is so much I have to tell you, so much I want to ask you. But most of all…" she sighed. "Most of all, I… I've dreamed of this day so many times and now, I'm … I'm afraid."

Jim's fingers quit playing on her cheek as he froze again. Then his hand dropped. Watching, An could see his breathing increase and watched as his expression changed. He looked worried. "FFFraid?"

"Yes. It was so long ago…when we loved each other. I know you have a family … children. So much has changed. We are no longer the children we were then."

Jim blinked, trying to force his eyes to see. _Damn, I need to see!_ He knew the truth of what she was saying; it had been a long time and they both had changed. But this was An, he needed to find the right things to say, to make her understand. "Mmmush anged bbbut nnnot awl. Oooo ill hab mmmy hhheart."

He heard a sniffle, like maybe she was crying and again his head cried out for the ability to see. "An?"

"I'm still here, Jimmy. It is not real to me; I held onto your promise and to hope for so long…and now…"

"Iii'm sssorrry," he said as the tears began to creep down his face. "I ttried ttta goback. Iii ddddid."

"I know. Your friend told me. She said you did go back but it was too late. She said it was after your marriage ended."

Panic began to set in as Jim wondered what Catherine had told An. There was so much he wasn't ready for her to know, what a disaster he'd been. How could she understand the mess he'd made of his life? How could he ever explain? "Wusss." He tried to gather his thoughts, make his words come out right. "Aafta ddipomcic lations agin."

As she watched him, hope began to grow again. She wasn't exactly sure what she was hoping for, but she knew she needed to give it a chance. But first she had to ask a question, one that others had asked her and she'd always been resolute in her answer. It had only been in the last few years that she had begun to doubt and now she needed to hear an answer from him. "Jimmy, did you mean it all those years ago? Did you really love me?"

So many emotions battled within Jim as he absorbed her question. His thoughts were as jumbled as his emotions. _How could she ask that? Because dumbass, you left her. And it was a long time ago… a different time and place. Besides, you've admitted yourself that you were a horny kid …was it love? Would you even recognize the emotion…especially back then? _He struggled to be honest but his mind quickly flashed back and as he remembered the way she had made him feel, he had his answer. "Eeesss, I dddidd." He gulped as he forced forward. "Sttil ddo."

"It is enough that you say you did then. We no longer know each other; to say you still love me is…unwise."

Jim blinked. "Eess. Bbbut, sstill llllove dat gggurl. Awaays ill."

As An watched his face, she knew he was speaking truthfully. "There is something I should tell you but I am not sure … I don't know how you will feel about it."

"Iiss otay. Ill be otay."

She sighed. "My son, Jimmy, is your son."

His eyes widened as a deep breath escaped. "Ssson?"

"Yes," she confirmed.

Jim's face went through several changes, from questioning to doubt to happiness and then from happiness to disbelief. "Mmy ssson?" He cried.

"Yes," she answered. "When you left, I did not know. But when I realized…I was so happy Jimmy, so happy…"

Tears slowly began to trail down his face. "Mmmmy son… I haba sson." Then it all sank in. "Aand MMai an Bin…ggganchillren?"

"Yes Jimmy, they are your grandchildren. But Jimmy doesn't know. I never told him his father's name because…well, things were difficult for him and…I was afraid to tell him. And then when Mai disappeared and the investigation… I still did not know it was you…I didn't know until they told me who saved Mai. And even then I wasn't sure it was you. So I went into your room…but even then, it has been many years and you look…different." Jim chuckled through his tears. "But then, you called my name in your sleep and I knew. But I thought your friend…I thought she was your wife and so I said nothing. But she guessed it and made me come here now."

Jim chuckled in spite of the awkwardness. "Catrin…wawyff." Reaching for her again, he smiled when she clasped his hand. "Nnnneva fffurott…" Focusing his mind to form the words, he managed to get them out. "Alwaysss rremembered you…aaalways lloved you…still do."

"Jimmy," she whispered. "Me too."

"Tttelll me…afta I llleft…"

"Yes, I'll talk and you listen. And then later, you will tell me about you. But I can see this is making you tired, so for now you listen."

Jim nodded and relaxed his head back into the pillows, the motion emphasizing his weariness. He heard scraping and realized she was pulling a chair close to the bed. There was some rustling as she got settled and then he felt the warmth of her hand on his again. Briefly, he offered a prayer that this wasn't another dream.

"After you left, my mother died. She had been very sick and I think she was glad to go. But Father, he had difficulty with it. Tuan, Tim, continued to fight but they were not enough and our enemies came to the village." She paused, considering how much she would tell him. Jim felt her tense and knew things had been bad. "Father was killed then. Nguyen, Guy, was with him in our hut. Tuan was in the fields and I was hiding in the forest. They found out about me and found me where I was hiding." She stopped again, trying to keep her emotions under control. "They killed Father in front of us," she told him after deciding not to share what had happened to her.

Jim sensed there was more to the story. He might be blind but his ears were fine and he heard the pain and grief in her voice. Questions flooded his mind but he decided to let her tell him the story without questions for now. There would be time later for the full story.

"Later, they came back and we were sent to another village. Jimmy was born there. They used us as laborers and the work was hard." An decided to leave out the treatment she and Jimmy received because of his father. "Eventually we ran away and went to Saigon. Tuan and I worked and Nguyen went to school and we saved our money to buy places on a boat."

"After three years, we found a man who would take us out of the country." Again she left out the worst of the story and jumped forward. "We were found by fishermen and taken to a refugee camp. We were there for a long time but eventually the priests and nuns arranged for us to come to America."

Jim gripped her hand. "Wwhy dddin't ooo ffin mmme? I wwoodaa…"

"Our priest did find out about you. The priest in Newark told him that you were married and had a baby. I did not want to… interfere."

Despair swept through Jim in waves. His marriage had been so wrong in so many ways and this just added to the list…was at the top, in fact. If he hadn't been married, he would have known about An, about Jimmy, and his life would have been so very different. He was sure of it. As much as he was never the man Nancy had needed, he would have been that man for An. _Who you kidding? You'd have screwed it up just like you did your marriage. But maybe not… You have a son,_ his mind screamed at him. _Would you always be walking away from him like Ellie thinks you did with her? _Hismind suddenly froze_. Ellie… _There was so much pain associated with her, with being her father. But some of his best memories were of being her father too. _No Ellie? _He couldn't quite grasp that.

He was tired, so tired. And all of these emotions and the effort of talking wore him down even more. And his head was hurting again. But he was afraid to let her go, afraid of so many things… things he couldn't quite understand.

Watching him as he processed everything she had said, An grew concerned. She could see the fatigue that was rapidly overtaking him. "You are tired. Tomorrow, I will come back and we will talk more."

_She's leaving…don't let her go… _"An…"

"Yes Jimmy."

"Dddon't ggo." He gripped her hand tightly trying to let her know how much he wanted her to stay.

"Jimmy," she whispered as she stood and leaned toward him. He felt her brush the side of his face and then her hand patted his cheek. "I will come back tomorrow and everyday and we will talk. But now, you need to rest."

Letting out a deep sigh, he blinked back tears. "Otay…"

Melancholy ran through him as he listened to her departing footsteps. And as much as he'd always believed he'd known what she felt all those years ago in her village as he left, he now realized he really hadn't understood at all.

* * *

><p><em>Footfalls echo in the memory<br>Down the passage which we did not take  
>Towards the door we never opened<br>T.S. Eliot_


	16. Footsteps in the Heart

The next morning Jim woke to the sound of snoring. Perplexed, he tried to identify who it might belong to. Finally in frustration, he called out. He heard the shuffling and surprise from the chair that An had occupied the previous day. Then he heard the groggy drawl of Nick Stokes. "Hey Jim… you're awake."

"Yeah…but you aren't."

Unseen by Jim, Nick did a double take. When he'd visited Jim before, his speech had been difficult to understand but that sounded normal. Before getting too excited, Nick decided to test him further. "So how'd you sleep last night?"

"Okay… bbbetter."

"Hey, we wrapped up the hotel investigation. The bomb was triggered by weight, like we thought. But instead of one big charge under the mattress, there were small charges strung all along the wall. Made for a big mess and a lot of shock and awe, but not as deadly as if it'd all been under the mattress."

Jim contemplated the information. "Ssso, not your basic pipe bomb?"

Nick tilted his head. "Hey man, can you hear yourself?"

"Huh?"

"You're talking is better…you got it back."

"I ddid?" He felt some of the gloom lift as he realized that talking was easier. And his head felt better too.

"Yeah, you did," Nick reassured him. And then he watched as Jim's expression changed from a smile to a frown.

"Is Jimmy Trang back yet?" Jim asked.

"I don't know. He and Guy were supposed to be heading back today. Sally was going to drive them back. I talked to Liu over in L.A. They had enough evidence from the house where we found the Trangs; Wong's pleading out. We're still looking at the evidence but I think we'll be able to nail Lily Chen for Mai. But we don't have enough yet to pin the bomb on anybody. Still haven't figured out who they guys are that had Mai at the motel."

"You're ssstill on it?"

"Yeah, Greg and I are working it. And of course, Vega. Ecklie's authorized extra hands as we need them. We're going to nail these bastards, Jim."

"Yeah. Ttthat's good. Best part is we got Mai back." Jim was thinking of it in a whole new way after An's revelation last night. _It was real, wasn't it? It's not just another dream…_

"Yeah, I'm with you on that." Nick watched his friend and colleague, wondering what the man was thinking. One thing was for sure, he wasn't thinking about the investigation. "Well listen, I probably better get back home and get some sleep. There's more processing waiting for me at the lab but my mind was pretty well fried. I did want to check on you first though."

Jim seemed to shake off his thoughts and smiled. "Ttthanks Nicky. I'm…better."

His speech therapist showed up about an hour after Nick left. She was pleased with his progress, amazed even. "Must mean the swelling is reducing quickly," she informed him. "That's good news, if it is. I'll tell your doctor. I'm sure he'll come by soon to check on things."

Jim basked in her optimism. But a slight grumble in his stomach brought a question. "Fffood? Cccan I eat?"

Chuckling, she nodded. But of course, Jim couldn't see it. So then she spoke. "Let's start with something easy. I'll get you on the lunch schedule and come back then. I want to be sure you are able to swallow and just generally see how you do with it."

A grin teased at the corners of Jim's mouth. He knew he was receiving nutrition through his IV, but he was hungry. Although he knew a good steak was not in his immediate future, the thought of one was making him salivate. The hours until lunch were going to be long, he knew.

After the therapist left, a nurse's aide came in to help him with a sponge bath. It felt good, getting cleaned up. They'd cleaned him up after he'd been brought into the hospital, gotten the dirt and grime from the explosion, but he'd been wearing the hospital since. While he'd kill for a nice hot shower, he was content with this.

A few minutes later, Catherine showed up with his electric shaver from his desk drawer. "Thought you might be ready to lose the scruff," she said lightly.

"Yeah," he agreed as he lifted his hand to swipe at the beginnings of a beard on his face.

"Hey, look at you," she exclaimed. "Yesterday you couldn't have done that."

Relief seeped over Jim. Maybe he would recover after all. He listened as she turned on his shaver. "You want to do this or you want to trust me?" She asked.

"You dddo it," he said. "II'lll practice later."

Catherine set about her task, gliding the shaver over his features. "You know, I don't think I've ever seen you this scruffy before…"

"Mmmm," Jim agreed. "Marine tttraining… "

"Even in the jungle?"

"No…not there. Wwwe got pretty ssccruffy there," he remembered with a smile.

"A young scruffy you must've looked pretty fantastic," she teased. "Apparently you got An's attention."

Jim swallowed. "YYeah… dddid you know?"

"Know what, Jim?"

"Ttthat she is JJimmy Trang's mother?"

"Not until yesterday. She thought we were married. She didn't want to cause trouble…"

"Yeah," Jim nodded. "Dddid sshe tell you about Jimmy?"

"An told me. Guess we know where he got his name…"

"HHe ssaid he chose the name as his AAmerican nname; but… he is mmmy sson. An tollld me…"

"Wow. That's quite a…"

"SSurprise…"

"Yeah. So, how you feel about it?"

Jim sighed. "I ddon't know, exactly. I mmean, iit's like a dream… When I wwas married, I wanted kids so mmuch. BBut I found out tthat having kids with the wrong pperson…not so ggood."

"You had Ellie…"

Another sigh from Jim told Catherine that there was something more there; something he didn't want to say. She watched as he seemed to make up his mind about something. "III ddidn't hhave EElie…"

Catherine snorted. "Finally, a man who admits that it is the woman who does all the work…"

"Yeah," he smirked. And then a cloud settled over him. "Bbbut in tthis ccase, I ddidn't ddo any of it. Sshe's my ddaughter bbut, I wwasn't tthe sperm donor."

Her brow creased as Catherine absorbed that bit of information and a lot of things from the past ten years became clearer. "No wonder you have such a bad taste about your ex. I knew things ended badly and that you were harboring a lot of anger, but I had no idea. Does Ellie know?"

"No. Aand Iii want it tthat wway."

"So… you raised a kid that wasn't even yours as your own… and all the while, your own child was half way around the world, growing up without a father?" Catherine regretted her question immediately as she watched the air go out of Jim. "Jim, I'm sorry….that sounded a lot worse than I intended."

"BBut it's true."

"An told me he doesn't know."

"No," Jim answered, shaking his head. " Hhhe hates me…hhis ffather…"

"But why?"

"Hhhe thinks I abbbandoned his mmother. And Iii did." Sadness settled into his features as he seemed to drift away, someplace far away. "Ttellll me… An… wwhat does sshe llook like? She was pretty … ssoppretty."

"She still is… Her hair has some gray but it's not all gray yet. I'm guessing she's about a year or two younger than you? But she looks ten years younger than she is… a few lines and wrinkles around her eyes and mouth but not deep ones. Nice facial structure. But her eyes…I think they're her best asset; she has very pretty eyes and such a gentle look. In fact, her whole demeanor is gentle."

Jim smiled. "It wwas her eyes that first got mmy attention, the way sshe looked at me…" He sighed. "I wwish I could ssee her."

"You will, Jim. You're speech is already much better. The rest will come…"

"DDoc said…. " he took a deep breath as he fought to control his despair, "ccould take awhile…mmaybe a yyear. And eeven then, maybe I'll hhave trouble sstill."

Catherine watched his expression as she digested what he was telling her. He was putting up a good front, but she could tell he was worried. "You're afraid you won't ever see again… that this will be permanent?"

His nod was subtle but even without it, his face told her that she'd hit on the truth. "Jim…" she whispered. "I wish …I don't quite know what to say, except that you gotta believe you'll get your sight back. If the doc says you will…then trust it."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"It's just… I wwwant to be abbble to see her when we ttalk, to look in hhher eyes and know…"

"Believe me, I get it. You've been handed a lot to deal with, Jim. But you can handle it. And you'll sort all this out with An."

"Mmaybe…"

Catherine tilted her head as she watched the chagrined expression on her friend's face. "So how do you feel about all this anyway?"

He frowned. "All ttthis? You mmmean being bblind? Or sssomeone from fforty years agggo suddenly reappearing? Oor what?"

"Mmmm…all the above. Plus that small detail about having a son. And oh yeah, you saved your granddaughter's life."

Jim grimaced. "I dddidn't know sshe was mmy grrranddaughter."

"But you still saved her." Catherine smiled. "And you still haven't said what you think about having a son."

She watched as Jim's jaw tightened. "I dddon't know…I mmmean, he may nnever know. Right nnow, he hhates me…or at lleast the mman who is his ffather. Wwhat happens iiif we ttell him wwhho I am to him?" He heard her deep sigh and he knew she understood how messed up this felt.

"But surely, after you saved his daughter…surely, he'll be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt?"

"I dddon't know, Catherine. I've hhheard stories… Vietnnnamese kkids showing up on the ddoorsteps of their American ffathers. It isn't ssmooth sailing. They aaare nnnot always hhappy to see each other."

"Sooo, you're not happy to have a Vietnamese son?" She watched as total despair crossed his face. He looked lost to her.

"I…I'm nnnot sure what I'm ffeeling about it all. I mmean, I should've bbbeen there. But whatever I'm fffeeling, it has nnnothing to do with hhhim being Vietnamese. I llloved his mother. Hhhow could I lllook at him differently?"

"So you love him?"

Jim shrugged. "I dddon't know… I don't knnnow him. But… he is my ssson. IIII can't turn my back on that."

"What if An tells him and he wants nothing to do with you? How will you handle that?"

The restrained flinch that raced over Jim's face was not lost on Catherine. It would hurt and hurt badly, she realized. But once he'd schooled his features, he grunted. "Ggguess I'll have to live with ttthat."

Catherine decided to change the topic, realizing that this was hard for Jim. "So when they going to let you out of here?"

Jim shrugged. "Haven't ssaid. Ttthey wwant the sswelling tto go ddown."

"Well you know, if you need anything…"

"Thanks," he smiled.

Just as she'd promised, An came back. Jim was just finishing his lunch. The nurse had been excited about him getting solid food and the therapist had been encouraging. But he wouldn't call the food solid. Still, his stomach wasn't grumbling anymore, so he accepted that it was the best he was going to get for awhile.

Someone had just taken away his tray and he'd heard the shuffle of feet as the nurse and therapist left. Just settling into his pillows for an after lunch nap, he heard her soft voice. "Jimmy?"

"An?"

"I am here like I promised."

Jim smiled. "Yyyeah."

"I brought… Mai would like to see you. They are sending her home in a little while and she wanted to see you before she leaves. Will that be okay?"

"SShe doesn't know, does sshe?"

"No. She just wants to see the man who saved her life. I haven't had a chance to speak with her father yet."

"You ssure you wwant to?"

"I thought of nothing else all night. He should know. What he does with the knowledge is up to him."

"Tthen wwait….unttil III can bbe with yyou tto ttell him."

He heard her take a deep breath. "Are you sure? He might not take it well, might be very angry with you."

"Wwhich is wwhy I wwant tto be there."

"Okay, I will wait. But for now….Mai?"

"Yyeah, I'dd llike to ssee…" he stopped, sadness enveloping him. "BBring her in."

Listening to the sounds of An retrieving Mai from the hall, Jim wondered how long it would be until he could claim the child as his granddaughter… and how would she handle that new information. Once again fear crept over him.

"Mr. Brass?" a soft voice called to him from a few feet away.

"MMai? How aaare you?" He struggled to make his words come out plainly, not wanting her to realize the extent of his injuries.

"The doctor says I am fine. I'm going home in a few minutes. Mama and Bai both said you were hurt but that you are getting better."

"Yeah kkid, I'll bbe ffine…" He tried to look in her direction, hoping it wouldn't be too obvious that he couldn't see her.

"I wanted to see you," she said from a closer distance. "I want to thank you for staying with me. I was so scared and…you made me feel better."

Jim smiled. "I'mmm gglad. Even mmore that you aare ggoing home."

"Your voice is funny," she said worriedly.

"Yyeah, The bblast shook mmy bbrain. Iit's getting better."

"I'm sorry," she said as she put a hand on his arm.

The gentleness of her touch froze him. He wanted to see her face, wanted to be able to reach out and return her gesture. A tear trickled out of his eye. He wanted to be able to hug her as her grandfather. But he had to wait. "For wwhat? Yyou didn'tt ddo anything wwrong. You are a vvery bbrave girl."

"You're really getting better?" Timid hope was in her voice.

"Yeah. Rreally. Bbut I'm kkind oof ttired soo mmaybe I'l sse ya lllater?"

"Okay," she answered disappointedly.

Jim heard the regret in her voice and immediately felt bad. But he honestly didn't think he could handle much more. "MMaybe after I gget oout of hhere, Ii'll ccome sse how yyou're ddoing, ookay?"

"I would like that," she answered with a brighter voice. And then Jim felt a soft kiss on his cheek. And another tear trickled out. "Bye," she said.

"Bbbye…"

He felt a hand on his arm and then heard a soft whisper from An. "I will come back later and we will talk more?"

Smiling, he grunted. And then he listened to their footsteps fading from his room.

* * *

><p>"<em>I believe that if I should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth I would hear your footsteps." <em>

_Benito Perez Galdos _

* * *

><p>Hmmm, don't know what to think here, the reviews have fallen way off. You are still out there, aren't you? If so, drop me a line aboout what you think of how things are going. Noticed any holes in the story, like the OCs, am I being too hard on Jim? Reviews are very inspiring, you know.<p> 


	17. Challenges and More Challenges

Jim woke from another dream, startled. In the confusion that followed waking, he tried to find a sound or a smell that would anchor him. Not being able to see his surroundings left him feeling adrift in an ocean of unknowns. Using his hands he located the bed rails and was grateful for them. _Arms are working better… coordination is coming back…That's something at least…_

Feeling a little more grounded, he began to corral his thoughts. The dream had been about An, but then he seemed to be dreaming about her a lot these days, so that didn't really surprise him. But he couldn't pull what he was dreaming back into his mind. Frustrated, he sighed and tried to let it go.

Then his mind turned to Mai. He wished he could have seen her when she visited. She'd been so scared in the motel room. He wanted to see that she was okay now. Besides, now that he knew she was his granddaughter… He mind turned over with that one, a grandfather; he'd never thought of himself in that way. He wanted to look in her face, see if he could find anything of himself, his family, in her.

_I'm a grandfather… who'd have thought that? And not one but two grandkids. Mai seems sweet, like An was… and Vinh is a cute kid. Wonder what they'll think of me as their grandfather? _Then his heart plummeted. _Will they ever know?_

_Maybe it'll be better that way. I wasn't much of a father when I had the chance. Besides, who am I kidding? Jimmy won't want me anywhere near his family. I'm the one that abandoned them…at least that what he thinks. And I suppose I did even if I didn't want to. But it won't matter because I'll never be able to see them._

Settling into a sullen stupor, Jim huffed. He was tired of the hospital, tired of people telling him what to do, when to sleep, what he could eat. Most of all he thought he was tired of all the people who came, all happy and cheerful and full of optimism. And as he tried to shift in his bed to get comfortable, he decided that he hated his bed. He wanted his bed at home. On top of all that, he couldn't see and couldn't tell that anything was improving with his eyes. Most of all, he just wanted to see.

Replaying all the doctor had said about his condition, Jim tried to take solace from the word 'temporary.' But he'd been in such a haze that he didn't even know how many days had passed since the explosion. Actually, he had no idea whether it was light or dark outside. From the sounds of activity in the hallway, he assumed it was daytime, but he had no way of knowing without asking. And by asking, he would be admitting how helpless he really was. And Jim Brass did not like being helpless.

His mood did not improve as he lay in his bed. A nurse came through to check on him and he grumbled at her. The speech therapist came by and he grouched at her. Then a new one came in. This guy was there to help him learn the skills he would need to get by while he was blind.

"Ddon't know wwhy you're wwasting ttime here," Jim groused. "This is jjust temporary. The dddoc told me tthat. Maybe yyou'd bbetter check with hhim."

"I'm here because your doctor ordered it. So unless you plan to stay in the hospital until you get your sight back I'd suggest we get busy."

"Ssttay hhere? No, I um…" _Shit, what am I going to do when they cut me lose? _The images his mind conjured of him stumbling around his house in the dark weren't happy ones.

"Well, first I need to ask a couple of questions," the trainer stated.

"Okay. Sshoot."

"Your house have one story or two?"

"One."

"Good, it'll be easier. And how is it arranged? I mean, is everything along the walls or do you have furniture in the floor, like coffee tables…"

"Um… mmostly on the walls," Jim answered as he tried to picture the rooms in his house. "Iisland in the kitchen."

"Okay, good. And is there someone who will be with you or are you on your own?"

"Ii llive alone," Jim replied.

"Alright then. That helps me know what you need to know before the doc can cut you loose."

"Yeah… ookay."

The trainer, Phil, began to talk to him about using his other senses to compensate for the loss of his sight and then had Jim do a few simple exercises to demonstrate what he was talking about. Jim was shaky at first, as Phil put things in his hands and asked him to describe them. As he began to catch on, he became a little more confident. Beyond that, he was glad to have something to concentrate on besides how messed up everything was. But by the time Phil left, Jim was exhausted.

He dozed for a few minutes but was awakened by a visit from the doctor. "I heard you had a visit from Phil," he said.

"Yeah," Jim grunted.

"Tomorrow we're going to start getting you up and moving around a little. I didn't want you moving around much while there was still so much swelling in your head, but it seems to be abating. Your speech is improving and your coordination is almost back to normal, so that's all good."

"Bbbut I sstill ccan't ssee."

"No you can't. And I warned you that it will take longer. We're going to give your head another day or two to heal and then run some more tests to see if we can get a better picture of how much of this is due to the swelling and bruising and how much, if any, is actual damage to your brain. After that, we can be more precise in planning for your recovery."

Jim nodded. "Okay." This discussion started out positively but more and more it was depressing. Now all Jim wanted was for the man to go away.

"Once we get you on your feet, I'm going to have to kick you out of here. I understand you live alone?"

"Yeah." _More depressing thoughts…_

"Is there someone who could stay with you for awhile… just until you get acclimated?"

Shaking his head negatively Jim answered slowly, "No."

"I could arrange for someone…"

Jim sighed and his shoulders slumped. _Great, going to have some stranger poking around my house and I won't even be able to see it._

"Give it some thought," the doctor suggested. "You don't have to decide anything today."

Jim mumbled and nodded again. He heard the chair move and listened as the doctor walked out of the room. Then sinking back into his pillows, he tried to drop into the oblivion of sleep.

Back at the lab, Nick and Greg were still trying to make sense of the evidence collected at the motel. A lot had been destroyed in the blast but there were still some clues. Greg found prints on a chunk of wood that had been part of the dresser. It was a long shot but he was running it against their database. Nick found a glob of toothpaste in the bathroom sink… more precisely, the spit of toothpaste that one of them probably left. It was in the DNA lab being processed. There were a few other clues. A comb was in the rubble that had hair attached and there was another piece of wood that Greg was working on. Nick found a cell phone in the corner under the demolished TV set. With dogged determination, Nick was pursuing every possible lead to the men who'd held the girl captive and who'd nearly ended his friend's life.

Catherine poked her head around the corner and peeked into the room. "Any luck," she asked as she moved to lean on the door jamb.

Nick looked up. "Nothing yet, but several possibilities. I'm working on this cell phone. It's pretty useless but maybe we can get enough to find who they were calling…"

"Or taking calls from…"

"Yeah," he nodded. "You been by to see Jim today?"

"Not yet. Thought I'd go after shift." She sighed and sank into the door frame.

"You okay?" Nick asked as he stopped to look at her.

"Yeah…it's just… well, it's just not fair, you know. I mean, it's like Jim can't catch a break. And now he's blind."

"Well, yeah…it's rough. But, if you'd seen that room go up… well, he is alive; I guess that's a break."

"Yeah, I suppose. But somehow I don't think he's going to see it that way."

"Jim's … well, he's a strong guy. He'll be okay."

Catherine nodded as she thought about the things he'd survived over the years, survived and overcome; but not without paying a price. And Nick didn't know the half of it. "Yeah, I hope so. I just…well, this could be the last straw.

"Hey, the doc says it's temporary…"

"Right. But he probably will never work again; at least, not as a cop."

Nick let out a deep breath. "Yeah," he said sadly.

Catherine glanced back at the cell phone. "I hope that leads us to those bastards…"

"We're gonna get 'em, Cath. For Jim. We're gonna get 'em."

Jim's attempt to sleep was short circuited by the comings and goings of his caretakers. If they weren't checking his vitals, they were asking stupid questions. His favorite was the woman who came to ask him what he wanted to eat the next day. As far as he knew, he was still on a liquid diet via his IV. Then Phil came by again with some other jerk named Bob. Bob was going to be his physical therapist and would be the one to help him get out of bed in the morning. Knowing that all this help was necessary wasn't helping Jim's mood at all.

Finally they all left him alone for awhile but as his mind began to deal with everything, he wasn't so sure being alone was such a good idea. _How the hell am I going to do this? I might be okay at home, but what if I need something? And what am I going to do? I can't work…what else is there. _He remembered reading stories about cultures that would take the old or infirm out into the wilderness and leave them to die. And a part of him wished for that…that somebody would drive him out into the desert and leave him.

But those feelings were only momentary as thoughts of An and Jimmy filtered into his mind. He and An might never be more than friends now, but at least he would have that. And Jimmy… well, that was a little tougher. But somehow he would make it up to his son, make amends for not being there. And then he thought of Ellie; could he ever get through to her? _No drives into the desert, _he admonished himself.

Exhaling loudly, he mentally straightened himself up. _Okay Brass, no more pity parties. Gotta get your act together. You're going to do this… you're going to make it work. Otherwise you got no chance… and you want that chance, don't ya? Do this right and you won't be alone any more._

Feeling a little calmer about his prospects, Jim decided to exercise those other senses that Phil had told him to use. Focusing his mind on the sounds in the hall, he listened for the sounds of people moving around and tried to distinguish the different footsteps, isolating each one and cataloging it for later. Maybe he would learn to recognize each person as they entered his room, he thought. That would be a start, wouldn't it? _Make a game of it…_

Footsteps sounded near his door and he briefly let the question of if they were coming into his room distract him from trying to identify who they might belong to. But furrowing his brow, he concentrated. _Heavier steps… a man probably. Yeah, the gait… long steps… wearing leather soled shoes. Dress shoes? So probably not one of the therapists or nurses. They have softer soles… Maybe a doctor… Maybe just a visitor…_

He listened as another set of steps sounded. _Softer…shorter gait. A squeak? Shoes only squeak if they're gone through water… or if the floor has recently been polished. Plastic soles maybe? Some of the nurses wear those shoes with plastic soles…maybe a nurse?_

He was rewarded by hearing the familiar voice of one of the nurses. "Just here to check your IV," she said as she hurried into the room.

Jim smirked. "You wwwearing those shoes with pplastic soles?"

"Well, listen to you," she said happily. "Your dysarthria is almost gone."

"Mmy what?" Jim asked, perplexed.

"Your speech problems… you are much more understandable."

Jim frowned. "Iii hhave speech problems?"

He couldn't see the look of concern that covered Nurse Pamela's face but he could feel her confusion. "Mr. Brass, don't you remember the doctor talking to you about that… that you would have some problems with speech for a little while but it would go away?"

"Hhe talked about my eyes…" Jim huffed. "Tthey're going tto get better. Mmy speech is ffine."

"Well, maybe I misunderstood," she said reassuringly. "Somebody gets their brain shook up like you did, it takes a day or two for things to settle out anyway. But you are looking much better today," she said as she walked out.

Jim lay in his bed, puzzled. Had he missed something? Trying to remember the conversations about his condition, he went over every minute since he woke up in the hospital. And then he remembered the woman who came in to help him…she talked about his speech. Who was she? His mind wouldn't recall her name. But then there had been so many new names the past few days…

Finally, frustrated, he pounded his fist into the mattress. "Damn!"

"Well, I don't know who you're mad at, but I'm glad it's not me," Catherine chuckled from the doorway.

His head shot up, his face pointing in the direction of her laughter. "It's jjust so damn frustrating…"

She walked closer and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I imagine it is, Jim. But you're going to get through this… you and that bull-head of yours."

Jim relaxed a little. "Right nnow, I'm nnot so sure abbout that. It…it's sso much to ddeal with."

"Yeah, but you're not one to back down from challenges…too obstinate."

Her comment raised a smile from Jim. "Only obstinate sometimes," he said lightly.

* * *

><p>"<em>There are no great men. Just great <em>_**challenges**__ which ordinary men, out of necessity, are forced by circumstance to meet._"

Admiral William F. (Bull) Halsey, Jr.

* * *

><p>Input...need input...<p>

See button below;)

Thank you


	18. Questions and Answers

I'm sorry to be so long in posting. I'd intended to post this chapter last Wednesday but my computer had other ideas. Simply put, my hard drive got fried last week. Took it to the repair shop and they fixed it but in the process I lost all my files, including this chapter. I was three and a half chapters ahead but for now, I'll be writing as I go so things will be slower. Wrote this last night and proofed this morning, so it isn't as good as it was before but I wanted to get it out there. And I was finally getting to a place where the words were flowing better too, darn it:(

Anyways, happy reading. And please do drop a line at the end. Its been a rough week.

* * *

><p>"I got a hit," Greg exclaimed as he rounded the corner into the lab where Nick was still working on the cell phone.<p>

Nick looked up at the younger CSI and nodded tiredly. "The fingerprints?"

"Yeah," Greg said excitedly. "They belong to Joey Tan. He's a small time drug dealer and generally bad boy from L.A. Did three years as a guest of the state and got out four years ago. There was a John Lee on his cell block and they were good friends. Whacha wanna bet these two are the Joey and John that the girl told Brass about?"

"Sounds promising," Nick said optimistically. "You give it to Vega yet?"

"Nope. My second shift ended an hour ago. Vega's due back next shift."

Looking at his watch briefly, Nick nodded. "Yeah… so who's on over there?"

"I think Vartann and Brian Trinh."

"Give it to Trinh. He kinda knows what's going on. He can do some follow up and hand it over to Sam …"

"Okay. Soo… you going over to the hospital?"

"No, think I'll go home and get some sleep," Nick answered thoughtfully. "Then I'll come back and finish up with the cell phone … maybe see what Archie can get out of it."

"Okay, see ya later then…"

Anna Trang walked from the elevator down the hall and turned the corner into Jim's room. She's spent time comforting Mai after the girl's visit before. If she'd known how upset Mai was going to be, she wouldn't have allowed the visit. But Jim had been so worried about her and Mai had been insistent. Alicia had asked Anna to take Mai home when she was released because Guy and Jimmy were due back from L.A. Alicia wanted to wait at the house for them.

Mai had cried all the way to the car after they left Jim's room. "I didn't know he was blind too," Mai wept. "Mama told me that he had some minor head injuries. Being blind and talking funny sounds serious."

"I have been told that it is all expected to be temporary," Anna had explained to her granddaughter. "His speech has already improved."

Mai looked at her grandmother oddly. "You have visited him before?"

"Yes, I did. I wanted to thank him for finding your father and you… and for staying with you."

Once they were in the car, Mai stared out of her window, thinking. Then turning back to her Bai, she smiled. "He must be a very brave man."

Remembering a much younger Jimmy Brass and his frightening experiences so many years ago in war, Anna nodded. "Yes, I think he must be. And a very determined one too. Not all officers would have been so diligent about finding you." After a slight pause, Anna continued. "You saw that he was blind and did not say anything…"

"I thought it might be rude," Mai replied.

"That was good. He did not seem to want you to know. He was trying to look like he could see you."

"That's what I thought too. So, I said nothing." Studying her grandmother's face from the passenger side of the car, Mai gathered the courage to ask another question. "Bai, he probably fought in the war, didn't he?"

Anna was surprised by the question and concerned about what Mai might be thinking. "He is the right age, I suppose; although there were many his age that were not there. Why do you ask?"

"I don't know. It's just… Father rarely speaks about his father and when he does, he is so angry. But Captain Brass seems like a good man. Was…" she hesitated and looked away. Looking back at her grandmother Mai finished, "Was my grandfather like him?"

Anna fought the panic that ran through her. She could not lie to her granddaughter but she could not tell her the truth either. Her son deserved to know the truth first. And she had promised his father that they would talk to Jimmy together. Sighing, she decided to say as little as possible. "He was a good man as well."

"Then why did he leave you and Father in Vietnam?"

"I did not know I was going to have a baby. And he wanted to take me with him. But his unit was sent home before he could arrange it."

"Father says he promised that he would come back for you…"

"Yes, he did. But Saigon fell soon after and he would not have been able to go back."

"Do you…" again the girl hesitated. "Do you think he would like having a Vietnamese family?"

"I think… " what could she say? "The man I knew then did not care that I was Vietnamese. And your father is only half Vietnamese and you even less. I think he would be very happy with you as his granddaughter. He would see you as a part of him."

Mai relaxed back into the seat of the car and was quiet the rest of the way home. As Anna pulled into her family's driveway, Mai looked at her grandmother and shared one more thought. "I would like to meet my grandfather someday."

Anna smiled at the girl. "Perhaps someday you will."

Jimmy was already home and waiting for them. The reunion between father and daughter had brought tears to Anna's eyes. She stayed and visited with her son as well, until he was too tired to stay up any longer and Alicia had helped him to bed. Anna left a few minutes later, heading back to talk with Jim, as she had promised.

And now, standing just outside his room, she took a deep breath. She didn't know what the future held for them but she'd spent forty years hoping against hope. She had to talk to him, had to know the man he had become. At the very least, perhaps they could be friends. But just as he'd told her that he still loved that girl from so long ago, she knew that she still loved that boy.

When she walked in the room, she found him looking in her direction. "An?" he asked.

She frowned as she studied him. "Yes." Could he see her? How had he known it was her?

"I thought I rrecognized your footstteps," he said, answering her unasked question. "And I don't know, I ccould just feelll you…"

Smiling, she moved towards him. "You sound rested."

Jim shrugged. "Yeah, ttook a nap. Thaaat seems to bbbe all I do these days…take naps and do ththerapy."

"But you are getting better, so it is good that you do these things."

"Yeah, I sssuppose," he sighed. "MMai is home?"

"Yes. And so is Jimmy. He and Guy arrived a little while ago. Jimmy's injuries are healing and in a few days he will be fine. Jimmy is very grateful to have Mai safe at home."

"Yeah, hhe is nnow. But will hhe be when he knows who ffound her?"

"Perhaps knowing the kind of man you are will help him to see that his father is not the bad man Jimmy believes him to be."

Jim blinked, trying to keep the tears that rushed to his eyes in check. "I ddin't mmean to bbe a bbad ffather. II rreally mmessed up. Tto leave you there, llike tthat… I should'e nnever ..I mean, I ththought I wwas being ccareful bbut…"

"You put a baby in me anyway," An said softly.

"YYeah. II ppromised thtthat I wouldn'tt."

Unknown to Jim, An shrugged. "Perhaps it was meant to be. Having Jimmy, having to take care of him and keep him safe, it was how I survived."

Even though he couldn't see her face, Jim could hear it in her voice. There was much more to her story, much that she wasn't telling him. And that knowledge clinched in his heart, squeezing it. "Wwhat happened tto you? Tthere are tthings you ddin't ttell me…"

Her hand was gentle on his face, softly stroking his cheek, lovingly and tenderly. "Things I don't want to tell you. Things I would rather not remember."

A tear trickled out of the corner of his eye as her words settled over him. "I'm ssorry, I'm soso sorry," he wept.

Her fingers traced back into his short hair in a soothing motion. "It was not your doing. The enemy came and…bad things happened. And then I had Jimmy and I had purpose. I would not be here if you had not given me Jimmy."

"Bbut…"

"Everyday I hoped, everyday I planned, and everyday I worked to get us to America. Because once I got to America, I could look for you."

"Aand when yyou ggot here…"

"You were married and had a child. But still, we were here. We were in a better place… a place where Jimmy could go to school and find some acceptance. In Vietnam, he would always be outcast." She paused to wipe a tear away from Jim's face. "And here he was able to find someone to love and create a family with."

"BBut you nnever…"

"No. I only wanted one man. I never met anyone else who made me feel the way you had made me feel. And…" Her voice faded sadly.

Jim heard the change in her voice and tilted his head, frowning. "What An? You hhave to ttell me. Wwe have to bbe honnnest here."

"No Vietnamese man would consider me, not with Jimmy being… half white. And besides, after the things that happened, I couldn't have children. And men who want to marry also want children."

Jim tensed. "Yyou ccouldn't hhave cchchildren? Wwhat hhapenned?"

"Jimmy…" she whispered sadly, pleading not to answer.

"Ttell me!" he insisted. "An… "

She began to cry softly. "They raped me. And the damage was … enough so that I couldn't get a baby again."

"Oh no, oh Jesus, no…" Jim wailed. "An…no…. Oh god…" His heart was cracking into pieces, he was sure of it. His beautiful An, the sweet, sweet girl from his youth… A sob escaped as he gasped for breath. In the darkness of his blindness his mind was creating images, images he knew would haunt him, images based on years of handling cases, of bastards performing unthinkable acts on her, and the guilt crashed down onto him. "No…"

An reached for his hand and held it tightly. "It was a long time ago Jimmy. It no longer matters."

He squirmed in the bed and then began to shake. "No…." Gasping, he shook his head and then threw it back against the pillows, frightening An. All the years of dealing in other people's muck and misery, all of his own disappointments and heartaches, none of it tore at him like this. His heart clinched so tightly in his chest that he thought it might implode and his lungs fought for air as his mind reeled.

"Jimmy, you must be calm… your head, do not hurt your head," she admonished.

Pulling her hand towards him, to his lips, he kissed it as tears rolled down his face. The gesture was tender and sweet, as if he were trying to comfort her or perhaps seeking his own. "An, Ii'm so, so ssorry."

Feeling a little braver, An sat on the edge of the bed, siding up to Jim and taking his head in her other hand. Then pulling his head closer, she held him against her chest, her fingers working into the hair on the back of his head. "Shh… it was a long, long time ago. I am fine now. I didn't want to tell you. I knew it would upset you."

He wrapped his arm around her and held himself close. Everything was so messed up. Yet, this felt right. "Ii'm ggoing tto make iit up tto you," he declared.

"You did not do that to me; you are not responsible for what happened after you left. Leave it in the past. Now we must take one thing at a time, Jimmy. You get stronger. And then we will tell Jimmy about you. And then… we will see."

"Yeah, we'll see." But Jim was visualizing it already. He was going to make it up to her. He would do it on her terms, but he would do it. For the rest of his life, he would spend every day making it up to her.

* * *

><p>"<em>Make the most of your regrets; never smother your sorrow, but tend and cherish it till it comes to have a separate and integral interest. To regret deeply is to live afresh.<em>"

Henry David Thoreau


	19. Wiping Out the Years?

Many thanks to Sylvie T, who took the time to leave a review. Her comments helped me know that I am conveying what I wanted to in the last chapter. I know that there are many readers out there who are being shy and not leaving comments. That you continue to read the story makes me hope that you are finding some pleasure in it. At least, I think a lot of those hits are repeat readers. At the risk of repeating myself, I'll invite all you shy folks to leave a line or two and let me know what you liked (or didn't like) about this chapter.

And Sylvie, I promise that we're getting there, lol.

* * *

><p>Nick stumbled into the lab just seven hours after leaving it to go home and try to sleep. After retrieving the evidence box from the evidence locker, he took the recovered cell phone to Archie to see what the av wizard could do with it.

Meanwhile Greg checked in with Sam Vega to see how the investigation into Joey Tan and John Lee was going. "Took their mug shots by the motel," Sam told him. "The clerk identified them as the ones who rented the room. I've got a BOLO out on them."

"You think they're still in Vegas?" Greg asked him.

"Don't know. But if they are, we'll find them."

At the hospital, Jim was being walked down the hall outside his room. It was scary, being evicted from his safe bed and guided through the doorway. His steps were small and unsteady after being off his feet for a few days. But even more was the feeling of insecurity about what he might encounter just a few feet in front of him, and he'd never see it coming.

"Use your ears," Phil instructed. "I'll watch for obstacles but today, I want you to listen for them. Today, we're focusing on bringing your sense of hearing into focus."

Jim nodded and took a tentative step, comforted by the feel of Phil's hand on his arm. Confidence grew with each step. Phil steered him around a cart of some description; Jim wasn't sure what it was exactly but he could feel the cold metal as his hand reached for it and his toe bumped a wheel. "A cart?" he asked Phil.

"It is…good," Phil answered. "Keep listening. But good use of your other senses."

Jim grunted and ventured another step. After a few more, he picked up speed until Phil's hand tightened on his bicep and he warned softly, "whoa, slow down. We've got a wheelchair crossing here," the other man chuckled.

"Oh…okay…" Jim began again and smirked when he heard the squeaking of a wheelchair cross behind him. Then focusing his listening skills to what might be ahead, he continued his trek. He concentrated on listening for his surroundings but his sense of smell was kicking in too. A couple of the rooms they passed had distinctive odors.

Somewhere ahead he heard the sound of an elevator door. Having spent time in these halls in the line of duty, he knew that they would be on the left. A little further up from them he would come to a tee with another hall crossing the end of the one he was in. Feeling over confident, Jim broke away from Phil, veered to the left after passing the elevators, miscalculated the distance to the other hallway, and ran smack into the wall.

With a grunt, his shoulders slumped, and he simply let his forehead bang into the wall again, albeit gingerly. He heard Phil chuckle from behind him and Jim smiled. "I was being a dumass, wwasn't I?

Amused, Phil agreed with him. "I've seen dumber ones," he replied. "This is probably a long enough trip for the first one anyway. Let's get you pointed in the right direction and see if you can find your way back. After allowing Phil to direct him and turning, Jim started back. He hadn't taken many steps when he brushed against the wall. "Aren't you supposed to help me?" Jim growled.

"I am helping you," Phil answered evenly. "I'll stop you if you're getting into too much trouble but you need to learn to do this on your own… unless you want someone tagging along with you everywhere you go."

Jim considered that thought and decided it would be worth a few brushes with the wall to get some of his independence back. Resolutely, he started down the hall again. Phil's footsteps sounded beside him giving him a small sense of security. Besides, he needed Phil to drive his IV pole. Jim knew that he couldn't manage the pole and navigating through the darkness.

Holding his hand away from his body slightly on the side where he knew the wall was closest, he listened for sounds of anyone that might be close. By the time he made it back to the room, he was exhausted.

Alone in his bed, he mulled over his little excursion. It had been frightening, not being able to see anything. If he hadn't had Phil with him, there was no doubt in Jim's mind that he would have returned to his room with a multitude of new bruises. On the other hand, with help he had made it. And Phil was teaching him how to minimize potential problems. In time, maybe he could survive this. And then a happier thought occurred. In time, his eyesight would come back.

A soft knock at his door snapped him out of his thoughts. "Yeah," he barked.

"Jimmy?"

Jim adjusted himself in the bed, recognizing An's voice. "An? Come in,… please."

He listened as she moved toward him and settled in a chair that sat near the head of his bed. "You look better today," she observed.

Jim considered her comment. He looked better. She could see him, see the changes that forty years had made. And his curiosity prompted a question. "Ccould…would it be okay iif …maybe I could ffeel your fface?"

"Feel my face?" She sounded a little surprised but not hesitant. And then he felt her hands on his as she lifted them to her face. Her skin was soft and warm, but not the firm tight skin the younger woman had possessed. Instead he felt the soft thinner textured skin of early aging. His fingers trailed along her jaw line then circled her chin. Tracing her lips brought memories of passionate kisses so many years ago and filled him with an urge to see if the passion would still be there. His fingertips eased up to her eyes, skimming over the now looser skin just beneath the sockets to glide over her closed eyelids. The feel of the feather flutters of her eyelashes against his fingers almost stopped his heart.

He heard his own breath catch as he sensed a shudder running through her body. This was having as intense effect on her as it was on him, he realized. Then without thinking, his fingers ran back into her hair and tightened his hold, pulling her face to his. He didn't have any expectations for the kiss; he hadn't had time to form any. But even if he had, they wouldn't have been close to the experience. Her lips melded with his, tentatively at first and then more forcefully. His heart contracted as every nerve in his body began to tingle. It had been a long time, a very long time since a simple kiss had evoked such a powerful response in him. He lost his equilibrium as his lungs fought for air. Her quick breaths as they parted told him that the kiss had meant something to her as well.

And then remorse set in. What was he doing? Even if they could recapture some of what they'd had before, he was blind and dependent. Last thing she needed was to get tied down to him. Even if he wasn't blind, there was so much baggage that travelled with him these days. He couldn't ask…expect her to…

"Jimmy," she whispered so softly, her breath brushing over his cheek. And then her fingers began to trace his face and it broke through his compunction. Feelings which he'd thought were long dead began to reawaken. "An," he replied just as softly, as if there was a promise in their quiet exchange of names. And in his heart there was.

They remained like that for a timeless moment; her hand on his face, his hand on hers, their faces just inches apart, so close they could feel one another without touching. Her breaths felt like tiny feathers flickering across his face, both tickling and soothing him. And he soaked it all in, content to live in this moment.

A shuffle of feet outside the door reminded them of their surroundings and he felt her withdrawal. He knew it was inevitable but he missed her immediately, missed that magic connection that had happened. "I need to go," she told him immediately, her turmoil ringing in her voice.

He nodded, unable to speak, his own disorientation making him mute. As he heard her footsteps that led her away from him, he gathered his wits enough to ask, "but yyou'll come back?"

She stopped and he could imagine her turning to face him. "Yes, I'll come back," she said in a shortened breath. She was struggling; it didn't take eyes to see it, he could hear it when she spoke.

"Okay," he said, trying to sound all right. But they both knew that wasn't the case.

Dr. Taylor showed up a few minutes later. "Heard you went on a little adventure," the doctor teased.

"Yeah," Jim grunted. "All the way ddown the hall…"

"It's a start," Taylor replied. "But I'm here to talk about something else."

"Okay…shoot."

"I've got some notations on your charts. You're forgetting things, Jim."

"I am?" Jim was surprised. "What ddid I forget?"

"Do you remember me talking to you about your speech difficulties?"

"Speech difficulties? Whwhy ddoes everybody keep talking about tthat? I'm ffine."

"Things are better but you are having difficulty, Jim. We talked about it, that first day. Your words were slurred and you were having trouble making yourself understood. Your speech is much better, the problem is almost gone."

Jim's brow furrowed. He tried to remember the conversation but couldn't. "There was a wwoman…she …she talked to mme…"

"Yes. She was your therapist. But she really only assessed your situation. Her report to me confirmed what I suspected…that the problem would fade as your swelling went away." Taylor paused and studied his patient monetarily. "But I am very concerned that you've forgotten. And your nurses say there are other things that seem to escape you."

If the man had dropped a brick on his head, it wouldn't have stunned Jim more. "I…I thought…" He tilted his head, trying desperately to remember, to wrap his brain around it all. "I don't remember…" he finally muttered. "Is tthat bad? I thought…memory loss goes with concussion…" he inquired hesitantly.

"It does. And I'm not overly concerned that there are facts from the time immediately preceding the blast that escape your memory. But that you don't remember conversations from the time period after you were awake and coherent does concern me. It could be just a residual effect of the swelling or it could signal something more serious."

Again, Jim found himself wishing he could see. There was something the man wasn't telling him. If he could see the doctor's face, he might have a better idea of what it was. But blind…he was fumbling in the dark.

"Let's not worry too much about it just yet," the doctor suggested. "I'm going to order another scan for this afternoon. "We'll go from there."

Jim nodded his acceptance. _Like I have a choice…_

At the lab, Archie had finally hit gold with the cell phone. He called Nick who appeared in the A/V lab a few minutes later. "What ya got?"

"Well," Archie began, "it's Carrie Murphy's cell phone. I pulled the records and there was a lot…and I mean _a lot_, of traffic between Carrie and Sally Trang up until Carrie gets popped. Then things are quiet for a day or so. Then there's a lot of activity between the phone and a number in LA."

"And?"

"And I looked up the number in LA. It belongs to…" Archie stopped and looked at Nick mischievously.

Nick sighed and grinned. "Okay, do we need a drum roll?"

"Nope, I'll give," Archie smiled. "The phone was being used to call one of Wong's numbers at the Dragon."

"You're kidding," Nick said as he looked at the screen, verifying what the lab tech had just told him.

"No. Carrie and Sally were talking several times a day and then the phone went quiet for a couple of days," Archie pointed out on the screen. "Then there are three outgoing calls on this day. One incoming at 9:38 that night and then several more exchanges the next day. Wasn't that when you and Brass were in L.A.?"

Nick looked at the dates. "Yeah, we were. So…maybe Joey and John picked up Carrie's phone after they popped her? And then used it to call Wong? So maybe Wong gave them instructions on the girl…and the bomb?"

"Yeah, but here's the kicker… Wong's number was already programmed into Carrie's phone. So I pulled the calls going back two months. Carrie was in touch with both Wong and Sally. Sometimes the calls were back to back."

"Whoa…that's…wow," Nick said as he gave out a low whistle. "Okay, um…I need to call Vega. Thanks Archie," Nick said as he took the report and headed out.

* * *

><p>A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.<br>Rupert Brooke


	20. Hope?

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  
>Mark Twain<p>

* * *

><p>It had been an emotional day for Jim. The walk in the hallway had really brought home the reality of how difficult being blind was going to be. The constant vigilance, using his other senses, had worn him out. And then An's visit had unsettled him in a different way. The case had brought back old feelings but until they kissed, he hadn't realized how potent those feelings still were. Could the love he felt for that girl so long ago morph into something lasting now? Or was this going to turn into another rehash of old regrets? The doctor's visit hadn't helped either. And the scan that followed took the last bit of his energy. Consequently, he was lying in his bed, exhausted, but his mind too busy to let him sleep.<p>

He pushed the scan to the back of his mind, opting for the more pleasant thoughts of An's visit. He knew the kiss had disconcerted her as much as it had him but he couldn't forget the sensation of her lips on his. It was so overwhelming, meeting An again, finding out he had a son, grandchildren, and now discovering that there was still a spark there… a very powerful one. As his thoughts lingered over their kiss, he was filled with dread. There were so many ways this could go bad. But that other voice in his brain kept whispering that there were so many ways this could be good too.

At PD, Sam Vega ended the call to Los Angeles. Then looking across his desk, he nodded to Nick. "That was your guy, Liu. He did some checking and Joey and John have been hanging around Wong's place. LAPD is on the way to pick them up."

"What about Sally Trang?" Nick asked.

"I'm going to question her, but all we have are the phone calls and without anything else, there's not much I can do. But we're going to stay on it."

"Yeah, okay. But you realize, she could be the person behind the bomb at the motel…behind Jim getting hurt…."

"I know, Nick. But unless Tan and Lee turn on her…or maybe Wong, we don't have much."

"Or Wong? Maybe he'll give her up. He's probably the one she was in contact with."

"Maybe he will, but I doubt it. Wong doesn't sound like the type to cooperate."

Nick sighed. "Yeah, you're right. It's just not fair to Jim though. ….just not fair."

Anna Trang sat in her son's den. Alicia had errands to run and while Jimmy was recovering from his beating, he still slept much of the time. Consequently, Anna had come to spend the afternoon with her grandchildren.

Jimmy had actually asked her if she had been to the hospital again, to visit Captain Brass. He'd expressed his gratitude, as he did everyday, for the "good policeman who had done so much for them," as he put it.

Mai had wandered into the room as Jimmy was speaking and asked if she could visit Captain Brass again. Anna had agreed and then Jimmy had suggested that she go with Anna the next day.

Then Mai turned to her father and commented, "Bai says he is a good man, like your father."

Jimmy's anger was immediate and felt by everyone in the room. "Captain Brass is a good man, Mai…. Unlike my father. Do not forget that my father abandoned us."

"Jimmy," Anna said softly. Then glancing from father to daughter, she tried to tell her son, with just a look, to leave it. But her son was not listening. "Mai, do not forget that my father got my mother pregnant and then did nothing…just left her."

"But that's not true," Mai insisted. "Tell him, Bai…. Tell him how his father tried."

Jimmy looked at his mother angrily. "What have you been telling her?"

Finally Anna had enough. "The truth. Your father did not know about you. He did try to marry me and planned to bring me to this country. He had already spoken to his father about it… and mine. But his commanding officer would not approve our marriage and before he could find another way, he was sent away. But he did try!"

Jimmy's eyes widened. "You have not said much about him for many years. Why are you defending him now?"

Anna hesitated and then glanced at Mai. "Leave us, granddaughter. I must speak with your father alone."

Mai was upset by the tension that she thought she had caused and ran from the room, tears in her eyes. Anna watched her and sighed. Jimmy exploded. "See…see what he has caused…and he is not even here."

Briefly Anna remembered her promise to have Jimmy's father with her when she told him but her emotions were too strong to hold back now. "He cannot be here, Jimmy."

Jimmy stopped his rant looked at her intensely. "What? What do you mean? Have you seen him? What do you know?"

"I have seen him… talked to him." She stopped and caught her breath and thoughts. "Do you remember, Jimmy…when we chose our American names?"

"Yes. I chose Jimmy after Jimmy Buffet."

"Yes. And what did I tell you about your choice?"

"You said that you thought it was a good choice."

"I did. And it was, but not because of the reason you chose it…"

"Then why?" And then his expression changed to understanding and shock. "Jimmy was my father's name, wasn't it?"

"It still is. I have visited with your father everyday since he brought our Mai back to us."

Anna watched as her son digested her news. He was clearly upset but she could see a range of other emotions pass over him as well. "Your father is Captain…"

"James Brass," he concluded, interrupting her. "Captain Brass is my father," he said flatly.

"Yes."

"Does he… does he …know…about me?" His face displayed the anger that he felt but his voice betrayed his curiosity.

"Yes, he does. I think he sensed it even before I told him. He said there was something about you, about the case… it brought back many memories."

"What else…did he say?" His fists were balled and his shoulders tense but his eyes were pleading with her.

"He said he was sorry…that he had left me. He didn't know about a baby. He also told me that he had tried to go back but the authorities would not let him. He did go back…"

"In the nineties," Jimmy finished. "Yes, he told me that. He said I would like Vietnam."

"Jimmy, he wants to know you and the children."

The son eyed his mother. "He is not ashamed?"

"No, he is not. He is…worried, afraid you will hate him…that you won't give him a chance… afraid you will not let him know you and his grandchildren."

"But…he is married… has children of his own…" Jimmy was obviously struggling with the sudden appearance of a father in his life.

"He has a daughter. She does not live here and he has said little about her. And he has not been married for many years." Anna watched her son somberly and then proceeded. "You have seen that he is a good man. He went to L.A. looking for Mai… and for you. And he stayed in that room with Mai when others would have left. He is blind and has trouble speaking because of it. Your father has sacrificed much, without even knowing who you were."

"But he will be ashamed to call me his son. I know it." Jimmy was still clinging to the hatred he'd carried for so many years.

"He will not." She paused again and sighed. "If we had been married in Vietnam and he had been able to bring me back to this country then, you would have known your father. And he would have been very proud of you. He talked of having a family, of many children…we both did. He wanted many children…with me. He knew those children would be half Vietnamese. It did not matter. He looked at me with only love. He did not see our differences, he saw only the woman he loved. And if you will give him a chance, I know he will look at you like that…as a son he loves."

"I will meet him. But Mai and the others, they will not know about him until I am sure."

"Sure?"

"That he is the man that you say he is. I will not have Mai and Vinh hurt by…by a… a grandfather that is ashamed."

I will take you with me tomorrow then."

"No. Later today…after Alicia comes home. We will go then and I will meet my father."

Jim was dozing when Anna and Jimmy arrived. She knocked softly and entered the room, Jimmy just behind her. But it was her gentle touch on Jim's shoulder that wakened him. "An?" he asked groggily.

"Yes Jimmy, it is your An."

Jimmy Trang stood, watching the interaction between his mother and this man who was his father. He saw the subtle smile that worked over Jim's lips as he realized who was waking him. And Jimmy saw the tenderness in the older man's face. Perhaps his mother was right, perhaps his father was a good man.

He watched as Jim took An's hand in his and his smile grew. He pulled her hand to his heart and held it there. "You okkay?" the older man asked.

"I am. But I have brought someone…"

Surprise crossed the older man's face. "You…bbrought…"

An turned and motioned to her son. Then turning back to Jim she explained. "I know I said I would wait until we could tell him together, but I told Jimmy about you this afternoon. He is here with me now."

Jim heard the other set of footsteps as they approached the bed. His heart was racing and his mind was full of questions. "You…ttold him? But I thought…I wwanted…" he tilted his head, almost in disbelief. "You ttold him?"

Turning back to her son, her hand still encased in Jim's much larger one, An spoke to Jimmy. "Jimmy, this is your father. This is the man who has possessed my heart since before you were born."

Jim's hand clinched hers tighter. Had she really said what he thought she said? Her heart was his? There was a chance? She might still… and then his mind turned to his son. What was the younger man thinking? Was he still angry? And then he realized he needed to say something. But what? What could he say after forty years?

But he had to try. "Jimmy? I….I'm nnot sure what I sshould say, what wwould be the rright thing here. I know yyou're very angry with me for llleaving your mother llike I did. It wwasn't mmy choice… to lleave her I mmean. And I hhad no idea aabout… about you." _Damn I need to see. Is he too angry to speak? Disgusted? What? What is he thinking? Feeling? I need to see! _"Look, I wwouldn't blame you…" he started again.

"I… I was angry," Jimmy cut in. "For years I hated you. But…you brought Mai back to us, to me. To be angry with you is…foolish. I am…grateful for what you did for her and for me." He paused and took a deep breath. "It is very…confusing."

"Yeah, I ccan imagine." _Now what, Jim wondered. "What can I say…do…how can I make it right?_

An watched Jim's face and knew he was full of questions… and regrets. Glancing at her son, she realized he had many questions as well. "Perhaps the two of you should talk. It might be better if I go and let you…"

"No," both men answered immediately.

She pulled the chair next to the bed, her hand still firmly in Jim's. "Then we will talk," she declared as she sat in the chair.

And they did talk. Jim tried to share his side of the story with his son, pausing time after time to apologize for not being there, and then shared some of his life since coming home from Vietnam. He skipped over the rougher areas, like his almost non existent relationship with Ellie. It was difficult, between his speech difficulties and the varied emotions that flooded through him. But he was determined to explain and answer questions.

An sat quietly, holding his hand and giving it a squeeze of encouragement from time to time. Her emotions were in turmoil as well. She grieved the years they might have had together, was jealous at the thought of him with another woman, and felt joy that they had found one another again. But she was fearful too. What if he didn't want to renew their relationship? What if all he wanted was a relationship with her son? How would she handle that? Could she?

Jimmy listened, interjecting questions from time to time. But he also watched his mother and was surprised to realize she still loved this man. He watched as a small smile settled over her face as she listened. He saw the pain as Jim talked about his marriage and talked about his daughter. And he saw the contentment that she wore as Jim talked about how much he wanted to be apart of their lives, to be the parent and grandparent he'd never had the chance to be before.

And as Jimmy listened and watched, he knew he couldn't carry his anger any farther. He wasn't sure what he felt for this man beyond gratitude, but his anger had been misplaced. Besides, it would only hurt his mother. And he wanted happiness for her. The way she looked at him and his apparent happiness with her presence told Jimmy that this would not be the end of it. Whatever Jimmy felt about it, his mother and this man were not finished yet. Jimmy resigned himself to a new beginning.

Jimmy shared some of his memories, things he hadn't spoken of in many years, stories of bullying and abuse that he endured because of his mixed heritage. He remembered the villagers and people of Saigon and their hatred of him. And although it hadn't been nearly as bad in the refugee camp, it had been there too. And even after they came to America, there were schoolmates and other children who were cruel. And there had been adults who had looked at him with hatred. He noticed the tears that formed in Jim's eyes as he listened to Jimmy and the younger man felt gratified. His father seemed to understand his pain.

Finally An stood and caressing Jim's face softly, she spoke tenderly. "You are tired. And Jimmy is as well. We will continue this another time. It is a good beginning," she declared.

Jim frowned but nodded his acquiescence. He was tired…and emotionally drained. Tugging on her hand one more time, he sighed. "Thank you," he told her quietly.

"It is plain to see that you are weary…"

"No…I mmean, ffor…Jjimmy. Ffor bbringing hhim."

Jimmy stepped forward and glanced at his mother. She understood his intent and nodded with a smile. He took his father's hand from her and shook it easily. "I will visit again," he told the older man. Jim shook his hand and then nodded affirmatively through the tears that had gathered again in his eyes. "Ii'd llike Ththatt."

With an odd mixture of elation and sadness, Jim listened to their departing footsteps. Then settling back into his pillow, he let his mind wander as he attempted to sleep. And as oblivion descended, he had one last thought. _Soon I'll be able to look into my son's face…_

* * *

><p>Without forgiveness, there's no future.<br>Desmond Tutu

* * *

><p>There are some really fantastic people out there who have read and left comments. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. Your comments make me laugh sometimes, make me all warm and fuzzy at others, and most of all encourage me to keep at it. I do this writing thing because I enjoy it and I post the stories because I hope that others might find some pleaseure in reading them. But the warm fuzzies and constructive criticisms make it all the better. I do hope you enjoyed this chapter.<p> 


	21. On the Bright Side

A week passed. After the last scan showed that while the bruising to his brain more widespread than they'd originally thought there was no permanent damage, Jim had been moved from his room on the medical floor to the rehab unit in another wing of the hospital and he was getting therapy and training several times a day. At his last session, the trainer had told him that he needed to be making some plans. He'd probably be released in another week or so and be on out-patient status. As much as he wanted out of the hospital, it frightened him. How was he going to survive at home alone?

It was Catherine who came up with a solution. After a couple of intense conversations the PD's human relations department and their insurance carrier, she arranged for a live-in. She called one of the agencies on the insurance company's list and got everything set up. And as luck would have it, they had a man in their employ that was available. He retired the previous year and did this work for extra income. So while he was a bit older than Jim, he wasn't too old to handle the light housekeeping and helping Jim navigate things. The man was willing to drive Jim to his appointments and do other chores, like the grocery shopping. Catherine was pleased with the arrangement and after she told Jim about it, he had to admit that it made him more comfortable about going home.

His headache was finally gone. There'd be occasional flair ups but they were mild compared to what he had been suffering. And his speech had improved dramatically with only a minor hiccup or two if he got too excited. But what pleased him the most were An's daily visits. Jimmy had visited also, twice. They had talked a little more and the younger man seemed to be accepting Jim's side of the story.

An had inquired about his scheduled activities and finally decided to come at lunch time. Jim had been embarrassed at first because he was so awkward and messy when he ate. But she would bring her own lunch and sit with him and talk as if nothing was unusual about him spilling his peas all over the bed or missing his mouth with his cup of tea. And since he couldn't see, she was free to let her emotions show. Worry was primary among them.

Also since he couldn't see, he missed to looks of hopefulness and wistfulness that flashed on her countenance frequently. The warm, caring expression that she wore when she was with him went unnoticed, as were the frequent smiles and even the occasional tears. All Jim knew was that she was there and seemed as happy about her presence in his room as he was.

The day before, she had brought Mai to visit again. An told him that Mai had worried about him ever since the last visit so Jim was extra careful to form his words slowly and make sure he sounded better. He even had the nurse help him to the chair next to his bed, so that he would be sitting up when the girl arrived. He thought that might help her see that he really was getting better.

She'd been shy at first, almost afraid of his blindness. But with An's encouragement and his questions, he soon had the girl telling him all about her school and her friends. He'd enjoyed the visit immensely because it gave him the opportunity to know his granddaughter better. His anticipation of the day when she would know that he was her grandfather made her visit even richer for him.

He took a short nap after they left, tired from the morning's activities. When he woke something seemed different. He was trying to clear his mind when Nick knocked at his door. "Is this a good time for a visit?" he asked softly.

"Nicky, sure…. Come on in," Jim waved in the direction of the voice. He listened as Nick crossed the room and pulled a chair close to his bed. As Jim turned his head to follow the sounds, he blinked. "Where are you, Nick?"

Sounded a little confused, Nick replied. "I'm across from your bed, in front of the window."

Jim frowned. "Is…is it light outside?"

Nick glanced over his shoulder at the window and then turned back to study his friend. "Uh yeah. Typical sunny day in Vegas."

"Move away from the window," Jim requested.

Nick took a couple of steps to the side, watching Jim's face. "Are you seeing something?"

With a shrug, Jim answered. "Not really…maybe a shadow. The doc said my brain might fill in the blanks. My brain might know it's sunny outside and know you were by the window…"

Reaching in his shirt pocket, Nick pulled out his mini mag and flashed the light towards Jim's face. Jim blinked. "What was that?" he asked.

Nick grinned. "My mini. You didn't know about that, did you?"

A smile began to creep over Jim's face. "No, no I didn't…"

"Should I get a nurse; have her call your doctor?"

"He's coming by later anyway," Jim told Nick. "He's been checking on me every afternoon. It's okay."

"Alright, if you're sure…"

"Yeah. So why the visit anyway?"

"I um… well, I wanted you to know… Sally Trang's being taken into custody. She was behind Mai's kidnapping and was working with Wong."

"What?" Jim was genuinely surprised. "Sally? But why? What was in it for her?"

"Apparently, she was working Guy to get a deal for the Trang's company to handle some of Wong's drug shipments. Wong had promised her a lot of money for her help. And she almost had Guy on board when Tim found out about it and tried to put a stop to it. So Wong had him killed. We still haven't sorted out the Chens involvement. Anyway, it was Sally's call to Wong that brought the two guys to Vegas and Sally was keeping Wong up to speed on everything that was happening here with the investigation. And she suggested the bomb."

"How do you know all this?"

"The evidence linked Tan and Lee to Wong. Carrie Murphy's cell phone was what pulled all the pieces together for us. LAPD picked up Tan and Lee and using the evidence we'd gathered, were able to get enough out of them to bargain with Wong. He gave up Sally."

"Geez…"

"Yeah," Nick said sadly.

Jim's thoughts went to his new family. This was going to hurt. That Mai had almost been killed on her aunt's instructions… Jim sighed heavily. "Thanks Nicky… I appreciate you following through on this."

"Yeah, well… you could've been killed Jim. We weren't going to just drop the investigation."

Jim was grateful for the CSI's attention to the case. He was even more grateful that the Trang family was no longer a target.

That afternoon, he told the doctor about Nick's visit and Jim's awareness of changes in the light as Nick moved in front of the window. The doc did his own battery of simple tests and agreed that Jim's brain was indeed beginning to register light. "It's a good sign, Jim. But don't expect to wake up tomorrow with your eyesight back. This will still be a long road…"

Jim nodded. "I know, I know," he said as he waved a hand in acceptance. "But… it is coming back, right?"

"We'll see how it goes, but odds are yes, it is."

Jim spent the rest of the afternoon in hyper drive. The bed seemed to have needles in it and the chair wasn't much better. He even tried walking around his room, his hands positioned as he'd been shown to ward off disaster. After the fourth trip around his room, he sat in the chair and sighed. He wanted to share his news, his excitement, but quickly deflated when he had no one in his life to share it with…not really. Oh, Catherine and Nick and the others would be happy. And An…she'd be happy too; what a relief for her and her family. They felt some responsibility for his condition.

Then his heart sank. That's all it would mean to anyone, him getting his sight back. There was no loving family glad to have the husband/father/grandfather back fully. Suddenly his life felt like a giant black hole. Oh, he'd done good things, caught plenty of the bad guys, and had a lot of friends…some very good ones. But he didn't really matter to anyone. If he'd died in that explosion his friends would've mourned for awhile and then moved on. Every now and then someone would mention him and there'd be an awkward moment before the conversation turned to happier thoughts. No, he didn't really matter to anyone. And no one really mattered to him.

But that wasn't entirely true, he realized. An's daily visits meant everything to him. Slowly she'd opened up to him, revealing more and more of the strong woman she had become. She'd raised Jimmy and supported herself and their son while taking classes, improving her English and learning skills to improve her job prospects. She'd started out as a maid in a cheap motel and ended up as a partner in the family business, one with global reach.

She'd made him laugh with stories of her travels. She'd met with business men and women all over the world, conducting negotiations for their business. Some of those meeting had been awkward and some of her stories made Jim angry. She was not always treated with respect. But An seemed to have taken it all in stride and made the deals she wanted to make, getting her revenge through some pretty cut throat tactics of her own. His admiration for her had grown as she told him about some of her little get backs.

And sometimes after she left, her stories made him want to cry. Raising their son hadn't been easy. But she'd managed to keep him focused on his education and away from the gangs that seemed to permeate the LA landscape. He knew that young refugees were targets for the Chinese and other Far Eastern based groups. And although Jim still knew very little about his son, he knew Jimmy had grown into a good man, responsible and family oriented…a better father than he'd ever been, Jim recognized.

But as he pondered his life that afternoon, Jim's mind began to go in new and exciting directions. What if his eyesight was coming back? He and An seemed to be reconnecting and Jimmy even seemed to be warming to him. Could there be a chance for him to have the family he'd always wanted with the woman he'd always wanted it with?

Negative thoughts managed to wiggle into the bright possibilities he was envisioning but he quickly pushed them away, refusing to let his usual cynicism make him hesitate. And as he settled in for the night, his last thoughts were of the conversation he wanted to have with An the next day.

* * *

><p>OKay, I'm really struggling here. My much longer than usual time between postings is a result. The big computer crash just really set me back. Things are just not coming together as they did when I wrote this the first time. So it'll be a few days or even a week or so before I get the next chapter up. I really appreciate everyone who's sticking with me on this one. I haven't forgotten it, I promise.<p>

As always, reviews, comments, and constructive criticism are most welcome.


	22. Preparations

So sorry for the long delay in posting. I think the technical issues are finally resolved. But having written this and the next chapter or two at least three times now, I think the muse is tired. This isn't as good as I thought it was in the original version, but I've tinkered with it until I'm tired of looking at it. So I'm posting and will move on to the next chapter.

Oh, and wasn't our Brassman loking so fine last night? I'm liking the longer looking hair. It doesn't look as thin either.

* * *

><p>His first thought when he woke the next morning was that it was too bright. After a few seconds of holding his eyes tightly shut, he remembered that yesterday when he woke up he hadn't been able to see any light. So happily he slowly let his eyelids open. He still couldn't see but there was a sensation of light, rather than the blackness that fallen over him in the bomb blast.<p>

Jim heard the food cart in the hallway and smelled his breakfast as the tray was brought to him. Savoring the food, taking small bites to ensure it all made it to his mouth, his thoughts turned to his decision the night before. He would talk with An when she came to visit.

The morning training session breezed by as he concentrated on speeding through it to be ready for her lunch visit. The doctor's visit gave him even more hope; another week and he'd be going home.

Consequently Jim anticipated An's visit excitedly. Listening intently for her footsteps, his hands flexing and fingers twitching, he was barely able to contain his exhilaration. Sitting in the big therapy chair, he kept glancing toward the light streaming in from the window and then back toward the door. Normally Jim would be walking the halls or looking for another outlet for his energy but navigation was still a challenge, so he forced himself to stay in the chair. When he heard her footsteps his heartbeat quickened and as hard as he tried to forestall it, a huge grin that broke onto his face.

She stopped in the doorway. He felt rather than saw her hesitation. Something was wrong, his instincts told him as his heart plummeted and the grin faded from his face. "An?" he asked nervously.

"Jimmy," she said flatly. It didn't take the sense of sight to know she was upset. "Why did your people take Sally?" She moved closer.

Stunned by the anger in her voice, Jim frowned. "What are you being told?"

"That man…Vega… he told Guy that she was involved with the people in Los Angeles that killed Tim and kidnapped Mai….and beat Guy and Jimmy. She would not do these things…"

"That's really all I've been told," he assured her. "Nick, the CSI that worked the case with me, came by yesterday to fill me in. They have evidence that ties Sally to a man named Wong in L.A. Wong was behind almost everything. It surprised me too."

"You believe that she did these things?" she asked incredulously.

Jim swiped the back of his head with his hand, the hairs on his neck suddenly standing on end. This was not the conversation he'd planned on but he should have seen it coming. "I've worked with Nick and Sam for years. They are good at what they do. The evidence must be pretty strong…"

"She would not do this," An said loudly. "I will not believe it." Not able to think of a suitable response, Jim sat quietly. He listened as she walked to the window and then turned toward him. He thought he detected a shadow… _her shadow, maybe_? As he turned his head toward her, he heard her soft gasp.

"You can see?" she asked.

"No, not really…just changes in the light. But the doctor says it's a good sign. He can't predict how long it will be but he says my sight will come back….that this is a good sign." Jim felt her hand against his cheek, her hand warm on his face, and it took his breath away. "An," he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Jimmy." She pulled her hand away and his heart plummeted again.

"Sorry? Why?" He asked, her words frightening him.

"That…that this happened to you. And when I came today, I was angry at you about Sally. Guy is hurt and she is a younger sister to me. And the children…this will be not easy for them."

"I know. But if she was working with Wong, do you really want her around your family? Guy is more like another son than your brother and you worked so hard for a better life for all of you. And your grandchildren, they're really great kids. They don't need someone who did what she's charged with doing."

"Perhaps." She was quiet for an instant and then chided, "but Jimmy, they are your grandchildren too."

"I know," he acknowledged. "But it doesn't seem possible; it's not real for me yet. I'm still wrapping my brain around having a son."

Tentatively she told him, "he is your son. You believe that, don't you?"

"Yes," he assured her. "I'm not suggesting anything else. It's just so new to me. And…."

"What, Jimmy?"

"I wanted to talk to you…to see….I mean, I know it's a long shot after all these years but I thought...I'm thinking that maybe we could …"

"Me too," she said eagerly.

"Really?" he brightened. And then his inner sense of fairness took over. "I'm no prize, An. I've got a history and it is bad when it comes to relationships. And I'm in pretty bad shape now. But your visits, the time we spend together, it feels … happy."

"You are getting better everyday," she said kneeling at his side. Her hand grasped his and squeezed. "And we have history together. That's what makes this so…"

"Amazing," he offered.

"Yes, amazing. When you left me all those years ago, you took my heart with you. It is like I have my heart back. I know we have to learn each other again, but … I've never stopped loving you, Jimmy Brass."

Tugging at her hand, he pulled her closer until he could wrap her in his arms. Holding her tightly, he sighed. "I want _us_, An. I want to see if we can find that life we dreamed about."

She stayed through lunch and remained until his trainer came for an afternoon session. When she left, it was like she took the light with her. But Jim was still happy. She knew what he wanted and wanted it too; they might have chance after all.

Each day when he woke up, the world seemed a little brighter for Jim Brass. Catherine came by a couple of days before he was to be released and brought Bill Franklin with her. Bill would be his helper once Jim was home.

"Bill is here to learn about how to help you when you go home," Catherine explained. "He has an appointment with the training people in a few minutes and they'll go over everything with him."

Jim nodded. "That's great."

Bill gave Jim a quick run down on his background. He was retired from the Air Force and had a second career working in hotel management. "In fact, Captain Brass, we met a few years ago. You investigated a murder at my hotel."

"I did? I'm sorry, I don't remember…"

"That's fine. We only spoke briefly. But I remember you… you were so intense."

"Yeah well, Jim gets like that when he's after a killer," Catherine added.

They spent a few minutes making plans for Jim going home. Catherine offered to pick Jim up but Bill quickly nixed it. "If I'm going to be driving the Captain around and looking out for things around the house, then I might as well start at the beginning."

Jim nodded in agreement. He was warming up to the guy. "Yeah Bill, but call me Jim."

A few minutes later Bill headed out to meet with the trainers. Catherine turned to Jim and asked. "So what do you think? He's okay, right?"

"Yeah thanks. It'll be okay." Jim paused and then asked, "So what's happening with Sally Trang?"

Catherine sighed. "Looks like she was in it pretty deep. Still haven't found the two who had Mai in that motel room, but other evidence is coming out."

"Other evidence?"

"There's a bank account… Wong made deposits into it but it was Sally taking money out. Turns out she was the one feeding Guy's bad habits, encouraging him to get into bed with Wong. Guy was in denial at first, but the more he tells us about her activities before the murder, the more he sees it."

"How's the family handling it?"

"They're upset. But I'd think you know as much about that as I do. Anna Trang is visiting you everyday, I understand?"

"Yeah, but since Sally was first arrested we haven't talked much about it. She was angry at first…"

"Yeah, she let Sam have an earful. He's still gun shy where she's concerned."

Jim laughed. "An? She's not…"

"She was when Sam took Sally into custody. He's still got burn marks from the heat of her diatribe."

Jim flinched. "What'd she say?"

"Sam doesn't know. It was mostly in Vietnamese. But he suspects he was called every name known to man…or woman… and condemned to all forms of Hell."

Chuckling, Jim nodded. "Her mother could get like that."

"So um…how are things in that department, anyway?"

"Okay…good," Jim replied. "She comes to see me everyday."

"Uh huh…and….?"

"And we talk…"

"Talk…about?"

"Things."

"Damn Jim, getting information out of you is worse than getting something out of Gil. What, did he leave a little book of instructions when he left?"

"No…it's a guy thing. You know that. Don't kiss and tell…" he teased.

"Kiss? There's been kissing? That sounds promising."

"We've um…talked. And when I get out of here, we'll see how things go."

"Ooookaaay then…. So Jim Brass has finally met his match?"

"I met her a long time ago, Catherine. I'm finally getting to do something about it."

"Well, just get it right Jim. You deserve happiness. And I know that despite your player days and all protestations to the contrary, you want a family."

"Always have; it just never seemed to work for me."

"Well, make this one work."

Jim nodded in total agreement.


	23. Going Home

Finally the day came for Jim to go home. After the customary red tape at the hospital, Bill helped Jim to his car and drove towards his house. Jim had become accustomed to the hospital, the sounds and smells and feel of things, and consequently had become reasonably comfortable in his surroundings. Leaving, on the other hand, was a different matter.

He held Bill's elbow as they'd been taught, so that Bill could lead him to the car. It felt good being outside, the warm sun on his face. But it was frightening as well. The sounds, ones he'd always taken for granted, were scary. He could hear cars and generally locate where they were but having no sense of their proximity unsettled him. He heard birds and assumed there were trees nearby. There were other people; he could hear them talking. Were they looking at him, pitying him? He didn't want pity.

At last they reached their destination and Jim was relieved to slip into the passenger seat. "Sure you don't want me to drive?" Jim quipped at Bill as the other man slid behind the wheel. Humor had always been Jim's way of dealing with things that made him uncomfortable and he had a feeling he was going to be using that a lot.

The drive home seemed to take forever. Bill cracked the windows, since it was a warm but not overly hot day. The breeze tickled Jim's face, again a sensation he'd never really paid much attention to. _Geez, all the things I took for granted…_

They passed some restaurants; Jim could smell them. A diesel truck rode along side them for awhile. The car turned a corner and Jim heard children playing. _A park? The kids sound happy…_

Somehow Jim knew when Bill turned the car onto his street. It felt different. The air was a bit cooler as they drove the tree lined street towards his house. And then the car came to a stop. He was home.

The first thing he did when he entered his house was bump into his favorite chair. Startled, he paused, patting the back of the furniture, quietly relishing the feel of the leather beneath his fingers.

"You okay?" Bill asked as he noticed Jim's hesitance to move.

"Yeah, just getting reacquainted with an old friend," Jim answered, still savoring the feel of the familiar chair. "Always used to come in and toss my jacket and tie here first thing. And this has always been my favorite chair for watching the games."

"Games? You like football…I think there's a game on this afternoon," Bill offered without thinking.

Jim nodded negatively. "Hockey…and it's not a game you listen to, too much action…although I suppose I'll have to learn."

"Oh, right," Bill responded, feeling sheepish about his gaffe. "Well, how about we get your stuff settled in your room and then I should help you walk off your steps around the house."

"Right…yeah…that way I'm not stuck in one place."

Jim pointed out the guest room as they moved down the hall. At the end, he turned the corner to his room. Pausing, he tried to mentally picture the furniture placement. "Let me try this on my own, Bill."

"Okay… I'll stand right here in case you need me."

Moving slowing across the room, Jim reached his bed. He tossed his small bag on top and then turned. Inching his way, he made it to the bathroom door, reached around to switch on the light, and then shrugged. "Guess that's no really necessary," he mumbled.

"You can see the light, can't you?" Bill asked from the door. "Might feel better if you go ahead and turn it on."

Jim nodded and flipped the switch. He instantly sensed the brightness as the light reflected off the mirror over the sink. It was almost enough to make him blink…_or is that just habit? _He reached for the edge of the door and shuffled past, closing the door behind him as he went further into the room. After locating the toilet, he took care of business and then managed to flush and find the sink to wash his hands. It was the first time since the explosion that he'd been able to piss without an escort. It felt great. Pleased with his accomplishment, he opened the door and walked back into the bedroom.

"Proud of yourself?" Bill chuckled.

"Yeah," Jim grinned. "I know it's not much but…"

"Independence," was all Bill needed to say.

By late afternoon, Jim was at a loss. His activities were limited and none of his usual boredom relieving methods were of any use. He tried turning on a game, but it frustrated him when he couldn't see and the play by play guy was a dumbass, in Jim's opinion. Reading was out of the question. He thought about going a few rounds with his boxing bag but he'd been warned about undertaking anything too strenuous just yet. And the last thing he wanted was to end up back in the hospital. Finally, he stepped out onto his patio and found one of his chairs. Just sitting and listening, his mind began to wander.

After a few minutes of contemplation, he re-entered the house, calling out for Bill. "Hey I need you to do something for me," Jim told the other man. "I need you to look up Anna Trang in the phone book and dial her number for me. And then I need you to get lost."

Bill studied his charge carefully. "How about I look up the number and tell it to you. I'll get lost while you dial."

Jim nodded. "Even better."

"_Hello," her voice sounded from the other end of a long tunnel._

"An, it's me…Jim."

"_Jimmy? You are calling me? Are you home now? I know you said not to go to the hospital today, that they were letting you go…"_

"I'm home."

"_Are you okay?"_

"Yeah…just bored. And…"

A silence hung over the connection until she spoke. _"And what, Jimmy?"_

"I missed seeing you. I mean, I'm glad I'm home but…I missed seeing you."

"_Me too. Seeing you at the hospital had become part of my day and now…"_

"You could still visit…or I could get Bill to drive me to your place," he offered hopefully.

"_Bill?"_

"Yeah. He's looking out for me for awhile until I can make it happen on my own."

"_Ah… I could come to your house, if that is okay?"_

Excitedly Jim gave her his address. She told him she'd be there in a little over an hour and then hung up. Smiling, Jim found the cradle for the phone and put it back. Easing his way through the room, he went looking for Bill. Jim wanted to be sure he looked his best when An showed up.

Bill opened the door for An and led her further into the room. Jim was standing next to his chair staring in their direction, listening for the sounds of her, and full of anticipation. The two men had agreed on a plan earlier and Jim was relieved to hear Bill holding up his end. "Well," the other man began, "if you two will be okay for awhile, I'll take this opportunity to run to the market."

Jim nodded, as if he hadn't known it was coming. "Yeah, we'll be fine."

"I will remain until you return," An assured Bill.

Bill disappeared quickly, much to the relief of Jim and An. "You wanna sit," Jim offered. "I'd offer you something from the kitchen but I'm not there yet with my skills," he added.

"I could get us something…if you do not mind me in your kitchen. What would you like?"

"Oh um…I think Bill made some coffee…or there is tea in a pitcher one the counter. I heard Bill making that earlier too."

"Cups and glasses?" An asked as she walked into the other room.

"Cabinet beside the sink…" He listened and heard her rattling in the cabinet. Satisfied that she had found things, he settled back into his chair.

She brought him a mug of coffee and by the clinking of ice in her glass, he guess she was having iced tea. He heard the cushions crinkle as she sat on the sofa near him. And as much as he wanted to talk, his mouth was very dry and suddenly, he had nothing to say. His brain was simply blank.

They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes until he heard her get up and move around the room. "This is your daughter?" she asked from a spot across the room, next to the shelves he thought.

"Uh…yeah. It was taken a long time ago, when she was still a little girl," he replied grateful for the conversation starter.

"She was a very cute little girl," An noted.

"She was…and she used it to her advantage too," Jim remembered fondly.

"Where did you say she is now?"

"Los Angeles," Jim answered.

"You saw her then…when you were there?"

"No…uh, I was on the case and…well, we don't talk much anymore. She's…well she's made some bad choices and she knows I don't approve."

"A boy?"

Jim cringed. "Several of them and….other things too. She was here several years ago and involved in a case we were working. That's when I first realized how bad the crowd was that she was with. After she went to L.A., things got worse. I'm surprised I haven't gotten a call that she's in jail."

"Oh, I am sorry," An said sympathetically.

"Yeah…so am I. She was so pretty as a teenager and smart too. And it's all been wasted."

"Perhaps she will change…find a different path."

"I hope so but…" he paused, unsure about what to say.

"You have given up on her?"

I don't think I could ever quite give up. But…just had a reality check and know not to expect anything, let's say."

"Why is she like that?"

"When her mother and I broke up…I dunno, I guess she took it harder than I realized. She says I was never around for her and she's right. But I was a mess when I realized just how bad things were and it took me moving here and starting over to get straightened out."

"I'm glad you moved here…straightened out and that we are here now," she responded confidently.

Wanting to turn the conversation away from his failings as a parent, Jim prompted. "Tell me about Jimmy. What was he like growing up?"

"Jimmy was a very good boy. He had to be. As a baby, he didn't cry much which was good. Him crying would bring attention from the others and we did not want that. In Vietnam, they were very cruel to him, especially other children. And their parents were mean to me. But we survived. At the camp, where the priests found us, it was better. The living conditions were hard, but the people were better. And when we came here, it took a long time but Jimmy began to be more comfortable. He wasn't always afraid like he was in Vietnam."

"Was he good in school?"

"He was far behind at first. But he caught up. I was taking classes too on speaking English and writing and citizenship. I also learned about money and the rules for when I got a job. It took many years, but we learned and became citizens."

"So Jimmy was okay in school…not picked on or anything?"

"Picked on?" she asked thoughtfully but before Jim could answer, she continued. "Oh, you mean teased. Not much. There were many refugees at the first school where he went. Not all were Vietnamese either. So that helped. Later, after we had better jobs and moved, his school was mostly white and Mexican. There was some teasing at first. But it wasn't as bad as before and Jimmy it. Eventually they quit. In high school he became very popular with some of the students. They didn't seem to care that he was half Vietnamese."

Jim nodded, his chest hurting for the pain they had endured. "I wish I had been there. Kids are brutal sometimes."

"It could have been worse. There were many who did not ever leave Vietnam. They continue to live as bui doi. Jimmy did not grow up with that. Oh, he heard similar things but not as much as he would have if we stayed. And there have been good friends too. It did hurt, not having a father. I think that is why he is so protective of Mai and Vinh; he wants better for them."

"All fathers do," Jim acknowledged, the thought of his son growing up without a father. It hurt knowing what he'd missed.

He felt An move closer again. "Jimmy, while you are recovering…"

"What?"

"I would like to help. I know you have Bill here but….I would like to help too. How can I help you?"

Jim felt the life drain out of him. So it was just pity and gratitude after all. "You don't need to…really. I'll be okay," he answered flatly.

Her fingers wrapped around his forearm gently. The sensation both warmed him and chilled him. He wanted her touch, craved it but not like that, not in pity.

"Jimmy, I know you will be okay. But I want to spend time with you…give us a chance to know each other again."

His heart soared. So that was it? She wanted to spend time getting to know him. "Yeah, okay. I get it. I'm sure Bill won't mind a little help," he said quickly.

"So I will come back tomorrow afternoon and help," she declared.

"Yeah….tomorrow." _Have to think of a way to get Bill out of the house again…_

* * *

><p><em>Still not quite back in the grove with this but it is getting better. So Jim wants Bill out of the house while An's around, heh? WOnder what his devious little mind is cooking up? Let me know how it's working for you...<em>


	24. Finding the Way

Hope you enjoy. Sorry for the delay.

* * *

><p>The following afternoon, Bill noticed that Jim seemed anxious. "You okay?" he asked his charge.<p>

Jim's head swiveled as he "looked" at Bill. "Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" he asked gruffly.

"You just seem nervous."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I am. An said she would come back this afternoon."

"I thought you wanted her to come," Bill said.

"I did…do, but…"

"You two have a history…from before the explosion, I mean?"

"Yeah, we do. I knew her in Vietnam. My unit was assigned to her village."

"Wow. Small world."

"No kidding. Anyway, when she came to see me in the hospital, it was like…well, like the years in between disappeared."

"So you had a thing for her back then?" Bill asked.

"Yeah, that and more. I had put in the papers to marry her but my CO wouldn't sign them. We were reassigned before I could make it happen."

So…she's free now? Single, I mean."

"Yeah, she never married," Jim confided.

"So you're thinking maybe you can pick up where you left off?" Bill asked skeptically.

Jim shook his head. "No. Too much had happened in between. But maybe we can…I dunno, start over?"

Bill shrugged. "Well, maybe. But one thing is certain; you don't need me in the middle. I have a couple of errands I need to run, so I'll disappear while she's here. If that's okay?"

"Yeah, that'll be great." Jim grinned. "I don't mean to chase you off all the time but…"

"No, it's okay. I get it." Bill grinned back at Jim, noticing how much calmer the man seemed. "Maybe next time I'll hang around and get to know her a little. But you two need some one on one probably."

An showed up about an hour later. Again Bill let her in the house, made his excuses, and left. It all happened so quickly, Jim was a little embarrassed. Surely An had noticed that the other man was leaving as soon as she arrived.

"Your helper seemed to be in a hurry," An commented.

"Yeah, he um…had some stuff to take care of. He wanted to get it done so he can get back before you need to leave."

"Ah….okay. Then it is not because…" her voice dropped off.

"Because of what?" Jim asked.

"I'm…Vietnamese." She was quiet, self-conscious.

"No…no… he just had some things to take care of. He said that maybe next time you come over he can get to know you a little. Besides, he thought we might like having some time together…alone, you know?"

Her sigh was audible. "Yes…oaky. I would like that."

Jim chuckled. "To get to know him…or to spend alone time with me?"

"Both. But I do enjoy out time alone, when we can talk."

"So, how is the family? Is Mai feeling better?"

"She is recovering. She still has bad dreams, but not as many. Jimmy's wounds have healed and he will go back to work tomorrow. Vinh has started having bad dreams though."

"Vinh? Maybe he's worried about his father going back to work?"

"Perhaps. But his dreams seem more about Mai. And he says you are in his dreams too."

"Me? We only met one time."

"Apparently you made quite an impression. He talks about you…about the man that saved his father and his sister."

"Oh," Jim sighed sadly. Inwardly he had hoped that maybe the boy had connected with him in some way. He didn't want to be that guy who saved his family. He wanted the boy to look at him as family.

"It will be okay, Jimmy," An said soothingly. "He does not know who you are to him. When they are told, he will be excited. And so will Mai."

"So only you and Jimmy know?"

"Yes. Jimmy has not even told Alicia. She knows there is something… but she thinks it has to do with Mai's kidnapping or Jimmy's beating. Jimmy is still trying to find peace about you. He is not ready to tell the others yet."

"Okay, fair enough." But Jim felt deflated.

"Jimmy?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you show me the rest of your house? I have only seen this room and the kitchen."

"Sure," he said as he stood. Carefully stepping across the room, he moved toward the dining room. "This is supposed to be the dining room," he explained. He could imagine the expression on An's face as she studied the room. There was a desk in the middle of the far wall and a bookshelf in the corner with a chair nearby. A big screen TV was on the opposite wall. "But since it's just me, I eat in the breakfast nook in the kitchen. I use this room as a den."

"And you have a really big screen TV for watching the sports," An teased.

"Yeah, I uh…haven't turned it on since…"

"Of course," she replied. "And the rest of the house?"

"Uh…yeah," he answered as he turned and began to step off the distance to the hall. He felt her hand work into the crook of his elbow and it both consoled him and scared him. They moved slowly down the hall and he pointed to the bedroom door that Bill was using. "Bill's in that room; it's the guest room" They moved a couple of steps and he nodded to the opposite side of the hall. "That's the bathroom." And then moving farther down the hall, he stopped in the doorway. "This is my room," he explained. "There's a bathroom over there," he added as his hand swept in the general direction of the bathroom door.

An looked in the door. It was a very masculine room, dark furniture but sparse. His bed was a mess. Making his bed was obviously not a priority. Had it been before the explosion? The rest of his house was very neat and tidy. There was a picture on his bedside table of a little girl. His daughter? A box was open on his clothes chest. In it she glimpsed several watches. And the closet door was slightly ajar, revealing a line of suits.

Turning her attention back to him, she commented simply. "You have a nice house. I am surprised that a man keeps such a clean house," she joked.

Jim smiled. "My room is a mess right now. But yes, I like a neat house." Then he shrugged. "It isn't hard since it is just me."

"Yes, I find it much easier to keep things clean since Jimmy moved out. Sometimes I miss the …disorder."

Jim flinched. "Yeah…I was pretty rough on my ex about keeping a clean house but sometimes I think I wouldn't mind having someone around to disturb things."

He turned and led her back to the living room. "So that's pretty much it. I lived in an apartment when I first moved here and bought this house after a couple of years. I just couldn't get used to apartment living and the management always called me whenever there was trouble on the premises. It got old."

"We lived in an apartment in Los Angeles. It was large but …it never felt like our home," An offered. "Jimmy married Alicia and moved out and I didn't like staying there. Then we moved here. He and Alicia bought their house and I found a small one nearby. Mai and Vinh can walk to my house when they want to see me."

"That's great," Jim nodded. "I'm sure they go over a lot."

"They do. And when they know about you, they will want to see you often too."

They sat on the sofa, close but not too close. Jim deliberated for a moment and then asked, "An, I'd like to take you to dinner one night. Except you'll have to drive, of course. But I'd like for us to go out…like on a date."

He was nervous and her hesitation made it worse. But finally she spoke. "I would like that,"' she answered. "But I have not… there have been few dates … or men in my life since you... and even then it was over business."

Jim was stunned. "No men… None?"

"No," she admitted.

"What, are the men in L.A. crazy?"

An laughed. "No, I have been asked. But no one interested me."

Something stirred deep within him. Had she turned down all comers because of…him?

"Well, those guys should've tried harder. But I'm glad you turned them down. One of them would have married you by now. And you wouldn't be here. So, dinner…tomorrow night?"

"Yes, I like that."

Jim was nervous as he dressed. Bill helped him find the clothes he wanted to wear, matching the shirt and tie to the suit Jim told him he wanted. He had just finished with his tie when he heard the doorbell. Bill started for the door but Jim stopped him. "I want…I…"

Bill smiled. "Of course. Well, you have a nice night and let me know if you need help when you get back." Then he disappeared down the hall to his room.

Jim opened the door and smiled. "An?"

He heard a soft chuckle. "You look very nice, Jimmy," she said.

"Um, thank you. You do too."

She chuckled again. "You can not know. Perhaps I am ugly and wearing pajamas," she teased.

"No, in my mind I can see you and you are beautiful."

"I'm afraid for when you get your sight back," she said lightly.

"Why?"

"Because I think I like the way you see me…in your mind. You might not like the real me."

"I'm sure I don't look like how you've thought of me for the last forty years."

"No, you are not… your hair is darker."

Jim snickered, "and not so much of it?" Then shifting, he stepped out of the door. "You ready?"

"Take my arm; I'll show you where the car is."

He slid his hand into the crook of her elbow and after a hesitant few steps they found a walking pace. She led him to the car, made sure he was okay getting in, and then hurried around to the driver's side. Once inside, she noticed he was fidgeting.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, um…I've just always driven ...on dates that is."

An laughed. "Next time you drive then," she teased.

Jim sat quietly for a minute and then asked, "so what do you look like, right now I mean?"

He heard An sigh. "I am wearing a dark blue dress. It is American made but has a little Vietnamese in the design. The sides have little slits at the bottom, at my knees."

"Okay, so your blue dress matches my blue suit. But what do you _look _like?"

"Oh well… I am the same as I was only older. My head comes to your shoulders when we are standing. My hair is dark but the gray is taking over. I keep it short, unlike when we knew each other before. The back is at my collar and I have bangs that are parted on the right. My eyes are still brown and …what else?"

"I know you have a few curves that you did not have before. I felt that when we hugged at the hospital."

He heard her chuckle. "Are you saying I am a fat old mama now?"

"No," he grinned. "I'm saying you've developed some interesting angles since I saw you before." He paused and then asked, "who do you look more like, your mother or your father?"

"My mother, I suppose. My face is long and angular like hers and thankfully I do not have my father's large nose."

Jim grunted. "So I guess you like my nose then?"

"Your nose is fine, Jimmy. I think you have broken it sometime? But my father's…it just kept getting wider and wider and bigger and bigger," she giggled. "Mine is not so big. I used to not like it but I think it is better than having his nose."

Jim sighed. "I wish I could see you."

"You will. That is what the doctor says, isn't it? That you will see?"

"Yeah, but…it's not soon enough for me."

"Then when we get to the restaurant, I will let you feel my face and you will see. There was an old woman at the refugee camp who was blind. She felt everyone's face and said then she knew what we all looked like. Maybe you will know what I look like if you feel my face."

"Don't know about that," Jim teased. "But I wouldn't mind feeling you up at all."

The sound of her nervous giggle lightened Jim's mood. "I'm sure you wouldn't," she finally replied.

* * *

><p>So how do you think things are going? Too fast, too slow, just right? Drop me a line and let me know. Wait, let me look...yes, the little button is still there.<p> 


	25. Date Night Brass Style

Jim gave An directions to the restaurant he'd decided on. Bill had helped him with the arrangements, making sure they'd be seated in a quiet corner and ensuring that the server wouldn't do anything potentially embarrassing for Jim. But still, Jim was nervous. This was his first time to be out in public since losing his sight and his confidence waned as they drove.

Sensing his dread, An tried to make small talk as she drove, trying to relieve his anxiety but it wasn't working. Finally pulling into the parking lot for the establishment, she sighed. Parking her car, she turned off the ignition and turned to Jim. "If you aren't ready for this…" she started to say but he cut her off.

"No, it's okay…I mean, I am nervous…a little but…I want to do this. I want to take you to dinner, for us to have a date," he said, sounding more confident than he felt. Then another thought occurred to him. "But if you don't want…"

"I do," she answered hurriedly. "I have been waiting for many years for this or something like it. But I can wait a while longer if you need to."

Feeling a surge of confidence, Jim smiled. "Then let's go inside. I'll be better once we're inside. I just… well, this is important to me for many reasons."

"Many reasons? Besides going into public?"

"Yeah."

"What other reasons, Jimmy?"

"They're all about you," he said softly. "I've been waiting for this for a long time too."

They walked arm in arm into the small Italian restaurant. Joe, the owner saw them and was beside Jim immediately. "Captain Brass, it is good to see you again. Let me show you and your lady to your table," he said as he led the way to the back corner.

Jim knew what he planned to order. He knew the menu of this place well, one of the reasons he chose it. But he was sure An would need a few minutes to peruse the items. So he ordered wine while she considered her options.

By the time the waiter made it back with the wine, An had made her choice and they ordered. They continued to talk while they waited with An sharing a story about a small restaurant in Los Angeles that this one reminded her of.

Just as she finished her story, Jim heard a familiar voice. "Hello Captain Brass. I am surprised to see you here. I heard that you had been injured," Heather Kessler said in her low sultry voice.

"I was," Jim replied, "but I'm better now."

"That is indeed news," she offered.

"Since when, La…Dr. Kessler. It is Doctor, right?"

"Yes, but we've known each other far too long for such formalities."

In truth, Jim had matched her opening tone. She'd called him Captain Brass so he'd believed she wanted things on a more formal footing. "Yeah well, I didn't hear you calling me Jim."

"My apologies."

Jim could picture her surveying An, wondering what the connection might be. He really didn't care what Heather Kessler thought about anything but he didn't want An getting the wrong idea. But it was also obvious that Heather wasn't going away until her curiosity was satisfied. "An, this is Dr. Heather Kessler. Our paths have crossed on some cases that I've worked. Dr. Kessler, An Trang…" he wasn't sure how to introduce her to the dominatrix.

Sensing Jim's uncertainty, An filled in. "Jim and I have been friends for many years."

Jim could feel Heather's gaze on them. "Friends," she said thoughtfully.

Jim could feel the blood rising as her implications sank in. "Yes, friends," he growled. "And since when do you care what happens to me?" he bit out.

"Well, you are one of Vegas' finest. Of course I care," she said in that dripping voice that always grated Jim.

"Okay, so you've shown your concern. Now if you'll excuse us, we have some catching up to do. Don't you have some milquetoast you have to go dominate?" he snapped testily.

"Ouch, someone's claws are sharp tonight," Heather cooed. "I am glad to see that you have recovered…Jim. I hope to see you again soon. Our encounters are always so…interesting."

"Yeah…whatever," he answered, rolling his eyes.

He listened as she walked away and then felt An lean over. "Who is that woman?"

He debated keeping his answer short, not wanting to expose her to that part of his life. But quickly he decided that would be a mistake. If he wanted this to work he needed to be upfront with her. "She used to have a place called Lady Heather's Domain where she ruled as a dominatrix. She always claimed things were on the up and up but if you ask me, it was little more than a bordello. We had a few cases that involved her employees or people close to her, once we even investigated an attack on her."

"But you said she is a doctor?"

"Of Psychology. Now she's a sex therapist. Only a step away from her former profession, if you ask me. But she did get out of the business and is trying to play it legit. She has a granddaughter and I guess she decided that wasn't the best business if she wanted to see her granddaughter"

"You sound as though you admire her?"

"Admire her? No. She's a smart woman and all but…no. Because she so is smart and she had the chance to make better choices. Instead she went for the seedier side of things. She was interesting, for awhile, but…well, only because she was so far out there and she got under the skin of one of my friends. Besides, whenever her name pops up, trouble is usually close behind."

"Ah," An said simply.

And then it hit Jim like a two by four on the head. An was jealous on some level. "You don't think…she and I…we never…"

He heard the soft chuckle that escaped An. "I am happy to hear that. She is very beautiful. And I am not sure what I thought when she came to the table. But I am glad you and she never…"

Suddenly Jim felt guilty, very guilty about the years he'd wasted chasing skirts; even guiltier about marrying another woman when this one had obviously turned down any opportunities she'd had because she'd hoped he would reappear one day. But he'd always assumed that book was closed to him after he left Vietnam, that she'd moved on, married one of the villagers or something. He'd never dreamed that she had tried to wait for him…never lost faith in him.

The meal was quiet, in part because of Jim's onset of guilt and also because he had to concentrate to be sure the food actually made it to his mouth. He didn't want to be an embarrassment for her, shoveling his food and spilling half of it.

When they'd finished eating, Jim had recovered some of his confidence and settled some of his guilt. "I hope…I mean, I don't think I made too much of a mess of things," he said lightly, hoping it was the truth.

He could hear the smile in An's voice as she replied. "No, you did very well. Except there is…here, let me help you," she said as he felt the light touch of her fingers on his chin. The soft feel of her napkin followed as she dabbed a spot on his face, between his chin and his cheek. Her touch felt good and he briefly wished he'd made a bigger mess of his face. As the pressure of her touch lightened and he realized she was almost done, he reached up and grabbed the hand that held his chin. Covering her tiny fingers with his large paw, he pulled them to his lips, gently kissing each one.

"Thank you," he said almost breathlessly.

"For what?" An asked, genuinely surprised.

"For that, for tonight, for…" he shrugged, "having faith in me even though I don't deserve it."

"Jimmy," she whispered, her voice full. "You did deserve it… you have saved my…our family. It is I who should thank you."

They lingered over the last of the wine and then after he paid the bill, Jim let An lead them back into the parking lot. They had almost made it to the car when he heard hurried shuffling feet behind them.

Instinctively he turned, pushing An behind him. But of course he couldn't see who was approaching or discern their intention.

"Aw, ain't that cute Mickey…he's tryin' to protect her."

Jim tilted his head, trying to use his hearing to get a location on the guy.

"Yeah…real sweet if ya ask me," another voice sounded just to the left of the first one. Jim guessed them to be about ten feet away, too far for him to be very effective.

"Makes me wonder what's so special about the little chink," the first guy said menacingly.

Jim felt An tense behind him. "Jimmy," she whispered, "let's just go."

"Yeah _Jimmy_, why don't you just go…after ya give us what's in your wallet there," the leader said.

Jim started to reach for his wallet. "Okay, but I don't have much cash left after dinner," he told them.

"That's okay," the second one said. "The chink'll make it up to us, won't you honey?"

The hairs on the back of Jim's neck bristled. "Look guys, you can have my cash, the credit cards…whatever, but you don't touch the lady."

"Lady," the leader scoffed. "She ain't no lady, she's just another one a them chink whores…"

Listening intently to the location of the voice, Jim tried to push back his anger. He wasn't exactly in a position to take these two on. "An," he spoke softly, "get in the car."

"Yeah," the follower said eagerly. "It'll be more comfortable on the back seat than on the ground."

Jim realized the second guy had stepped closer. Both men were moving closer. If he could just get An in the car, he might have a chance to keep her from being hurt. He heard her unlock the door and open it. He also heard the shuffling feet moving her way. The car door slammed and Jim hoped An was using her cell to call for help. After that, he was too busy to think about much else.

As the follower moved to Jim's right, Jim moved to block him. The leader moved straight at Jim who used his boxing experience to take a blind jab at him while winding up for a swing at the other man.

He had the pleasure of feeling his left fist connect before all hell broke loose and he went down. He knew he didn't stand a chance but he was trying to buy time. He heard the car horn start to blare just before things went dark.

When consciousness crept back over him, Jim wondered what the hell had happened. And then it hit him as surely as the blows the two perps had laid on him. He pushed himself up trying to get to An. "An?" he called out.

"It's alright Captain Brass," Joe said at his right ear. "She's fine. Callie is with her inside. We heard the commotion and I brought a couple of my waiters out. Those guys took off before we could get to them. Big suckers though. You shouldn't have tried to take them on."

"Didn't have much choice," Jim said as he ruefully rubbed his head. "But An is okay?"

"Yeah…upset but okay. She'd already called 911 by the time we got out here." As if to prove his point, sirens sounded in the distance.

"Your lady friend was pretty pissed," Joe continued. "You're going to get an earful when she gets back out here."

"Why…why'd Callie take her inside," Jim asked, trying to make sense of things.

"Had to do something; she was trying to chase down those two thugs."

"What? She what?" Jim exclaimed.

"Yeah, came out of the car and took off after them. Jason had to run her down and stop her. She was so upset, I had Callie and Jason walk her inside…promised Tony and I would stay here with you in case those bums came back."

Jim shook his head in confusion, which was a mistake. His responding groan was muffled by the sound of the emergency vehicles pulling in though.

An hour later, Jim sat on a gurney in the ER. "Hell no," he bellowed. There was no way he was going to spend the night in the hospital.

"Please Mr. Brass," the ER resident begged. "We need to be sure you are okay, especially since you blacked out and especially after your recent head injury."

"No. I'm not spending another damn night in this damned hospital. I just got out and I'm going to stay the hell out!"

"No you are not," Dr. Taylor spoke gruffly from the doorway. "You are staying here overnight and longer if necessary. We need to run another scan and see if your latest incident did anymore damage to your already scrambled brain. What made you decide to take on two thugs, Jim?"

"They um… they were trying to rob me."

"So give them your wallet," Dr. Taylor said acerbically.

I was going to but then they threatened the lady I was with."

"You mean that little Oriental firebrand that one of the nurses is corralling in the waiting room?"

"Uh…An?"

"She's the same woman who visited you everyday when you were here before isn't she?"

"Yeah. I took her out to dinner…well, she drove but…"

"I knew you were friends, but I didn't realize she was worth getting killed over," the doctor quipped.

Jim bristled. "I'm a cop…was a cop, I mean. It's my sworn duty to protect her."

His voice softening, Dr. Taylor replied. "And even more because it _was_ her, right?"

Jim shrugged. "Yeah." The letting out a sigh, Jim broached his main worry. "So you think I could've messed up the recovery? I might be…blind forever?"

"Don't know yet what might have happened but I seriously doubt you've made anything permanent, which is one reason why you should stay here. Let me run the scan and we'll go from there. Other than a nasty shiner and a bruise on your jaw, everything looks okay on the surface but we won't get a whole picture without that scan."

"Okay, I'll stay," Jim agreed, defeated.

"Just give me a day or two, Jim," Dr. Taylor said gently. "Then we'll kick you out of here if everything checks out."

"Do you think…can An come in? I'd like to …see her," Jim said sheepishly.

Taylor chuckled. "I'm sure the nurse won't mind at all."

Jim heard An's footsteps and felt it when she approached him. "Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I think so. They want to keep me overnight. Dr. Taylor wants to run another scan just to be sure I didn't break my brain. An, I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I couldn't protect you…" Jim said abashedly.

"I am fine, Jimmy Brass. You are the one who took the beating, remember? You kept them away for me to get in the car and call help to come. You protected me, but even if you didn't it would still not be your shame."

"It's my job…as a detective and as a…a…" He couldn't decide how to finish.

"As what?"

"A friend…."

"I hope that we are more than friends, Jimmy," she whispered as she stroked the uninjured side of his face.

Relaxing for the first time since he'd heard the two thugs coming at them, Jim smiled. "Me too."

* * *

><p>Didn't really set out to land Jim back in the hospital. I will admit though that I enjoyed writing An's reactions to things. Since she didn't even make an appearance for many chapters, I feel like I need to bring her more into focus. So how am I doing?<p> 


	26. Dinner

"I have good news, Jim," Dr. Taylor said as he walked into Jim's room the next morning.

Jim grunted. "Unless you're here to tell me I'm going home…"

"Exactly," the doctor smiled.

"Guess my timing was pretty good then," Bill said from the chair beside Jim's bed. He'd arrived a few minutes earlier to check on Jim.

Dr. Taylor looked across at the older man. "It is. The paper work will be ready soon and then we're kicking this slacker out of here."

"So everything is okay…inside my head?" Jim asked.

Doctor Taylor laughed. "Won't go so far as to say that," he quipped. "But you seem to have a really hard one. There are still signs of the bruising and some residual scarring, but you didn't do anymore damage. Looks like things are progressing…even saw a little improvement from your last one."

A bittersweet smile crawled across Jim's features. "A little improvement?"

"Patience, Jim. You know this isn't a quick fix," the doctor warned.

With a deep sigh, Jim nodded. "Yeah, I know."

Dr. Taylor left after a brief check of his patient and Jim turned to Bill. "I want to call An."

He heard a quiet chuckle from Bill. "Thought you might," he said. Then Jim listened as the other man reached for the phone and dialed her number. Bill transferred the handset to Jim just in time for him to hear her answer.

"An?" he asked quickly.

"Jimmy, it is you? I am coming to see you…"

"Yeah…uh…I'm getting out of here in a few minutes. So you can come to my house maybe."

"That is good. Then you were not badly hurt?"

He could hear the worry in her voice and it gave him an odd since of comfort. It felt good to have someone in his life that worried about him. "No. Doc says he even saw a little improvement since the last scan."

"This is good," she said happily.

"Yes," he said feeling better than he had a few minutes before.

"I will come over…tonight…and fix your dinner," she declared, her tone leaving no room for argument.

"Okay," he agreed readily. "Bill too or do I need to kick him out?" he asked mischievously.

"He can stay," she replied. "But I would like some time with just you."

"Uh…me too," Jim answered. "So what time?"

"I will be there at 5."

Grinning, Jim agreed.

Two hours later, Jim was back in his home. Once Bill led him inside, the older man released Jim. "Okay, you're inside now…don't need me babysitting…unless you're planning on taking on anymore bad guys?"

"No…but I did hit one of them, you know. Not bad for a blind man."

Bill laughed. "Not bad at all."

By five o'clock, Jim was pacing his hallway. Bill had helped him select his clothes. They'd decided to keep it simple so Jim was wearing jeans and a polo. His happiness at dressing himself was followed by chagrin that such a small thing seemed like such a big accomplishment these days. As they'd worked out what he wanted to wear, Bill had suggested they organize his closet so that he could find and match things on his own. Jim liked the idea and they'd worked out a system for him to identify things that worked together.

In the process, Jim had accepted that he was going to be blind for awhile and he needed to make adjusts to reclaim some of his independence. Couldn't expect Bill to stay with him forever, he'd reasoned. Besides, if things kept going where they seemed to be going with An, he didn't want to be dependent on her. He needed his independence to move forward.

The sound of his front doorbell unnerved him. He knew he was nervous but until that instant he didn't appreciate how much. After gulping down his anxiety, he counted the steps from his chair to the door and opened it.

"Jimmy," An greeted.

He stepped back making room for her to come in and gulped again when she brushed past him, her hand glancing across his thigh. He wasn't prepared for his body's response to her fleeting touch.

An made herself at home in his kitchen. He sat at the counter, directing her to the cabinets where he stored her needed items. "You have more pans than I expected," she teased. "I thought you would be one of those men who eats out al the time."

"I do…did…a lot. But when I have time, I like to cook. It's not that I'm all that good at it… I just get tired of restaurant food."

"Yes, me too. But when it is just one sometimes it seems silly to cook. I do anyway. This is much better," she said happily.

"Cooking in my kitchen?" he asked, not understanding her meaning.

"Cooking for two," she clarified. "or three," she added as she remembered Bill.

Bill offered to clean up the kitchen when the meal was finished. Jim and An went out to his patio. "This is peaceful," she commented.

"Yeah, regular oasis," he agreed. In his mind he could see the trees and shrubs that sat along the perimeter of his backyard, what little there was of it. He hadn't wanted a large yard, too much upkeep, and besides water could be pretty scarce in the desert climate. But he had enjoyed his little patch of green. It reminded him of Jersey and the backyard he grew up in.

He could feel An's gaze on him. Finally she spoke. "Sometimes I miss the green; it was so green in Vietnam."

"Yeah, it was. Where I grew up, it was green too…lots of green." Why were they talking about green, he wondered.

"But you are happier here?" she asked.

Jim considered her question. "Happier? I dunno…more settled, I guess. I was in pretty bad shape by the time I left Jersey. I got to start over out here. It's been good for me."

"The Jimmy Brass I remember thought he could conquer anything."

Jim shrugged. "Yeah, I guess he did. But … he failed at the most important thing he ever tried to do."

"What do you mean?"

He didn't make a wedding happen," he answered sadly.

"Oh…well….it wasn't because he did not try."

"Yeah, he tried," Jim said disdainfully. "But he failed… and now…"

"And now we have found each other again," she finished before he could.

"Yeah… but…"

"No Jimmy. Do not think like that. When I remember of all the years…and the miles… that separated us and to be with you here in this time, it makes me very happy."

"Happy? How can that make you happy? Most women would be pretty pissed at me."

Maybe. But I am not. I have believed in you all of these years…and loved you and now I am happy."

Jim sat, stunned. "How could you believe in me? And…love me? You're saying you still love me?" He was incredulous.

"I did and I do. And my belief was a good one; you saved Mai…and Jimmy and Guy. And when , I gave my heart to you before I gave it all to you…you still have it."

Tears formed in his eyes but he refused to let them drop. How could she still love him, he wondered. But then he paused and reflected on his own feelings. There was a part of him that was still very much in love with her. The question he needed to answer was if he was in love with the An from his youth or the one he knew now. And the more time he spent with her, the more he was accepting that the answer was yes; he loved them both.

"An," he finally said softly. He felt her hand on his, her gentle touch that warmed him. His other hand reached to cover hers and they sat like that for a few minutes, basking in the comfort of one another's presence until finally she spoke. "If…if you wish it, I would like to…"

"To what?" he asked softly when she didn't finish.

"Can I stay with you? Help you while you recover? I want to be close to you."

Internally Jim was in panic mode. He didn't want her taking care of him; he didn't want to need taking care of. And he especially didn't want her to seem him as weak and helpless. On the other hand, it felt good to have someone who cared for him, someone he didn't have to pay, someone who was there because he was important to them. But what would Jimmy think? He asked her how their son would react.

"It might make him angry," she admitted. "But I do not care. I have tried to be careful of his feelings. But I have my own feelings too. And I want to be with you."

"I don't think it's such a good idea, An. As much as I want you here, I think it would be too much too soon…for both of us. And Bill knows how to help me with learning independence."

"Okay," she answered. But Jim could hear the sadness in her voice. "But I will ask again tomorrow and the next day and the next day," she added. "Until we are together."

Although he knew it was good to go slow, something in Jim Brass' heart soared at her declaration. "Maybe we should go back inside," Jim suggested.

"Bill must be in his room," An commented once they were inside. "The lights are low and I do not see him."

Yeah," Jim said as he made his way back to the living room. "I think I wore him out today."

The lightness of An's laughter was sweet music to Jim's ears. After everything life had thrown her, it amazed him that she could still laugh like that.

He felt her beside him. Then gently, she nudged him to sit on the sofa where she settled next to him. _What is she doing?_ He wondered. As she wiggled closer, he grinned to himself. He knew exactly what she was doing. Not wanting to disappoint her, he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her even closer. When he could feel her face on his shoulder he ventured even further, using his free hand to find her chin, lift it, and seek out her lips with his own.

The kiss was tentative at first, primarily because he wasn't sure if he was hitting the intended target. But once he felt her warm lips on his, all the nervousness fell away. Letting go of his hesitancy, Jim let his emotions rule and the kiss quickly accelerated from a somewhat chaste approach to heated, all out desire. Her reaction wasn't disappointing as she matched his fervor. "Let me stay with you tonight," she whispered as the kiss ended.

"An, I don't know," he said breathlessly. "I'm not sure what you are asking and…I don't know if I'm ready if it is what I think you are asking."

"Hold me, Jimmy. Hold me and kiss me and hug me. I don't want to leave you tonight. I want to feel this…this warm and comfort all the time."

His emotions in overdrive, Jim tried to think, to reason why this wasn't a good idea. But all he could think was how good this felt and how much he wanted it too. So taking her hand, he stood, and then led her down the hall to his room.

* * *

><p>Hmmm... now what;-)<p>

It is the season for giving. Reviews would be very nice!


	27. Good Morning

Two things registered in Jim Brass' mind the next morning. First, there was someone else in his bed and he still had all his clothes on. Second, someone was pounding on his front door. Giving his head a moment to clear, he remembered An coming to bed with him last night. They cuddled. They talked. They'd made out like a couple of teenagers. And then they'd fallen asleep, happy in each other's arms.

He'd considered taking things a step further but was reluctant. He couldn't see how An was handling things, couldn't take cues from her body language other than to feel her tense from time to time. He knew her history, she'd shared a few more of the gruesome details, and he knew she'd been with no one else since then. He'd been her only encounter of choice and that had been forty years ago. She had to be afraid of more intimate relations and he didn't want to add more fear to her already troubled life. No, he'd decided, things would be on her time table, not his. That resolve didn't keep him from hoping though. Despite the banging on the door, comfortable warmth spread through Jim. He hadn't felt that kind of hope in a very long time.

He felt her stirring. "Stay here," he told her softly. "Let me see who's at the door." He climbed out of bed and shuffled through the hall, counting steps as he went. Just as he arrived in the living room, he heard the door open and Bill's voice. "Can I help you?" he asked.

Jim heard shuffling feet and Bill's gasp. "Hey, you can't just barge in…"

"She is here. Her car is outside," yelled Jimmy Trang. The voice turned toward Jim. "Where is she? What have you done to her?"

Trying to collect his thoughts, Jimmy's panic unsettling him, Jim shook his head. "Who? An?" She's…"

"I am here, my son," An's light voice lilted into the room. "What are you doing here?"

"You did not return last night. I was worried. I found this address next to your phone," he replied quickly. The disgustedly he added, "you stayed with him last night?"

"Jimmy, it's not what you're…" Jim tried to explain. But An began speaking too, "I did, Jimmy. I asked him to let me stay…"

"…thinking," Jim finished.

Jim heard the younger man's intake of breath and Bill from the other side of the room, "You don't need me in this, I'll just…" Jim followed the sound of Bill moving through the room to the kitchen. Then turning his attention back to Jimmy, he sighed.

"Look Jimmy, I know you're not to happy about me suddenly appearing in your life or your mother's but you've got this all wrong."

"Wrong?" Jimmy yelped. "_I_ have it wrong? You abandoned my mother and I am the one that is wrong?"

"No, no…that's not what I meant. I just meant that …well, your mother and I just talked…that's all."

"You really expect me to believe that?" Jimmy asked incredulously. "After the way you treated her before…using her and then leaving her…like a common whore?"

Jim clinched his fist, his anger almost getting the better of him. "Say what you want about me but don't ever talk about your mother like that again," Jim warned.

"Isn't that what you do…use women as sluts and then leave them? I've made inquiries. You never stay with one woman long. Use them and lose them…like a dog," he spat.

Still clinching his fist, Jim tried to calm down. He felt An brush by him and start yelling at Jimmy in Vietnamese. Jim was never good at the language and he hadn't even tried to speak it in years but it didn't take a linguist to understand that Jimmy was getting a harsh scolding.

Reaching for the sound of her voice, Jim found her arm. "An," he said gently. Hearing no response, he spoke a little louder, "An…"

With a huff, she turned to him. "What?"

"Let him have his say. He obviously doesn't trust me…and I guess I can understand why. He didn't know where you were; it scared him. He didn't know if you were with me or if something worse had happened to you."

"There is worse than the way you treated her?" Jimmy blasted.

Jim flinched as he heard the sound of a hand hitting a face. It wasn't hard to guess who'd done the slapping. "An…please…" he pleaded.

"See what you have done?" Jimmy accused.

"He has done nothing wrong…" An yelled. "…unless loving me and saving your daughter…and you is wrong. You will tell him you are sorry for those ugly things you said."

"I will not…" Jimmy declared as Jim spoke, "An, it's okay. Let it go."

"I will not!" she declared. Then turning to her son, she informed him. "I was with your father last night. I was with him against his judgment. He thought it was too soon but I wanted it, Jimmy. You will understand this: there has never been another man for me. I gave my heart to him before you were born, before you were even made. My heart will still be his on the day that I die. I have done everything for you because you are my son and I love you. You are his son too, which only made me more determined to give you everything I had to give. All of my love for him I put into you. And now you have your own family. And I have found your father. Nothing will keep me from him if he will have me after all these years. Nothing!"

The absolute silence that followed alarmed Jim. He could hear An's breathing next to him but everything else was quiet. After a moment or two of the terror, he heard Jimmy speak in a calmer tone. "And you?" he directed at Jim. "Does she have your heart?"

Flustered, Jim wasn't quite sure how to answer. Then reaching for An, he pulled her to him. "What I feel isn't your business. It is between me and her. I hope you can accept me as your father. If you can't, I understand. But she is your mother, the one who fought for you through hell. You owe her your respect and I know you love her. The last thing I want is to cause a problem for the two of you."

"You didn't answer. If you loved her as you claimed, why did you leave her?"

Releasing a pent up breath, Jim sighed. "Orders. Our unit was ordered out and I had no choice but to go. If I had tried to stay, I would have faced court martial. I didn't want to go, not without your mother."

"So you left her…and me," Jimmy muttered sadly.

Jim heard the grief in his son's voice. He remembered Ellie accusing him several years earlier of always walking away, out of her life. And he realized that now he had two kids who thought he never wanted them. "Jimmy, I didn't want to go. I didn't know about you but…I can't honestly claim anything would have been different. Except that I would have known you were out there somewhere and I would have kept looking. When I realized I wouldn't make it back to get your mother, I assumed she would marry someone else. I kept telling myself it was for the best…"

"You would not have wanted a Vietnamese son…" Jimmy insisted.

"You are our son… living breathing proof of what was between us back then. I might be a lousy father, but I'd never turn my back on you. You are my son." He felt An shift next to him and he pulled her closer. "An and I have a lot to talk about...a lot of things to work through…decisions we need to make about us….between us. While we are doing that, you're just going to have to deal."

"How can I do that? She trusted you and you left."

Jim sighed. "Look, I get it, I really do. But I was just a kid back then too..." He swiped the back of his head with his hand, trying to gather in his emotions and think. "I'd like to think I've learned a few things since then. But even if I haven't, there's no one here telling me I have to leave… unless An does. I want to be your father Jimmy and I want to be a grandfather for your kids. Even more than that, I want for me and An to have the space to see where things can go between us."

"You still want this man?" Jimmy directed at his mother.

"I have never stopped wanting him," An replied softly.

"But…I remember when I was small; you cried in the dark about him…that he left you. It made me sad and angry."

"I was crying because I missed him…wanted him so much that it hurt. But I always knew he did not want to leave me, Jimmy. I remembered how angry he was when his superiors would not let us get married. I knew how much he loved me…he even told his family about me and talked to his father about taking me home."

Jim held An tighter, his emotions too chaotic for him to speak. She hadn't told him that she'd cried for him at night, although he should have guessed; he'd certainly done his share of crying at night over her… hurting for just the sight of her.

He felt the atmosphere change in the room. Jimmy sighed and stared at his mother and then studied the two of them together. His father had his arm firmly around his mother, tears in both their eyes. And both looked so sad. He'd expected his father to be smug about the previous night but Jimmy had been surprised. Jim Brass wasn't treating his mother as a conquest. In fact, he seemed to be treating her as someone he cherished, protecting her and defending her honor, even to her own son. Jimmy had noticed Jim's clinched fist and he'd realized that blind or not, the older man would have come after him if he'd said anything more.

Perplexed, Jimmy simply stood in the middle of the room watching them. An was glaring back at him and Jim was staying next to her, his free hand twitching nervously. Briefly, the image of a coiled snake flashed in Jimmy's mind. The man would strike if he felt An was threatened. He'd already proved that in the parking lot a couple of nights before. Maybe Jim Brass really did love his mother, Jimmy thought. Or at least, had loved her before. But what about now, he wondered.

Quietly he voiced his question. "You are talking about these things…about what you feel now?"

"We are," An confirmed. Jim felt her beginning to relax in his grasp. "But Jim is much too slow," she teased.

Hearing the mocking in her voice, Jim grinned. Maybe she was more ready to take things further than he'd credited her with. More than that though, it made him feel like things might be okay after all…that maybe they really could work this out. It made him want to take her back to bed, to shower her with kisses and hugs and all the tender touches they'd missed out on. He wanted to claim her as his. Suddenly he was forty years younger, standing in the edge of the forest with her, needing her so badly that it hurt. Determination seeped through him as he engulfed her in his arms, holding her closely and kissing the top of her head. This time no one would take him away from her.

Jimmy didn't like the way his mother had spoken. He especially didn't like the grin on Jim that followed. But as he stood there watching, he suddenly felt like an intruder. His parents, he realized, had a place that was their very own, where no one else would be welcome. For his mother's sake, he was happy to see that. But it undermined everything he'd ever believed about his father and that was going to take getting used to.

* * *

><p>Well, that was an interesting wake up call, don't you think? SO... too fast, too slow, just right? Let me know what you think.<p> 


	28. Unveiling

The days passed slowly for Jim. He was anxious to get his sight back and although at times he thought he was noticing improvement, he still wasn't able to see anything other than light and dark. As time passed, his frustration grew.

Bill and his therapist had worked with him enough that he was functioning well in his own home. He'd even managed to do a little cooking. An visited everyday and was cooking most of his meals for him though and finally a few days earlier, he'd dismissed Bill. Not having to feel dependent had brightened his mood considerably; enough that he was considering asking An for another date.

They were in his kitchen, talking while An prepared a lunch for them, when he heard knocking at his front door. Carefully he made his way over and called through the door, "Who is it?"

"It is…Jimmy," a voice sounded from outside.

After the younger man's last visit, Jim wasn't sure he really wanted to open the door. Pushing down his anxiety, Jim slowly opened the door. 'Hey," he offered as a greeting.

"I …we would like to come in," Jimmy Trang answered.

"We?"

"I have brought my family… to see you. I know my mother is already here."

"Yes, she is," Jim said as he stepped back to let them in. "She's in the kitchen. We were about to have lunch but…"

"Please," Alicia Trang intervened, "don't let us keep you from eating. We've had ours already though."

Jim turned in her direction, giving his head a slight nod to acknowledge her. He felt a hand on his, too small to be hers. "Mr. Brass…" Mai whispered softly.

Jim's spirits lifted. "Mai?"

"Yes. I came with my parents…and with Vinh."

"Vinh is here too?" Jim asked, confused by the appearance of the entire family.

"I am," the boy replied. "Mama and Daddy said it was time to visit. Mai told me you were hurt bad. I wondered if you were getting better."

Jim smiled. "Much better."

"But you still can't see," Mai commented sadly.

"Not yet…but it is getting better. For instance, I can tell someone is standing in front of the window."

"That's my Dad," Vinh responded.

Jim heard An's footsteps as she moved from the kitchen to the living room. "Jimmy, lunch is…. Oh," she said as she entered the room and saw her son and his family. Jim heard giggles from the children.

"It is rude to laugh," Jimmy Trang admonished.

The children got quiet but Jim was curious. "What were you laughing about?"

"It isn't that funny really," Vinh answered. "It's just that Bai called you Jimmy, like our father."

"Bai?"

"Grandmother," answered Vinh.

"Oh…right," Jim nodded. He felt An move to his side, her arm working into the crook of his elbow. "Why are you here, Jimmy?" she asked.

"Well, I…we…Alicia and I knew you would be here and…," he sighed. "We believe it is time."

"Time?" Jim asked, still confused.

"I've told Alicia. But we…she thought we should all be together when I tell the children… that they will have questions that I might not have the best answers for."

Alarm bells sounded loudly in Jim's head as understanding dawned. "You sure?"

"I am sure," Jimmy stated firmly. "I have… delayed long enough. They should know."

"Know what, Father?" Mai's nervous voice sounded from Jim's right.

"Why don't we all sit down, get comfortable?" Jim suggested.

An sat next to Jim on the arm of his chair. He heard Jimmy and Alicia settle into his sofa. Mai, he knew was next to Alicia but he couldn't tell where Vinh had landed. Then suddenly he felt a small hand on his shoulder. Vinh had climbed on the other arm of his chair.

Jimmy cleared his throat and began speaking. "Mai…Vinh, you know what this man did for us, saving me and especially what he did for Mai. But there is more you should know about this man."

"What?" Vinh asked. Then turning toward Jim he asked, "You're not taking my Daddy away to jail or you?"

Jim chuckled. "No, nothing like that…"

"It's just that…" An spoke up, "a long time ago in Vietnam, I knew Jim Brass."

"You did," Vinh asked excitedly. "You said you were in Vietnam," Vinh directed at Jim.

"I was." Jim replied. "In your grandmother's village, even. I knew her and her brothers and her parents."

Mai quietly joined in. "You were in love, weren't you?" The tone in Mai's voice was full of a pre-teen girl's romantic notions.

Jim reached for An's hand, which he pulled close to him. "I was; we were," Jim affirmed. "But it was the middle of a war and things were difficult."

"But…you were still in love with her?" There was a pause as Jim waited for the puzzle to come together in her mind. "Oh wait…_you_ were the one…you're…"

"My father," Jimmy finished.

The room was eerily quiet for a moment and then Mai began to giggle. "You're my grandfather," Vinh asked from Jim's right.

"I am," Jim said uneasily as the boy fell into his lap, covering him in a hug.

"Awesome!" squealed Vinh.

Jim held Vinh tightly. "Well, it is for me," he told the boy. He heard footsteps and then felt another set of hands…Mai. "Ong," she said softly. Jim reached out, releasing Vinh with his right hand to find Mai. "If that means granddad I like it," he said, tears pooling in his eyes.

"It does," An whispered from his side.

Jimmy Trang watched as his children embraced his father, the man he'd hated all of his life. He studied the expression on Jim's face and realized the man's emotions were genuine. He was happy to be acknowledged by his grandchildren, his Vietnamese grandchildren. And as the man reached around both children, using his huge hands to wrap them in a hug, Jimmy felt the hatred fade away. Alicia had already accused him of being unreasonable, not letting the man have a chance. As Jimmy watched the scene unfolding, he knew she was right.

It was Mai who spoke first. "Why did you leave, Ong?"

Swallowing back his emotions, Jim turned to her, wishing he could see her face. "I was in the Marines. Our unit had been assigned to your grandmother's village." He smiled as he recalled seeing her for the first time. "She was the most beautiful girl in the village," he remembered wistfully. "It took a couple of months to even get her to talk to me and then it was difficult. She didn't know English and my Vietnamese was pretty bad. But we learned to understand each other. And she learned English quickly too," he said proudly. "After a while, I knew I loved her and I applied for permission for us to get married. But my C.O. denied the request," he said darkly. He felt An squeeze his shoulder. Reaching up, he took her hand in his and then continued. "We were pulled out before I could take it any higher. I tried to go back but by then, the country was closed and I couldn't go."

"But you said you did go back," Vinh reminded him.

"I did…but it had been over twenty years. I couldn't find any trace of An."

"So when you were looking for me, you didn't know that I'm your granddaughter?" Mai asked.

"No, I didn't. But… the case was bringing back memories."

Suddenly Mai threw herself back into Jim's arms. "I'm so glad it was you that found me," she cried. "But I wish you didn't get hurt."

Jim held her, his heart warmed by her declaration. "I'm glad I found you too. Having you here like this is worth getting hurt," he told her.

"Can we come see you?" Vinh asked.

"Sure…anytime," Jim replied. "I'd like that. But I hope I'll be spending time with your grandmother… a lot of time," he winked at the boy. Mai giggled. "What?" Jim exclaimed. "You think that's funny?"

"Uh-huh," Mai answered. "You still love her, don't you?"

Jimmy watched as Jim's features softened. "I do," he answered Mai.

It was Alicia who noticed that Jim was getting tired. He insisted that he wasn't and he was so happy with the way things were going, he really didn't feel tired. But An saw it too and agreed with Alicia that they needed to leave and let Jim rest.

"Can we come back tomorrow?" Vinh asked as they walked out the door.

Jimmy looked from his son to his father and replied, "It is alright with me. You'll have to ask your grandfather if he is willing to put up with you."

Jim smiled. "Anytime kiddo…anytime."

Jim and An talked over lunch about the visitors. "They seemed happy…the kids," he told her.

"They are happy. Mai has been worried about you since the hospital and Vinh has talked about you much since you went to their house. He spoke of the police captain who had visited Vietnam."

"How did Jimmy take it? He seemed okay; I mean, I didn't hear anything in his voice…"

"He seems at peace, finally. It has been difficult for him but now that he knows you…and seeing how you were with the children has helped."

Jim reached over the table to take An's hand. "They're great kids. And Jimmy is a good father."

"Yes, a little hard headed at times, but he is a good father… like I believe you would have been if you had the chance."

Somberly Jim sighed. "I had the chance. My daughter, Ellie… she hates me."

"But still, you love her."

"Smiling sadly, Jim nodded. "I do. I keep hoping…" Then squeezing her hand he smiled a happier smile. "But now I have a second chance. I'm going to be the best grandfather…spoil those kids; you'll see. And if Jimmy will let me… I mean, I know it is probably too late for a real father-son kind of thing, but I do want to be there for him."

"He will never say it but he has wished for this all of his life."

They finished eating and Jim helped An with the dishes. Then she turned to him. "You should rest."

"You gonna tuck me in," he teased.

"You are a child that needs to be tucked in?" She shot back.

"I can be if it will get me what I want," he grinned.

"What is it you want Jimmy Brass?"

Suddenly becoming very still, Jim's demeanor softened. "You," he answered softly. He felt her change; become nervous and instantly wished he could take it back. "An," he whispered. "Honey, I didn't mean…"

"I know," she said just as softly. "It is just… it has been so many years since…and there has been no one else for me. And you've…"

Internally, Jim was kicking himself. "Honey, I know the idea of us…of being so …intimate… is kind of scary. Hell, it scares me too. I'm not that kid anymore; my body isn't…well, it's been beat up. And I'm not trying to …I mean, we don't have to…do anything. I just…I want…need to hold you and know this is real."

"So do I," she responded. "But I also want…intimacy. I want to feel that connection that other people talk and write about. I want to feel like we are part of each other."

Jim could hardly breathe. Everything was suddenly very quiet in his house except for the sound of her breathing. "I want that too, Baby." Then reaching for and finding her face, he gently stroked the side of it. "You've been in my heart for over forty years, An. You are a part of me already. I can wait until you are ready…"

He heard her giggle. "What?" he teased.

"You can wait? You are not getting any younger," she scoffed.

Smiling, Jim leaned down and kissed her. "No, I'm not" he replied after the kiss. "But just knowing you are here, with me…" and then he kissed her again, deeper and more passionately.

They had kissed, many times. And An had laid next to him in the bed several times. But this time was different. There were no boundaries, no limits to how far they might go. Jim felt it in her body, her desire for a more physical connection. His own body was screaming it.

He hadn't lied when he told her he was nervous. Physically he wasn't at all like that guy forty years ago. And not being able to see her, gage her responses, was inhibiting. Conversely, the feel of her beneath his fingers was exhilarating, as was the feel of her hands on him.

Time was meaningless, the cocoon of their love making everything else insignificant. For Jim is was as if things were happening in slow motion and full speed at the same time as he relished every touch and reaction, his heart racing at times and quietly floating at others.

He could feel An's apprehension at times. Other times she was composed, fully participating. And when finally she took him in hand and nudged him to her, Jim's chest felt like it would explode. Their bodies joined in a deep kiss, every cell in his body unbelievably aware of her.

For Jim, their consummation was unlike anything he'd experienced before. It confirmed that his feelings hadn't really changed about the woman who was now lying next to him. He lay there blissfully until he heard a sniffle. His heart constricted as fear overwhelmed him. "An? I'm sorry; I didn't mean to hurt you…"

She gasped softly and then her hand went to his face. "No, you did not hurt me…"

"Then why…why the tears?" he asked apprehensively.

"After what those soldiers did to me and the ones on the boat, I was afraid. Although I remembered that you were not like those men, I didn't remember it as being so…"

"You're okay; I didn't hurt you?" he asked, his anxiety lessening even as his anger over her mistreatment was resurfacing.

"No, you did not hurt me. You …it was… beautiful," she said as she settled back into him. "I never imagined it could be so special."

He rolled onto his side, wrapping his arms around her and gathering her into his body. "It is you who is special," he whispered. "I love you, An."

"I have always loved you, Jimmy," she said as they both fell into lethargy and then sleep.

When Jim woke a few hours later, he tensed. Something was different. He felt An, still snuggled next to him and then listened to her soft breathing. Tenderly he kissed her bare shoulder, moving her hair as he worked his way into her neck. And then he realized what had changed.

Her hair was still dark, although peppered with gray. Even though there were a few lines from age, her face was very much the face he remembered from before. And she slept with a small smile on her lips. It matched the one growing on his face.

He could see. Things were still blurry but he could see her. As overjoyed as he was to have sight again, he remained still, simply enjoying the sight of her. Realization grew within him that this was something he wanted for the rest of his life, waking to her soft smile.

* * *

><p>I decided to leave the details to your imaginations in this one. Hope you enjoyed drawing your own mental pictures, lol. Input sure would be nice; I could use the inspiration! Okay, off to work on the next chapter.<p> 


	29. Epilogue

They stood on the path at the edge of the village, gazing across verdant fields. In her mind's eye she could see a line of men crossing the green countryside. She remembered the one that stole a glance over his shoulder, the one whose eyes were as full as hers; the one who took her heart with him. A rear trickled down her face as she considered the miracle that had brought him back to her.

He watched her as she remembered. Glancing towards the path at the other side of the field, the forest and hillside just ahead, he remembered his heavy heart from that day so long ago. And now he stood her with her, with the family he had left behind. Taking her hand in his, he turned her toward the village. Walking through the center, they found the place where it had begun, the site of her parent's hut. It had been replaced by a new one, larger and sturdier.

The children, their grandchildren, approached a child in front of the hut and began a conversation, their Vietnamese awkward but understood by the other. Jim stole a glance at Jimmy, who watched with a mixture of sadness and relief on his face. Alicia stood next to him, quietly supportive.

Then unexpectedly, Jimmy turned to him. "I have been thinking," he said quietly. "And I have discussed it with Alicia. She agrees with me. If it is alright with you, I'd like…Well, it might be too confusing for me to do it, but I'd like…"

"What Jimmy? What is it you want?" Jim asked.

"The children… Alicia and I would like to change their names…last names… to Brass. We, Alicia and I, would hyphenate ours to Brass-Trang and the children would just be Brass…if you approve." Jimmy looked at him with trepidation.

Shocked, Jim was mute. An's hand tightened in his, encouraging him. But he simply couldn't speak as tears pooled in his eyes.

"It…it is alright," Jimmy started. "I understand…"

His son's disappointment sent a sharp pain through Jim. Collecting his emotions, he reached for his son's shoulder. Clasping it, Jim found his voice. "I would be very proud if you did that," he said as he looked his son squarely in the eyes. "You and the kids bring honor to me…I am very proud."

Swallowing deeply, Jimmy fought the tears that were gathering in his own eyes until his father pulled him into a hug. "I am honored to be your son," he choked out.

Alicia, standing next to An now, smiled. "So now it is official," she said. "We are all Brass'," she finished as she held An's hand, the one with Jim's ring on it.

"It is better than I ever hoped," An added.

A few minutes later, they crossed the verdant fields, braving the open space, secure that there was no enemy. The family headed towards the path at the other side of the field, the forest and hillside just ahead. Like a worm, they inched across the last of the field and into the green of the forest, and as they disappeared into the trees he knew that the path would take a slight turn, climb the small hill and then head east into a future he could never have imagined the first time he took this path. The Brass family was going home.

* * *

><p>Well, that's all folks. It took longer than I'd expected because of all the computer glitches, not to mention losing multiple chapters that had been written. My mojo went with them for awhile. Many, many thanks for continuing to read along and especially for the wonderfully supportive comments and reviews along the way. In some ways this one was the hardest I've ever written. Special thanks to Beaujolais, who helped me flesh out some thoughts and ideas in the beginning and to SylvieT, who gave me the inspiration for the ending. Both are very talented writers and their input meant so much.<p>

Hope you enjoyed it. See you in the next little fantasy, lol.


End file.
